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31 F Phoenix, AZ

My Details

Last Online
Aug 3, 2012
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Not at all
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of high school
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
English (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
HEY, FYI. [9-9-10]
this account has been pretty inactive for the past few years. (facebook is where it's at anyway) every few months i log in to check my messages and have myself a good lol. honestly, you probably won't get any kind of reply from me unless i'm greatly impressed with your sick words. if you're not too clever i'll save you some time here and answer all the usual questions i get..
no, i'm not single. i wasn't when i signed up here, and i'm not now. this whole thing was kind of a just for funzies and to see what kinda sick fucks would write me and lol about it.
yes, i know my boobs are huge. yes, they're real.
no, this wasn't written as a joke account. every word here was an exact copy and paste from my vintage myspace account. though i wrote these words at least 6-7 years ago, i'm sure they all still apply. few things have changed since. i got divorced, happily remarried, moved cross country and back, went into a coma, and caught the diabetes (type 1, not the fat ass geriatric kind). um, i digress...
yes, i am awesome. yes, my profile is pretty interesting. i get it. thx.
i'm never here long enough to chat.
no, i don't want your number, and no, i don't want to add you on whatever messenger.
this website has drastically changed since i joined. i haven't poked around enough to figure out all this new bullshit, and i don't really care to. so i have no clue what all this winking and poking and quick match shite is. so uhh, if there's some sort of response to that you're waiting for, don't hold your breath.
on second thought, hold your breath.

i am a pansexual, anorexic supermodel with a muscle car and a machine gun collection. drug free. alcohol free. caffeine free. nicotine overdose frvr. i think that whatever genitals a person has doesnt define their gender or sexuality. i sleep alot. im lazy. i have big boobs because im a big fat fatty. i have a ton of ocd's. people that know me well either adore me or absolutely fucking hate me. its one extreme or nothing at all. most people tell me i seem really intimidating when first meeting me. im not really sure why that is. i think i just have a permanent smelling shit look. ive also been told i have some kind of "mysteriousness" about me. i somehow draw people in because i keep then curious. but i have yet to find someone that can totally read me.. so maybe i am captain mysterious. im really blunt and i guess that comes off as rude. so i guess im rude too. if someone has some kind of horribly disfiguring scar or a missing limb im usually the first one to ask the 411 on it. if someone is bullshitting with me about something stupid or something that doesnt interest me at all i wont hesitate to tell them theyre a total douche bag. im O+ and im deathly allergic to penicillin. i have a horrible.. maybe even slightly unhealthy obsession with daryl palumbo. ill hold a grudge till the day i die. it really takes a lot to piss me off and i rarely get offended, so if you can manage to accomplish that. good job, but ill sure as fuck make it my life goal to let you know just how much i fucking hate you. im not affectionate at all. and i fucking cant stand p.d.a. im donating my body to gunther von hagens when i die. and i will forever be plasticized. im a kennedy. like a j.f.k. kennedy. troo story. i like to smack food out of peoples hands when theyre eating. i really like gapped/ chipped/ crooked teeth. not like tweeker my teeth are already so fucked and i was eating a sun flower seed and my teeth just fell apart chipped teeth. but just like... like jim carey in dumb and dumber chipped tooth. i like beauty marks and moles too. i find small stupid things or things that wouldnt normaly be concidered attractive by todays stardards attractive. i have never seen any of the harry potter or lord of the rings movies. and id like to keep it that way. i cant spell for shit and i refuse to use spell check. i probably misuse punctuation too. but i sure do like periods. not the girl kind. but the punctuation kind. im a drop out. if i were to ever be cursed with a child i would name it Bazooka Joe. if it were a girl i would hollow it out and stuff it with cocaine then sell it on the black market. im horribly addicted to nasal spray. im a jew and i prefer onion bagels to plain bagels. im not ticklish. i pee in the shower, but when i hear someone blowing their nose in the shower i want to vomit. i have a huge forehead. i smoke way too much. i hate sports and cars and sports cars. and when i see a guy driving a biotch car like a new vw bug, miata or a pt crusier it makes me wish i had a huge throbbing black cack so i could impale their soft pink pussies. jesus christ. you have big hairy, sweaty balls. fucking drive a vehicle that lets people know that. something loud and uncomfortable. something with balls. the smell of hot, wet pavement makes me want to vomit. that smell is by far the worst smell. ever. i listen to faggot music that all the middle school kids jam to. the sound of ventalation fans like in bathrooms and above the stove. that sound is the worst sound. ever. i have stupid tattoos that no one gets. then i explain them and they look at me like im a fucking moron. i like diamonds and fake plastic finger nails because i am vain. i really do believe that having your hair washed by someone is the best feeling. ever. better than sex even. im a procrastinator and an extreme conformist. i never change anything. ever. it scares me. im extremly selfless and im not really sure if thats good or bad. i push shit off even if its quite important because i dont like to deal with anything. i watch a lot of tv and stupid dvd's and eat mcdonalds because im american. i dont really like people and im not very friendly. i make fun of retards and when i see parents on the news that go to jail for beating their kids or locking them in a closet for months or leaving them in the car with the windows up in the summer i laugh. im the coolest kid youll ever know. if youre lucky enough. true fucking story. im pretty fucking funny, or atleast i think i am. i waste money on things i dont really need like eyebrow pencils instead of just letting them grow cuz im the fucking bossa nova. im incredibly sarcastic by nature. if you couldnt already tell. im not interested in chatting or becoming your female skin suit unless i tell you otherwise. ive already made the mistake of being nice and "hanging out" with a myspace kid. within the first 10 minutes of meeting him he almost got me killed. then he jerked off in my bathroom. no fucking thanks. so if youre one of those types dont bother.

