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gammonwalker

30 M Brentwood, TN

My Details

Last Online
Apr 14
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
***TL;DR
I'm here to meet cool new people. If by chance we share a mutual affection, that's even better! I'm not going to be the guy to project absurd expectations on you. ;p

I do art for a living. To verify that my career extends beyond napkin drawings at Ruby Tuesday, you can check some of my portfolio here!

http://gammonwalker.tumblr.com/tagged/gammon

If you'd like, you can read moreee below!

***MY EXCEEDINGLY SUPERFLUOUS PROFILE
My name's Chad Walker and I'm an artist. I do illustrations in Photoshop, preferably for money. I like to make bad decisions and use that money on shoes, and even worse, shoes with sequins on them. Fuschia is my favorite color. I’m embarrassingly honest. Within the next couple of paragraphs, I’m going to explain to you why we should have dinner.

I'm a very sane individual and feel that to be pretty important. I'm proud to say that I won't be saving pieces of your hair or telling you to put lotion on your skin. If this isn't what you hoped for, then I have a consolation poster of a very hungry looking Anthony Hopkins to give you.

I do my best to stay self-aware and external view-points are very interesting to me. That said, I mostly enjoy well observed critical opinions.

I'm very analytical about things and don’t have brash emotional reactions. If you forget to wear matching accessories I won't knock you down a well.

I like humor that plays on logic or conventions; but I also like things that appeal to my perpetually regressed child-brain. You tell me an embarrassing story, I'll shake your hand. You tell me a wonderful story of irrevocable shame, I'll buy you a dress (not really).

Art, music, games and movies; they're great. Anything with a modicum of art in it, I'll be interested. I love pickin’ up new music and am pretty knowledgeable about modern Japanese rock and jazz. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT, or at the very least make fun of Chris Brown's, "Wet The Bed." (skip to the "I spend a lot of time thinking about" section for more info)

Have you heard the lyrics to that song? Have you really? If you have and liked it, not ironically, I recommend you the works of Limp Bizkit. Their music is quite lovely.

It's very important to me to be able to understand things you like, especially things you don't like. I believe that attempting to understand how you feel about something lets you better understand yourself. Without keen observation of that, why should anyone else care to understand you?

I used “understand” four times in that previous paragraph. Redundancy bothers me, but I’m in a very “Fuck English” mood right now.

If you talk to me on the internet, I’ll often misspell stuff. I apologize in advance for when I ruin the art of language, 'coz sometimes I just don’t care 'bout formality. I mean proper grammar is cool, the DJ better stop the turntables when I correct myself on to vs. too, but I try and bring as much of my real personality into convos as possible.

Sorry Tolstoy, I haven't learned a damn thing.

I'm not big on inhibitions. I'll usually just come out and say some wild shit. While certain pacing is involved with talking to people, I believe that it's best to just be open and let people know you for who you are. Keepin' components of your personality "TBA" is absurd to me. That sort of thing only leads to problems later, when social interaction becomes more about barriers and acceptance than just being honest and true.

A lot of what I'm going to say, following this, will sound somewhat arrogant. It is to an extent. However, I do maintain an open mind and have respect for those of contrasting interests. So I'm not going to flat-out shun anyone for differing beliefs or ideals. I try very hard to understand everyone for who they are.

I'm not a fan of overly zealous members of any religious group. I think it's perfectly fine to have beliefs of the supernatural, but once it starts affecting your corporeal lifestyle and your state of mind it becomes a problem. The most real thing in this world is your perception of it. Religion taints and distorts that, often to negative effect, promoting prejudice of varying degrees. Remaining faithful to an intangible figure can also create an inhibiting lifestyle I don't appreciate. The morals within religious works can be nice, and I concur that rape and murder are not savory.

THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP BIBLE!

Also doing hard drugs is terribly lame. I have a similar opinion on drugs as I do with religion. It affects the only real tie between you and this world, your mind. I believe every person has the capability to experience a full range of emotions without the aid of supplemental substances. If you don't believe that, that is a weakness of mind and character.

Yeh, that kind of reads like, “fuck you,” doesn't it?

I also really like cannolis, eclairs, creme-brule, and custard donuts. Basically stuff filled with cream, don't read into it.

Hopefully that is enough superficial information to fill you in. If not, send me a PM and I’ll answer everything TMI style.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to better myself as an artist and deliver content that will bring joy to those who look at it! However, I will currently draw anything for money, because that stuff is good.

You can check out my art here!
http://gammonwalker.tumblr.com/tagged/gammon
I’m really good at
-I'd like to think I'm good at art.
-Making the worst faces.
-Providing advice regarding emotional conflict.
-Playing Street Fighter 4. I sometimes go to tournaments. I'll beat your ass.
-Lying to my parole officer.
-Making you question whether or not I have a parole officer.
-Naming animals, ex. “Shatwise Brownsworth” and "Jeep Grand Cherokee"
The first things people usually notice about me
Though a lot of people comment on my sense of humor or shoes.

Someone once said I had a, "vibrant personality and style."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS:
Lolita, and anything by Tolstoy.

