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46 San Francisco, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
May 20
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Working on Ph.D program
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Scientist. Solipsist. Materialist. Marxist. Pedant. Aesthete. Flaneur. Epicure. Bon vivant. Gadfly. Iconoclast. Polymath. Autodidact. Gregarious. Self Possessed. Mercurial.

I like: watching fog roll; being out early in the morning while the world is quiet; walking; when my sweet dog wags his tail; I'm a sucker for polished fingernails and a woman wearing awesome shoes; that electric zing between your brain and tongue as you take the first bite of something mind-blowingly delicious; that sweet anticipation right before a kiss; awakening during the night and feeling someone close.

I don't like: electric garage door openers; having to drive everywhere; celery; self-absorption; when my hands are so cold I can't type.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professionally, I'm worshiping in the high temple of the rational mind. Did a 10+ year sentence in the tech industry, now wrapping up a PhD and wondering where this adventure will take me next.

But that's hardly my life. Rather I'm trying to walk the middle path between asceticism and sensualism; discipline and indulgence; suffering and pleasure. And overall just trying not to take this shit too seriously.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Anything for my friends or family

Anything I put my mind to

Finding my way when I'm lost

Getting lost

Frying eggs


Doing absolutely nothing
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Answering this question feels a little vain. Dunno. Lately I get the sense that I come across as overly cerebral. Which seems to scare people off. Which sucks because I'd rather be on a swing set than discussing Derrida.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Right now I'm listening to "Love My Way" by the Psychedelic Furs.

Books: Just put Moby Dick on the back burner to readNarcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse, which I put on the other back burner to read Kitchen Confidential. (Interrupted by articles in The Baffler or N+1.) If you think Anthony Bourdain is the coolest it won't be a deal-breaker, but I suspect we'll have a lively conversation.

Food: Eat good food, not too much, mostly plants. Right now I'm looking to learn tasty recipes that involve lots of vegetables.

Film: Maybe I should put this under the 'private' thing below, but my two absolute favorites: Hairspray (the one with John Travolta) and the Birdcage (American version, Robin Williams and Nathan Lane.). I'm laughing as I type this, thinking about Agador Spartacus singing "She works hard for the money." And, yes, I'm straight.

TV: Right now it's Californication. When Season 3 begins, it will be Sherlock.

Shows: I love Broadway. Seriously. Avenue Q, Chicago, 42nd St., anything by Cole Porter.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Yes, yes, family, friends, affection, pets, travel... But having moved recently I was surprised by the first things I unpacked.

1. A quilt rack I've repurposed for clothing purgatory (not dirty enough for the hamper, not clean enough to put back in the closet).

2. Trader Joe's uncrystalized candied ginger.

3. Really good Earl Grey tea (which I have not yet found). Related to that, my variable temperature tea kettle.

4. My copy of Data Analysis Using Regression and Multilevel/Hierarchical Models by Gelman and Hill.

5. My copy of How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman. Which I cannot find.

6. Text messages from friends.

And I guess it's not really the point, but it's equally surprising what I can do without. But that's a topic for another conversation...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
All kinds of things:

What's with all the driving selfies?

Tucked or untucked?

How is my Dad doing?

Trying not to be annoyed by verbing (ha!) nouns. E.g., look at how J. Crew adds -ing to words that are already nouns (shirting, suiting)? It's not a present participle (one doesn't shirt). No, they're completing the circle of making a noun out of a verbed noun. (Eye roll.)

How can we be an 87% match but 17% enemies?

What does it mean that we're enemies anyway?

Will happy couples stay together?

"Hey, you two! The ones not listening to each other, the ones being mean to each other! Yeah, you! Be kind to each other! Damnit!"

Why does OKCupid think I'm arrogant?

I should call my mother.

Subject matter to shoot while practicing Lighting 101 from The Strobist.

A job that would have me working outside.

Wishing I could have a beer with my friend who is in Buenos Aries and the one who is in Krakow. I really miss them.

That despite the high cost of living, the demand for it is perfectly elastic.

Building my dream house in my mind. Ask me about it. It has an outdoor kitchen.

Syzygy and the collective unconscious.

That most of what we put in these things is just a mask, the Jungian persona(e); that most of our worlds are in our minds. I guess Heidegger was on to something.

That I should close this tab and get back to work on my thesis.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Endlessly fascinated by people who have the courage to be themselves.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a pedantic speller and grammar nazi but I misspell caffeine and bourgeoise every time (thank you spell check).

Not private, but perhaps crucial: I am not in town at the moment. I'm spending the winter in New Mexico helping my Dad deal with some heavy stuff. I'll be in San Francisco this summer, inshallah.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Take a look at the surprisingly accurate personality tab. Think we're a match? (What's with the arrogance thing? Is that how they spell 'confidence'?)

You've endured the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and think that 'to be or not to be?' is a stupid question.

You're tall and you have the cojones to wear heels. Or you're short and you don't feel the need to always wear heels. In other words, you rock who you are.

And especially if you're kind. I've got a lot of mileage with self-absorbed types. Think I'll try walking on the other side for a bit.

And not one of these tedious questions has a prompt for ideal date, but Google, "clara bensen salon craziest OKCupid". If you think that sounds awesome.