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28 Houston, TX Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 6:46pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Working on masters program
Less than $20,000
Seeing Someone
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

**For some time now, I've been dating the lovely AliciaMira. I see in her a strange alchemy of mirth and wonder and putting up with my weird crap. She sees in me a supportive partner to help her on her quest to become more bear than man. It's like magic, only I can talk about it without thinking about David Blaine. Or at least I could until now...

Hey! My name is Paul and I'm a scorpio that enjoys things that everyone else enjoys and can't invent a more creative introduction to my profile. Just kidding. Except about the Scorpio part.

Let's to describe myself. Have you ever heard the song "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour? So have I. It's pretty good.

The name is Paul. But often there is no Paul, only Zul. I'm 24, I work part time and I'm a full time student. I'm currently looking for folks that would enjoy getting together to hang out and enjoy what the city has to offer. I like the internet, but there's just no substitute for going out and making an ass of yourself with your buddies. I am a shameless flatterer. I am a shameless flirt. I am shamelessly many things. I am not without shame, but I wish that I was.

I promise I am not nearly so lame as this profile makes me seem.

I have a theory I call "Scent Layering for People." Dogs have an amazing sense of smell, and when they sniff they can pick smells apart into their component layers. So if there's a dead animal on the side of the road, the dog can smell rot, but it can also smell meat. They don't have the capability of being disgusted by a smell, they merely evaluate the smell and decide based on the components whether or not they want that item in their mouth. To me, people are like smells. If you learn to break people into pieces, their separate attributes both positive and negative, it's much easier to make a good decision about whether or not you want them in your mouth (oh yes, I went there). If you try to take in everything about them, they will inevitably smell like shit.

On a related note, I am not a dog. If you literally smell like shit, I probably won't find you appealing.

I only know one joke. Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin says the the other, "Man, it sure is hot in here." The other muffin replies, "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!" I hope you can live with that joke. My only other options are plagiarizing people funnier than me and Seppuku. I'm leaning toward the latter.

I am a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover, and a sinner.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm currently enrolled at UH-Clear Lake pursuing my Master's in Clinical Psychology. Applying to doctoral programs and good old fashioned 9-5ers with reckless abandon.

In my free time I work weekends at a psychiatric facility, troll Facebook, initiate inordinately complex household projects with results in mundane and uninteresting artifacts, watch Desperate Housewives, and withhold affection from my dog so it will become a precious resource to her. Just kidding. That would be weird and mean.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm told I have an incredible memory. I forget who said it, though.

Coming up with more interesting dialogue for the people on TV when it's on mute.

Making animals like me without even trying (I think they sense my above-normal body heat). I've also been told that I must have a bachelor's in being cozy.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My snazzy velvet blazer.

My "Fascinated" face.

Hell, I dunno.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
What Are You Up To, Naked Chicken?

I hate the idea of having to itemize my interests. It always falls one of two ways. Either I hew it down to a short, manageable list and leave out a number of things I feel are noteworthy, or I make a complete list that absolutely nobody (myself included) will want to suffer through. Here, though, are some highlights.

Books: Everything by Cormac McCarthy (by the way, The Road was a fucking fantastic movie), Charles Simic, Kurt Vonnegut, Philip Roth (The Breast was BRILLIANT), and William Faulkner, Donald Barthelme, Clockwork Orange, The Carpet Makers, Harry Potter (my dirty little secret).

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Soylent Green, all Stanley Kubrick flicks, Tim Burton movies, Dogma.

TV Shows: Family Guy, South Park, Futurama, and Boondocks.

Music: Johnny Cash, Prince, Tool, APC, Cake, The Decemberists, Daft Punk, Butthole Surfers, Disturbed, SOAD, Lacuna Coil, STP, Nirvana, Incubus, Necessary Response

If you fully understand the music of Primus, then you will understand me about as well as one can.

Food: Chewy Chips Ahoy
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Filtered water
2. the Internet
3. intellectual stimulation
4. Chewy Chips Ahoy
5. Good tunes
6. a good book
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
You know those ducks in the pond at the park? Where do they go when the pond freezes over?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The more and more I exercise my Bokononism, the more I become convinced of the truth of the saying "Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God." Or Zeus, or Odin, or Asmodeus, as you prefer.

The point is, I tend to have more fun at whatever fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants scheme that unfolds that I do with planned activities. This can be as simple as a trip to Super Target for argyle socks and a coffee pot, or as complex as dashing over to Baytown for a free Blue Oyster Cult concert. Just toss something out there, and chances are after we're done we'll both be saying "Not bad for something we made up as we went along."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am irked by the broad definitions of the term "casual sex." I take it to mean sex that does not require romantic feelings, but that definition would encompass FWB relationships, random hookups, and quite a lot of sex had by people who have been married for years. These are not the same.

Most people will say that they're an open book, just ask and you shall know. This is certainly accurate of me, and as such I don't answer match questions privately.

Most people will tell you to just ask them, that they won't bite. I do bite. I'll love you forever if you bite back.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
"Can you show me dear,
Something I've not seen?
Something Infinitely interesting..."

If you can guess what movie my username comes from you can come to my house and watch it with me. Come on, I'll make you popcorn!