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funkieb

27 M Sacramento, CA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 11
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
I JUST moved to Sacramento and have literally no friends here.

Let's hang out. For realsies.

Here's a poem I wrote last year called Bildungsroman. (I write poems...LAAAAAME right? No but for real, you might like this):

25 means nose hair.
Means hopeless moment in check out line
when cute, bubbly 19 year old smiles at me
while ringing up my nose hair trimmer.

Means weird joint aches
and can’t-do-fast-food.

Means won’t take a shot
unless a girl is taking two.

Means cynical.
Means drives faster.
Means drives angrier
and uses the horn more.

Means no-longer-study-something-to-impress-you.
Now, I nod and smile. Means slowly noticing
I use less curse words. Still, could give a fuck
about your favorite foreign film or folk band.

25 means more perceptive. More able
to spot the crack in the façade, can tell
the difference now--between a smile and a smile
asking my opinion, begging for permission
to exist.

Means I can sense your loneliness.
Can tell you have a pulse that’s just like my pulse,
always searching for its rhythm through the noise
of other peoples anthems. Means understanding

this is power. 25 means confidence. Finally.
Means commanding your attention,
giving less away and knowing the value
of my time. Means brusque and assholish.
Less bend in my backbone and need-you-to-like-me.

25 means flip-flops everywhere.
Means yesterdays t shirts, yesterdays jeans.
Means sometimes
I can’t leave the house without looking homeless,
my hair--a fabulous bedraggled mess
in tribute to the mad science of myself.

Means exercise. Means architect.
Means drink a lot less Pepsi.
Less Coke. Less weirdly colored sports drinks.
More bottled water. More push up and free weight
and days spent walking my shadow into dusk,
spent sweating my body into butterfly.

Means heartthrob.
Means hybrid. Means
I quote Neruda on the first date
and Biggie in the bedroom.

25 means on my grind.
Means stupid-endless-hustle
eight-armed-plate-spinner. No slouch.
No sleep ‘til noon. Now suit and tie
and interview. Means pep talk
a reflection all the way to glory.

25 means no more games.
Means I can spot your games.
Means don’t believe a word
but won’t be goaded into action.

Means that I can tell when you’re attracted.
I can tell when you’re disgusted. I can tell
you caught me staring at your breasts

and 25 means Yeah I Was!!
I won’t apologize for my biology.
I won’t apologize for my intelligence.
I won’t apologize for liking rap
and Disney, and Broadway
and chess and poetry and everything else
that makes me who I am.

Means finally feeling like a man.
Means raising the flag of myself to full mast
and learning to salute it openly. Means using this heart
like it’s mine. Means shedding all the dead skin
shackles of my boyhood and standing here
before you unafraid. 25 means

hands that finally know
they’re strong enough
to reach for anything.
What I’m doing with my life
Working. Writing. Driving. Performing.
I’m really good at
Listening without judging. Making people laugh. Writing. Surprising people. Inspiring people. Being refreshing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't smile all that much. hahah.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love books. Recent reads: Infinite Jest. Kafka on the Shore. Number 9 Dream. The Egyptologist. Anything Write Bloody publishing. The New Clean. Racing Hummingbirds. Love in the Time of Robot Apocalypse.

I LOVE film if it's smart or well written or well directed or well acted or artful or any combination of some of those things. My taste kind of spans all genres, but I can definitely be picky. Some favorites: The Big Lebowski. Good Will Hunting. Away We Go. Heat. Little Children. American Beauty. Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. Usual Suspects. Garden State. Last Kiss. Ronin. No Country for Old Men. The Prestige. The Dark Knight. Dogma. The Fountain. Lucky Number Slevin. Crash. Shawshank Redemption. Sideways. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. Fargo. Chasing Amy. She's the One. Clerks.

Lots more. Ask!

As far as music goes--I like a lot! Etta James to Garth Brooks to Biggie and Pac. Chris Cornell, Ben Gibbard, Leonard Cohen, John Coltrane and Miles and Counting Crows and Foo Fighters and the YYY's and The Exploding Hearts and Alexi Murdoch and not gonna lie, when Bye Bye Bye comes on my iPod I will drop everything and rock the fuck out.

I used to be fatter. I like all food.
The six things I could never do without
1. Music
2. sense of humor
3. poems
4. Pens
5. Connection
6. Film
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Poems. Stories. Moments. Things worth saying. Things worth sharing.

Relationships between things. How stuff connects with--relates to--and alters other stuff. Same with people. How they interact--learn--grow--and change each other.
On a typical Friday night I am
exploring Sacramento now! Hangin in Berkeley or in San Francisco watchin a show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I write and perform poetry. Pretty well too.

Also--if I ever live through a horrible accident and have to be re-made like the 6 million dollar man--you are to tell my doctors that I want Zach Braff's hair--Jay-Z's lips--and Justin Timberlake's legs.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Message me if you're a happy, hopeful, or passionate person. Message me if there are moments when your heart becomes a hot air balloon inside your chest and you can feel the lift inside your toes, and for an instant you believe that you are stronger than this gravity.

If you're still on the fence about whether i'm a cool guy or not you should continue snoopin around and check out my tumblr. There you'll find a much more candid illustration of my personality, as it is pretty frequently updated. www.playingtheboard.tumblr.com