MOVIES:
Rosemary's Baby, The Thing, The Orphanage, Children of Men, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Jacob's Ladder, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Airplane, Brazil, Die Hard, Leon: The Professional, Akira, Mind Game, The Fifth Element, Videodrome, Lethal Weapon, Robocop

SHOWS:
Breaking Bad, Dexter, Arrested Development, Community, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Serial Experiments Lain, Key: The Metal Idol, Cowboy Bebop, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

MUSIC:
Al Di Meola, Big Big Train, Niki & The Dove, toe, the band apart, Phyllis Hyman, Scoobie Do, Jazztronik, susquatch, Tokyo Jihen, Animals As Leaders, Bad Rabbits, Jamiroquai, Basement Jaxx, Patrice Rushen, Breakbot, Miami Horror, Casiopea, Jimsaku, DIMENSION, Prism, Super Butter Dog, Moloko, Jaga Jazzist, Incubus, Primus, Frontier Backyard, Bajofondo Tango Club, France Joli, Chaz Jankel, Steely Dan, THE JERRY LEE PHANTOM, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stanley Jordan, Bo Kaspers Orkester, Djavan, Calcius Repton, Keenhouse, Michael Jackson, JABBERLOOP, Prince, Recloose, Crazy Penis, Simian Mobile Disco, Deerhoof, Lettuce, Cornelius, Reel People, Calvin Harris, Sam Sparro, DJ Deckstream, Ronnie Laws, Jazzanova, Corduroy, Mew, Roisin Murphy, Polvo, Anita Baker, Nona Reeves, Mr. Bungle, The McCrarys, Heatwave, Loquat, boa (the UK one), Ling Tosite Sigure, Angélique Kidjo, Phat Phunktion, King Crimson, Kool & The Gang, Earth Wind and Fire, Kirinji, John Scofield, Hall & Oates, grooveline, George Duke, George Clinton, The Brothers Johnson, Big Moves, As Tall As Lions, The National Bank, Kurt Elling
The six things I could never do without
Art, music, movies, love, DESSERTS, Street Fighter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The lyrics to Chris Brown's, "Wet the Bed."
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_ljNRC8qqM)

So this cat here writes a full song about how spectacular he is at making women squirt, and just as masterfully demonstrates why no one bothered to write one before.

The moment he starts singing, he's already skipped all the foreplay; he's alluded to the imminent danger that he may drown in your bodily fluids. Presuming, that in the presence of his talents, you're going to let him "deep up in your ocean."

Let's observe that euphemism. The "ocean"? Did Chris Brown just tell you, your pussy is comparable to the ocean? That's one big ass vagina Chris, let's try harder to sound flattering.

Under the assumption he went for the obvious, and meant that you're going to be wet like the ocean, who is gonna relate to this? Nobody wants to own up to an ocean wet pussy. That just sounds like a symptom to a dangerously messy condition. You wouldn't even see that subtitle on Jerry Springer, "MY PUSSY SO WET, MY BOYFRIEND CHOKED ON IT (HE'S A LIFEGUARD)."

After some time, the chorus finally delivers, "Yeah, girl, you heard what I said. I'm gonna make you wet the bed." For those of you who bought their mattress full price from Sears, my bets are on, "no." Also, why recall the only relevant imagery of "wetting the bed," pissing the sheets, when talking about sex? This is like some reverse R. Kelly shit.

Some filler lyrics pass, so bad they'd make Hot Pockets sick; Ludacris then jumps in to posit that someone has "sprung a leak," and needs "the plumber," as if plumbing has ever been remotely appealing. He should've put in the extra work and wrote a verse about clogging your disposal.

Eventually he gets confused after rapping too fast and mixes his metaphors, "Women call me the Super Soaker, and I'mma soak your bed to death." I'm sure he meant well, and just wanted to go public with his professional "plumbing" services, but he said the "Super Soaker."

The Super Soaker has and always will be a device that you grip at the shaft and manually spray fluid from the tip, kinda like a penis. So, this man here is gonna personally, "soak your bed to death." Sure.

I'm going to advise you not invite this guy over if you take pride in your carpet; you'll regret it.

The song then continues to drone on until it reaches a superfluous 4 minutes and 28 seconds. I ask myself, if songs are typically a microcosm of an event or life, how long has this been going on for to reach 4 fuckin' minutes and 28 seconds song time of you getting wet/squirting?

Convert this song to dog years, this has probably been going on for 12 hours; and if Chris Brown is half as good as he claims to be, you better hope you stayed away from the hardwood floors, 'cuz that shit is ruined.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I also think about the value of making individuals happy, instead of "how to save the world."

How music is often used for "character posturing," selecting music that people will overhear you listening to, to give you a more agreeable persona. (example: listening to classical to make you seem smart, rap because it makes you seem tough and urban, or not listening to Spice Girls because it will make you look "gay.")

How people aren't able to identify objective qualities about art or music, and instead try and validate personal opinions.

The power of arrogance.

How first year art students love to call people out on "tangents."

People's unwillingness to accept being imperfect and wrong.

The value of accomplishment over immediate satisfaction.

How being overly complacent with your life or abilities can lead to stagnation and delusions of grandeur.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I love singing to Chaka Khan and Prince.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you've got a dynamic personality and have a brain in operable condition. I'm afraid I'm a man of impossible demands.