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26 Wellington, New Zealand Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–32
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Today – 4:54pm
5′ 8″ (1.72m)
Body type
Working on university
English (Fluently), French (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
i'm not in new zealand from the 6th of november till at least \i like studying politics, languages and religion so that's what I'm doing at the moment (if you let me shout at you about france's headscarf ban we will be best friends xoxo) one day i'd like work as an interpreter, ideally for the un - whenever i read conspiracy theories, it seems like a totally awesome job. (i'm particularly fond of the left behind series' take on it; i'd love to work for the antichrist if he's even one tenth as cool as nicolae carpathia [minus the killing people who annoy him part, that part sucks]).

but, y'know, if the translation thing doesn't work out, i'll probably become a professional quiz show contestant. i've already won "who wants to be a millionaire?" at least twice in my head.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
buying expensive shoes, translating a lil bit of stuff (most recently: masonic rituals from 17th century france, les luttes des putes), studying modern languages, getting furious about's continued existence, lifting not-heavy things in the hopes of one day being able to lift heavy things.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
getting creepy and/or incomprehensible messages on dating websites. having opinions. being really really funny on facebook. being moderately funny on twitter. being wilfully terrible on dating sites. eating.

i'm really bad at: pool. pub quizzes. phones. photos. pull-ups. other things starting with p, probably.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
the best comment i have ever received about my appearance is: "you look like ashlee simpson when she looked human."

the best comment i have ever received about my personality is: "you're kind of smart... for a girl."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
if you like the things i like maybe you will like me!!!

if you hate the things i hate we will definitely get on!!!!

this is the only section of my profile i update regularly because i'm lazy

books: non-fiction about genocide, explorers and sex work, british novels written in heavily stylised prose (londonstani!, incendiary, pigeon english), and comics for children who speak french.

right now i am reading: the secret history, donna tartt; les luttes des putes by thierry schaffauser; i am a very undisciplined reader and usually have several books lying around at once.

films: romantic comedies in foreign languages (that way they're intellectual, see?), comedy zombie movies, don bluth animated classix. my brother the devil might be the best movie i've ever seen.

recently, i watched: gone girl.

tv: les revenants. if you spend more than ten minutes in my presence i will probably bore you to death by talking about this show.

secret diary of a call girl, party down, grandma's house, brooklyn nine-nine, broad city, hannibal, all the predictable choices really. i watch a lot of police procedurals because i like being mad.

music: i like dad rock (the who, rolling stones, hair metal), arty girl-pop (pref in the format [woman's name] and the [noun/s], ex. marina and the diamonds, rosie and the goldbug), obnoxious hypersexual rap (2 live crew, spank rock), """alternative""" country (deadstring brothers, old 97s), and stuff that people cooler than me stopped liking, like, two years ago.

recently, i've been listening to: beyoncé, obviously. one direction (you read that right), kyla la grange, kitten, bloc party, the 1975, the stones. also a bunch of globalfaction-type stuff (okay yeah mostly lowkey and akala) - talk to me about that!

i would put youtubes in but who clicks on those, really?

food: feijoas and granny smith apples and other green fruit. chocolate. chocolate with green fruit in it. v.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
i live off self-righteous indignation and v.

everything else i can do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
sex workers' rights and labour issues; islamophobia (primarily in europe [france in particular]). i could probably natter on about either of these things for hours.

what else? a bunch of crap related to our conceptions of terrorism (i wish talal asad was my friend!). reinhold messner and peter habeler. ron paul jokes even though it's 2014. feminism (this is a v. broad categorisation, whatever, i'm lazy). whether it's fair to describe myself as fluent in french (probably not, but i have an okay accent and it confuses people). am i actually just really stupid and everyone is humouring me (probably!). a jumble of neurotic 20-something leftwing girl whitenoise.

bonus: the fact that osama bin laden played volleyball, apparently with great enthusiasm and a surprising amount of skill. tell people this fact at parties to get them to stop talking to you.

bonus bonus: making sure my okc is as insufferable as i am.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
getting drunk and talking about politics'n'shit / sleeping / being a spiteful and vindictive bitch / playing the sims / reading bad wikipedia articles / painting my nails / lifting / watching whatever late night bad crime shows are on and getting mad at everything in them. sometimes several of these at once.

when new zealand's next top model was on, watching that, yelling at the tv. without fail. is that ever coming back. god, i hope so.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i'm not ashamed to admit this is the funniest thing i've ever seen (not work safe) :

You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
personally i wouldn't recommend it.

*unless you want to talk with me about gone girl. let's talk about gone girl.