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28 M Baltimore, MD

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:52am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Working on law school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Hindi (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly)

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My self-summary
When I was a wee little munchkin, I used to love the window seat. Unfortunately, I had to pee in the middle of the in-flight meal...EVERYTIME. Murphy's Law? Too much soda? Somewhere along the line, I realized that instead of stepping all over everyone to get out, it was far more convenient to occupy the aisle seat. Now I love aisle seats.

Also, I like to eat my ice cream with a flimsy plastic spoon whenever possible so it doesn't end as quickly.

IxTP for those that care about such frivolities, although most would never guess the "I" upon first meeting me.

I moved from Boston, so I'm a little bit more of an a$$hole than south-of-the-Mason-Dixon is used to, but I'm still the sweetest guy east of the Mississippi...I swear!
What I’m doing with my life
Reading about the lawl.
The first things people usually notice about me
I can do crazy things with numbers.

Also, my spleen.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Brave New World. Self-Reliance. The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales.
The Bone Collector. Jumanji. TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze.
Suits. Californication. Breaking Bad. Burn Notice. The Boondocks.
Gareth Emery. Gabriel & Dresden. Infected Mushroom. Pink Floyd.
Enchiladas all day.
The six things I could never do without
Oh, you know: heroin, lost (forcibly removed?) clothing on the streets, gunshots to the, I guess the Baltihood's got it covered.


My 5 speakers and my subwoofer. So I can listen to atrociously loud trance music until my brain evacuates my skull in sheer panic.

Or just 6 alarm clocks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to jaywalk more efficiently.

Why there are so many girls on here with "taco" in their username...?
On a typical Friday night I am
Drowning my first world pains in alcohol.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
1. I eat with the etiquette of a wild boar.

2. I still add chocolate syrup to my milk whenever possible.

3. I'm afraid of heights. Yeah, even I've got my kryptonite.

4. I hate ferris wheels. (see #3)

Also, I recently bought myself a beautifully iced cookie cake on impulse at the grocery store. Not sure why, but this has got to be an embarrassment on some level.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if want to partake in some cool shenanigans with me in either Balt or DC this autumn!

Also, if you know how to laugh at yourself at least once in a while and think you can handle me in my finest moments of debauchery. If you want to learn how to jaywalk with style too, or want to get your a$$ handed to you in Mario Kart (ANYVERSION). I'm kind of nasty at it. Additionally, if you have a pet. I want to play with it. Animals love me.

Step into my world.

Yours truly,