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funnyusrname

31 M Oakland, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:52pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Buddhism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
$50,000–$60,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I flew to The Bay Area for a week long vacation about 3 years ago and am still here. All I had was a suitcase full of clothes and $100 in my pocket but it all worked out. I've drove across the country with a hitchhiker I picked up in LA. To relax back home I used to sit by the lake and feed bread to the alligators. When I need a good relaxing day in Cali I go to a park and smoke pot with homeless people. I tend to make a lot of offensive jokes and when I'm drunk prefer to do it loudly and in public. I try to cause debauchery everywhere. Fuck. I don't know what else to say......... Fuck. I probably say "Fuck" too much but oh well, fuck it. If that bothers you then this won't fucking work. I once saw MC Hammer at a stoplight driving a yellow hummer. As the light was about to turn green he finally glanced over towards me and as he did I did "too legit to quit" with my hands. The light turned green he laughed and sped off. As he passed by I saw his license plate which no shit said "MC Humma". I was so amazed at what had just happened that even with the horns from the cars behind me I forgot to hit the gas and had to wait for the next green light. That was a great day.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Winning stuffed animals in claw machines then randomly handing them to strangers.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being clumsy, forgetting things when I leave the house, surviving, making the most out of life, accidentally breaking things, but I'm pretty damn good at fixing things and building things, witty comebacks, driving across country with a hitchhiker I picked up in West Hollywood, taking care of myself, having fun and enjoying life even and especially when life isn't going so good at the moment.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I talk funny because I'm from the south.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Don't really watch much tv besides Workaholics and Law and Order. Shawshank Redemption is probably my favorite movie. Music is a big part of my life. I love all types of rock music from The Rolling Stones to Devildriver. Live music is something I can't live without.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.Ice Cream
2.Music
3.Happiness
4.Live Music
5.Google
6.Laughter
7.Cali green bud
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
John Stamos
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been on Jerry Springer.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to smoke a bowl and/or go to a show.