It's sad that I have to write this. The following is an attempt to be funny. No. I am not insane.
Things I might tell you on a first date:
1. Are those real?
2. May I touch your eyeballs?
3. The voices in my head tell me to make you mine.
4. My psychiatrist said this was an important first step.
5. Do you like rats?
6. Do you see any blood on me? err.. I mean ketchup?
7. Don't worry, I've taken my meds
8. are you.. really... a girl?
9. Wait, let me get out my bible.
10. You look just like my mom.
11. You look just like all my other Exs.
12. How do you feel about vampires?
13. I need this done by 9. I have a raid.
14. I'm a republicrat.
15. You're so lucky to have met me.
16. Im too smart for Mensa.
17. Before this goes anywhere, can I examine your feet?
18. I bleed rainbows.
19. So, Uhmmm...
20. Wow, Im so into the goth thing.
21. May I have a skin sample?
22. Ever date a felon?
23. Muhahahaha! Now, you're MINE!
24. I have the "Dirty Jobs" logo tattooed on my bicep.
25. Are you paying?
26. How much?
27. Can I take a picture.. of the back of your head.
28. The feds are watching us.
29. Don't panic. Everything's going to be fine.
30. Ewww.. this place is just crawling with germs.
31. Is that a wig?
32. GOOOOODDD MOOORNINNNGGG VIIEEETTNNAAMMM!!!!
33. LEEEEERRRRRROOOOOYYYYY JJJJJEEEEEEENNNKKIIINNNSSS!
34. They don't understand me, they've never understood me.
35. Just ignore my friends over there.
36. Do you mind if my grandma sits with us?
37. Damn hemorrhoids..
38. I will cherish this moment for the rest of my.. what no beer?
39. Wow. You're ... old.
40. I've taken levitra. 3 of them.
41. It's ok. I dig women with big noses.
42. They call me, the "Macho Muchacho"
43. I am Havier ignacio hector geraldo juan de la cuchilla, your hot latin elbeefo!
44. People fear my intellect.
46. Whats up girl? You look marvelous!
48. I have 11 kids.
49. You look too fragile. I don't know about this.
50. If some guys in black suits walk in.. duck under the table.
51. Love is a disease.
52. I brought my sugar gliders with me. Wanna see.
53. I'm a regular poster to fmylife.com
54. In WW2 I was a....
55. I invented the term 420. Now everyone uses it.
56. I hope your not one of THEM!
57. Excellent. My evil plan is almost complete. Muhahah.
58. Ever snort wd40?
59. Lets go blow stuff up.
60. I have the death sentence on 12 systems.
61. Come to the dark side... **Heavy breathing noises**
62. Wanna see me squirt coke out of my eye?
63. I just got my chest hair permed.
64. I don't bite.. hard. Unless your into that kind of thing? are you?
65. I've been depressed all week.. you see.. my goldfish died.. her name was Julie..
66. come on barbie let's go party
67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
68. you chaw tobaccuh?
69. I'm the kind of demon your preacher warned you about..
70. You look like Anita-chan! Anita-Chan is soooooo kawaii!
71. We should have grandkids by now.
72. Who are you again?
73. I run for mayor every year.
74. Wow. You actually agreed to go out. I never thought it would happen..
75. You don't look so well...
76. Let my brilliant beaming rainbows of pristine psychic energy cleanse your diseased chakras!
77. Let's go to the lobster fights down by the river after this..
78. Let me check your radiation levels.
79. I have a level 85 warlock on...
80. I am Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia , are you the gatekeeper?
81. I collect spores, molds, and fungi.
82. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!
83. Wait. Let me post about this on facebook!
84. I usually only date porn stars...
85. Oooo I like freckles.
86. Why, WHY are you STARING at me!
87. I should have been born in the 40's
88. I miss watching "Fantasy Island" You know.. I have a tatoo T--Shirt.
89. You have a.. uhmm thing on your face.. EWW EWW EWW get it off!
90. Eeew you eat that stuff?
91. This thing attached to my ankle is a tracking device..
92. I record all my dates... I hope you don't mind.
93. My all time hero is Groucho Marx
94. Yo yo yo Babe alert! babe alert!
95. The voices told me to give you this flower.
96. Do you believe in alien mind control?
97. I shaved my ear hair just for you!
98. Uh. I'm uhhh. well it's like this.. I am.. you see.. oh dear...
99. I used to do steriods...
100. I have 100 ways to freak you out.. but i'm trying my best not to..
Artist, video producer, 3d artist, print artist, in Memphis.
Floyd Yancey on facebook. Look for Memphis..
Things about me:
I'm unusual, in a good way.
My parents are dead.
I'm an Apple computer Certified tech. A Plus and MCP and cisco Certified as well
All around Mr. Fixit. A mind like Sherlock Holmes. Inventor of things.
I love sushi, italian food, chinese. I love cold weather.. the beach..
Weird unusual humor, odd places.
I'm pretty brash and to the point. I don't like to waste time.
There are a lot of fake people on here, and I tend to see through BS quickly.
I test every girl I chat with to see if we are compatible. If you're thin skinned, prudish,
too reserved, You'll get pissed off at me in the first few minutes.
If you can roll with the punches. You might find that I might be the perfect person for you.
I can't deal with trying to walk on eggshells around people. I'm sorry.