Well-read geek who knows how to rewire a porch light and cook eggs benedict. Certifiable film junkie. Friendly misanthrope. Curses like a sailor. Likes sitting in the dark watching flickering lights (24 frames per second, bitches), the smell of used bookstores, and cheese. Dislikes drivers who tailgate, people who text message in cinemas and people who constantly use netspeak. Unreasonably turned on by big words, alliteration and true cleverness; I give new meaning to the term "sibilant sapiosexual."
I probably own more books than you. I've probably seen more films than you. I am a Member of the okcupid Cheese Appreciation Society.
I am known to be awesome in at least 14 different ways but I'm far too modest (awesome feature #12) to make such a claim myself. Instead I trick helpless nerds into saying such things on my behalf.
If you need to dispose of a body* I'm the one you want answering that 3am call. Just remember to specify whether it needs to look like an accident, or if there needs to be no trace found.
*Dead hookers automatically become the property of disposer.
** I totally adore CreepyGirl5778 and can not live without her <3
*** Jadedone22 is my biatch and we are in lub lub.
I am blasphemous, misanthropic, and preposterous