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funnysmartclever

43 Oakland, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 35–60
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:06pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Two-year college
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Italian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was hacked recently and someone put that I was only looking for casual sex. Not the case.

Whatever happened to the great mystery of meeting someone and discovering how much you have in common?

You read things here and get to decide if someone is worth talking to but we all know from real life that looks can and are misleading. Many times I've seen people I never thought I'd like and after a conversation we're good friends or a couple.

Plus since you can't hear tone of voice many things are taken out of context and misinterpreted as rude or too forward.

So I think I'll have some fun and see who has the spine to actually want to talk to me.

WARNING! This profile contains matters of extreme humor, satire and parody! You have been warned!

And just because I have some skeletons in my closet doesn't mean they weren't already dead when I found them.

As you can tell I am extremely sarcastic.

I am blunt and brutally honest. No topic is taboo. Some people cannot handle my level of honesty but I'd rather be hated for being honest than for being a liar.

I'm a transplant from upstate NY. I live in Oakland, CA. My musical tastes are quite eclectic.

I speak my mind at all times. There is nothing I'm afraid to say. If more people spoke their minds the world would be less complicated. Because we'd all know what each other wants. The time spent on subtlety could be better spent doing other things. Like reading a book.

When you ban words you give those words power. They are only offensive because you try to suppress them. Lenny Bruce once said "Its the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence and the viciousness". At one point in time fuck, shit and asshole were considered bad words and now we use them so much they have no power over us. If we use the words we are told are so offensive more often then we will become so desensitized to their use that they will have no effect on us anymore. I keep seeing people complaining of the words people use because they feel offended by them but those words only have that power because people are giving them that power.

"To be what one is by ones own act is freedom" - Soren Kierkegaard

"Its the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence and the viciousness" - Lenny Bruce

"I may not agree with what you have to say but I will defend to my dying breath your right to say it" - Patrick Henry

"There are those that love to start drama while I love to start comedy. I am not a drama king, I am a comedy king. I find humor in everything!!!" - Christopher DiPasquale

"What labels me, negates me." - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"Its a fucked up world in which we live, in order to evolve we must forgive" - Christopher DiPasquale

"The proper office of a friend is to stand behind you when you are in the wrong because anyone will stand behind you when you are in the right" - Samuel Clemons

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
~ Dr. Seuss

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." - Thomas Aquinas

"Love is a drug. When you're on it you want more, more, more and you can't live without it. When you're coming off of it it hits you harder than slamming into a concrete wall at 140 mph. We are all addicts when it comes to love." - Christopher DiPasquale

"Madness is like gravity, all you need is a little push!!!" - Joker

"Anarchy is like Christianity. A lot of well meaning beliefs that will never work out in real life!!!" - Christopher DiPasquale
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Whatever I want!!!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Sarcasm and end all, be all pranks.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
More often lately it's my tattoos.

Otherwise it's the pissed off look on my face despite the fact that my life is pretty good right now and, other than real serious social injustices, I've got nothing to be pissed about. But I'm pretty sure everyone's upset about injustice. Unless you're one of the one's committing it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ask me. Lets rediscover the lost art of conversation and the mystery of discovering each other.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
iPod while riding my bike
Movies
my cat Panther
humor
human contact
good music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Would Phillip K. Dick fans be called DICKheads?

The vapidity of the human race.

Symbology.

If Adam & Eve were the 1st 2 humans wouldn't that mean the entire human race is inbred?

Why so many people here take everything so seriously?

What the world would be like if dogs breathed fire?

What extra terrestrial porn looks like?

If drinking and driving is illegal then why do bars have parking lots?

My billion dollar idea that will help me build an engine that's powered by human stupidity. That way we'll NEVER run out of fuel!!! Hell, the state of Alabama alone could power us into the next millennium.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
not on the International Space Station.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is something that would no longer be private if I admitted it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You understood the humor I put into this.

I find the idea of Facebook to be quite absurd so many of my posts there are in that vain. It truly amazes me how serious people take that site seriously. I only keep it to stay in contact with people when I lose my phone.

Mark Zuckerberg has not revolutionized communication, he's destroyed human contact. The zombie apocalypse has arrived.

And please don't be allergic to cats. I have a cat that I adore and won't get rid of.