I have a life full of people I love, personal goals, and interests. I have a spiritual element to my life more tied up in production of art, music and lifestyle than anything. I'm also very practical and rational when I need to be-
I am an evolving being, who is open to new ideas. I am interested in people, what they have to say, what they can offer and what I can offer them. I am open to all sorts of relationships, from the meaningless to the most meaningful. I can be a deep thinker at times, but remain playful, charismatic and interested in my demeanor.
I am active, intuitive, sexual and in tune with serendipity, which is to say I am always on the lookout for the markers/ moments I can give meaning to. I tend to run with these.
-someone wrote to me and questioned a comment i had made about "looking for people who were over being defined by a scene" perhaps they took offence, became defensive, or perhaps they were simply interested in what I thought. either way here is my response - I got the feeling I was writing this to myself more than anything but anyway..... I thought Id share it with anyone who may be interested
" I 'KNOW' for a fact what the problem with our society is. Knowing what this problem is, and having been a part of said society all my life gives me an opportunity to either a) continue being unhappy whilst all my hopes and dreams, passed down to me from generations of humans taught to look outside themselves for happiness, continue to disappoint me - "whats next ? become bigger / make more friends / do well in school / beat others / rise to the top / get a job/ a better job/ a better car/ a girlfriend a better girlfriend / more money etc etc - all these things are outside 'yourself'
b) look at the facts - I am not entitled to anything in particular .... I am born with a body that works when I breathe, add fuel , thinks and experiences. If I continue to pay attentiion to what my body/ mind experiences I truly live - That is the most that we can hope to accomplish in a life - to truly live.... if i live and i'm attentive to my self .... and I am still unhappy .... I can focus on whats making me unhappy because I am 'aware' of whats making me so - then it is up to me to make myself happy
Believing/knowing this does however exclude me from the possibility of being blissfully unaware of the problem or that I am a part of it (however common this condition might be)
in case you're thinking of asking - This has nothing to do with God or anything like that. I am happy because I have become aware that I am the only person that can make me so.
I dont run away from anything unless its chasing me or it'll do me harm
Your self is always important - if its lost importance its because one has travelelled too far from it and its lost in the fog of a modern existence we don't need
I wake up every morning and Im a day older.... a day surer of myself .... a day further from the fear that I don't have 'enough'.
Nothing forces you to stay in a shitty job, a shitty relationship, or give up and be come entrapped - children can be a burden or a blessing. People can enrich us or drain us.
Still mostly I believe what you give out from your self comes back to you.... if its acceptance, empathy , compassion, love that is what will come back..... if you are negative , youve given up and you dont want to find yourself under all the @#$% then thats what people will see and they wont be interested and noone will invest anything good in you and you surround yourself with #$%^ - That's speaking from experience "