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funnysmartclever

42 M Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Aug 13
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Aquarius
Education
Graduated from two-year college
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Italian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
WARNING! This profile contains matters of extreme humor, satire and parody! You have been warned.

Wow! Do I really get to tell you all about me here so that when we do talk we'll have nothing to say because we already read it all?

And just because I have some skeletons in my closet doesn't mean they weren't already dead when I found them.

As you can tell I am extremely sarcastic.

I am blunt and brutally honest. No topic is taboo. Some people cannot handle my level of honesty but I'd rather be hated for being honest than for being a liar.

I'm a transplant from upstate NY. I live in Oakland, CA. My musical tastes are quite eclectic.

I speak my mind at all times. There is nothing I'm afraid to say. If more people spoke their minds the world would be less complicated. Because we'd all know what each other wants. The time spent on subtlety could be better spent doing other things. Like reading a book. Or riding my bike.

When you ban words you give those words power. They are only offensive because you try to suppress them. Lenny Bruce once said "Its the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence and the viciousness". At one point in time fuck, shit and asshole were considered bad words and now we use them so much they have no power over us. If we use the words we are told are so offensive more often then we will become so desensitized to their use that they will have no effect on us anymore. I keep seeing people complaining of the words people use because they feel offended by them but those words only have that power because people are giving them that power.

"To be what one is by ones own act is freedom" - Soren Kierkegaard

"Its the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence and the viciousness" - Lenny Bruce

"I may not agree with what you have to say but I will defend to my dying breath your right to say it" - Patrick Henry

"There are those that love to start drama while I love to start comedy. I am not a drama king, I am a comedy king. I find humor in everything!!!" - Christopher DiPasquale

"What labels me, negates me." - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"Its a fucked up world in which we live, in order to evolve we must forgive" - Christopher DiPasquale

"The proper office of a friend is to stand behind you when you are in the wrong because anyone will stand behind you when you are in the right" - Samuel Clemons

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
~ Dr. Seuss

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." - Thomas Aquinas

"Love is a drug. When you're on it you want more, more, more and you can't live without it. When you're coming off of it it hits you harder than slamming into a concrete wall at 140 mph. We are all addicts when it comes to love." - Christopher DiPasquale

"Madness is like gravity, all you need is a little push!!!" - Heath Ledger

"Anarchy is like Christianity. A lot of well meaning beliefs that will never work out in real life!!!" - Christopher DiPasquale

I'm FINALLY passed the angry stage in my life where I am angry all the time so I try to joke around and laugh as much as possible. I finally figured out how to place what little anger I have left in the right places so if I get angry it's for the right reasons. So therefore I could use more positive people in my life.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Whatever I want!!!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon!!!!
Winning at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People say I look intimidating or scary.

Then they notice how nice and sweet I actually am as well as my intelligence when they talk to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I go more for authors than books. If I like 1 book by an author then I'll read their other works. I do like Dan Brown as he uses real history in his fictional stories. I LOVE Hell's Angel: The life and times of Sonny Barger and the HAMC. Its a fantastic read. Mainly because it gives a lot of great history of Oakland. I've read The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw about my grandparents generation. How they survived the depression, then moved to fight in WW2 and how they lived after it. My very favorite author is Phillip K. Dick. I also have so many books on my table that it's too much to type.

Currently reading Whores: An Oral Biography of Perry Farrell and Jane's Addiction.

Movies: AIRPLANE is hands down the FUNNIEST movie EVER!!! Adventureland, The Big Lebowski, The 40 Year Old Virgin, So I Married an Axe Murderer, Beetlejuice, Animal House, Flirting with Disaster, all STAR WARS, The Dark Knight trilogy, anything with Christian Bale, Russell Crowe or Johnny Depp is always great!!!! As well as anything by Terry Gilliam, Tim Burton, Todd Phillips, Mel Brooks, Christopher Nolan, John Hughes, Paul Thomas Anderson. When people talk about Stanley Kubrick all they talk about is A Clockwork Orange. I actually think that Dr. Strangelove is his best film. But honestly if you do like Airplane then we probably won't get along as our sense of humor won't match up and what I'll find funny you probably won't. Sense of humor is really big with me.

