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funoholic91

27 M Kirkland, WA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:34pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Capricorn
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Congratulations, Seattle! You've just landed the biggest free agent on the market. No...not a Seahawk. Me!

I can't catch a football while being tackled by some 260lb linebacker, but I don't mind getting dirty & rough if the occasion calls for it. You can take me to your parties knowing you're walking in with a charming stud who's more than just a jock with a blazer slapped on. Throw me in the mix of all your friends and have all the guys asking you for my number and all your single girlfriends clamoring to know if I have a brother who's available. And at the end of the day, you can curl up in bed next to me, squeeze me and wonder how you ever lived without me (provided some light snoring every now and then doesn't scare you off).

New to the city, I'm looking for some great company (I won't settle for "good"). Are you intelligent? Do your friends squirt milk out of their noses when you tell a joke? Can you tickle fight with the best of 'em? Does your interests range from everything between a classy night out on the town to spooning up to a man that smells heavenly and pretending to watch Netflix as you steal sniffs? Tired of the only attention you're receiving coming from your cats? For the low, low price of free, you can message this catch. Act Now!

*This offer does not apply to:
Creepers
Any girl who has an empty profile because she thinks her hot, airbrushed picture is enough
Crazies
The first things people usually notice about me
I know what you're staring at and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Where's Waldo?, anything with pictures, coloring books (I like to color outside the lines because I'm unique).

Movies - I'll watch mostly anything, but if you try to take me to a romantic comedy, you better have taken me out to dinner beforehand. You need to wine & dine me a little. It's the least you could do.

Shows - Community, Archer, Game of Thrones, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The League, New Girl, Homeland, Walking Dead, Falling Skies and more!

Food - Everyone knows that the way to a man's heart his through his stomach. So if you try to "cook" me Mac & Cheese, you'll find your stuff on the porch. Consider this your eviction warning.
On a typical Friday night I am
Not stalking that cute, charming guy from OKCupid. Maybe you should try it...
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 26–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
You have a great pickup line to try on me.

Let's be honest: you've read my profile so by now, you're in love with me. Heck, if you have a sense of humor you might already be dreaming of eloping in Vegas and buying a house with a white picket fence. Instead of being one of those weird creepers, just message me.