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29 Short Hills, NJ Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-29
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:56pm
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Average build
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Post grad
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat), Hindi (Somewhat), Sign Language (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was a wee little munchkin, I used to love the window seat. Unfortunately, I had to pee in the middle of the in-flight meal...EVERYTIME. Murphy's Law? Too much soda? Somewhere along the line, I realized that instead of stepping all over everyone to get out, it was far more convenient to occupy the aisle seat. Now I love aisle seats.

Also, I like to eat my ice cream with a flimsy plastic spoon whenever possible so it doesn't end as quickly.

IxTP for those that care about such frivolities, although most would never guess the "I" upon first meeting me.

I moved from Boston, so I'm a little bit more of an a$$hole than south-of-the-Mason-Dixon is used to, but I'm still the sweetest guy east of the Mississippi...I swear!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Reading about the lawl.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My spleen.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Brave New World. Self-Reliance. The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales.
The Bone Collector. Jumanji. TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze.
Suits. Californication. Breaking Bad. Burn Notice. The Boondocks.
Gareth Emery. Gabriel & Dresden. Infected Mushroom. Pink Floyd.
Enchiladas all day.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Oh, you know: heroin, lost (forcibly removed?) clothing on the streets, gunshots to the, I guess the Baltihood's got it covered.


My 5 speakers and my subwoofer. So I can listen to atrociously loud trance music until my brain evacuates my skull in sheer panic.

Or just 6 alarm clocks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to jaywalk more efficiently.

Why there are so many girls on here with "taco" in their username...?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drowning my first world pains in alcohol.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1. I eat with the etiquette of a wild boar.

2. I still add chocolate syrup to my milk whenever possible.

3. I'm afraid of heights. Yeah, even I've got my kryptonite.

4. I hate ferris wheels. (see #3)

Also, I recently bought myself a beautifully iced cookie cake on impulse at the grocery store. Not sure why, but this has got to be an embarrassment on some level.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. want to partake in some cool shenanigans with me in either Balt or DC this autumn!

Also, if you know how to laugh at yourself at least once in a while and think you can handle me in my finest moments of debauchery. If you want to learn how to jaywalk with style too, or want to get your a$$ handed to you in Mario Kart (ANYVERSION). I'm kind of nasty at it. Additionally, if you have a pet. I want to play with it. Animals love me.

Step into my world.

Yours truly,