There are way too many other movies for me to go into here but I am addicted to movies!!! Watch them all the time!!!!

TV: Entourage(I LOVE ARI GOLD), LOST, 24, Rescue Me, Weeds, Deadwood, Heroes, The Simpson's, Sons of Anarchy, All in the Family, The Addams Family, Flintstones, Jetsons, 80's Saturday Morning Cartoons, Breaking Bad, Californication, Dexter, Six Feet Under, The Walking Dead, True Blood, South Park, The Colbert Report and a few others............

Music? I like too much different music to put it all here. So just ask. But my favorite band is The Ramones!!! One of my other favorite bands is JOY DIVISION!!!! I even have them tattooed on me. But right now I am listening to a lot of Oingo Boingo and Husker Du. Danny Elfman is a GENIUS!!!! Other bands I like but are not limited to are Tears for Fears, Desmond Dekker, Jane's Addiction, The Doors, The Beatles, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, The Who, Devo, Public Enemy, NWA, Fear, Germs, Butthole Surfers, Circle Jerks, Bad Brains, Minor Threat, Iggy Pop, The Stooges, The Cramps, Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, Thompson Twins, Blitz, Anti-Nowhere League, Cock Sparrer, Dirt, Leonard Cohen, Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Nirvana, Husker Du, Dead Boys, Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Damned, Agnostic Front, Murphy's Law, Gorilla Biscuits, 80's NYHC, Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, 80's pop and new wave music and Ray Charles!!! But the list could go on and on............

As much as I love old punk I have become bored with newer punk as it all sounds the same. I don't hear the anger and aggression that made me LOVE punk to begin with anymore as well as it doesn't makes me wanna just jump around and rock out. Lately I have been going back and listening to a lot of 80's music and classic rock. And to me classic rock is 70's rock. Who else agrees? Since I'm getting over my anger stage a lot of punk rock doesn't do it for me anymore unless I'm at a live show. These days I go more for classic rock and 60's rock. The music I grew up on outside of punk rock.

Lately I have begun to wonder why I didn't love Husker Du and Oingo Boingo more when I was younger. When I actually could have seen them!!!

Food? I love Italian food as I come from a very large Italian family. Indian.

Anything else you want to know just ask me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
iPod
movies
my laptop
Star Wars
human contact
good rock-n-roll
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Would Phillip K. Dick fans be called DICKheads?

The vapidity of the human race.

Symbology.

If Adam & Eve were the 1st 2 humans wouldn't that mean the entire human race is inbred?

Why so many people here take everything so seriously?

What the world would be like if dogs breathed fire?

What extra terrestrial porn looks like?

If drinking and driving is illegal then why do bars have parking lots?

Getting a Saturday Morning Cartoons festival going. People around my age HAVE to remember the thrill of getting up early on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons. I want to get DVDs and watch them at the same time they were on when I was a kid.

My billion dollar idea that will help me build an engine that's powered by human stupidity. That way we'll NEVER run out of fuel!!! Hell the state of Texas alone could power us into the next millennium.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
either at a show or at a friends or home watching Netflix or a DVD.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is something that would no longer be private if I admitted it.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 29–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You understood the humor I put into this profile.

You don't mind a night in watching a good movie or TV show as much as going out.

You don't have a laundry list of requirements on your profile for me to respond to in order to message you.

Oh and if you're into Hockey too. Especially a SHARKS fan!!!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/christopher.dipasquale.7

I find the idea of Facebook to be quite absurd so many of my posts there are in that vain. It truly amazes me how serious people take that site.

Right now I am ONLY looking for new friends.