i r like things...

ghey e-speak irl. teh faries krew. daryl omg palumbo. camel lights. spaniards named joe. mark ryden is god. belladonna. katja kassin. gunther von hagens. lead singers. scars. coconut coke. germans. graffiti. east coast boys. la trash. euro trash. paraphilias. eye liner. stars. blythe. wet vinyl. sleep. grotesque burlesque. mix-tape murder. robot love. germany. b-boys and b-girls. frotteurism. fat girls. rubber. dv. da. dp. smut. stretch marks. porn. catholic icons and art. inverted nipples. nicotine stained fake nails. vicks sinus nasal spray. diamonds. shiny/fuzzy things. pirates. cheese cake... not the food. scoptophilia. mayonnaise/ranch shakes. antacids. dead babies. roller disco. faggots. transexuals. transvestites. pre op and post op. queens. cannibalism. androgyny. pvc. dry humping. side boob. autoerotic asphyxiation. lung butter. tampons. amanda lepore. martianmallow bonnie bell chap stick. flat irons. chicks with dicks. scummy bars. polyamory. long c-walks on the beach. necrophilia. tupperware parties. food high in carbs. stripes. circus animal cookies.. you know the pink and white ones. stigmatophilia. hip/collar bones. ocd. black eyeshadow. beautiful disasters. my vagina. vanilla flavored lube. boat necks. pearl necklaces. troilism. shaving off your eyebrows and drawing them on. chicken strips with lots of ranch. tylenol sinus pms. rat rods. fag hags. latex. black and white. glitter. haberdashery. pedicures. pin-ups. sailors. anal beads. my tattoos and not yours. salirophilia. hair dye. long sleeves that are too long. heroin chick. eating disorders. golden showers. strippers that look pregnant. iv's. boobs. birth control. scabs. nail polish. and Annalisa Jade McSexface.

I am japXcore, morbeseXcore, and horkXcore
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
this is pretty much it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my zombie eyes. or how translucent my skin is. or my sick bitch tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books: gayXcore.

movies: my ass is haunted. i want your gape. 2. sweaty asshole sluts. and big juicy buttholes. vol 8.

food: all of the above.

music: GLASSJAW. HEAD AUTOMATICA. mindless self indulgence. cage. the killers. the used. my chemical romance. aiden. silverstein. june. panic! at the disco. as i lay dying. kill hannah. the sounds. hellogoodbye. chiodos. lexicon. TSOL. the esoteric. 30 seconds to mars. dillinger escape plan. the demigodz. fall out boy. from first to last. underoath. goldfrapp. shiny toy guns. from autumn to ashes. the high and mighty. senses fail. smut peddlers. afi. deftones. HIM. daniel lioneye. cash money millionaires. muse. porn theatre ushers. cave in. poison the well. weathermen. sunny day real estate. the promise ring. thursday. far. the horrors. refused. radiohead. vision of disorder. between the buried and me. bloodhound gang. scary kids scaring kids. duran duran. streetlight manifesto. fannypack. decendants. nine inch nails. eazy e. blondie. necro. hole. outkast. aesop rock. lords of acid. orgy. mc paul barman. inxs. the left rights. sex pistols. apathy. tupac. el-p. coal chamber. r.a. the ruggedman. billy idol. tool. the cure. madonna. david bowie. jaylib. velvet underground. go-go bordello. perfect circle. bjork. the doors. depeche mode. the aquabats. courtney love. rod stewart - im serious. fuck off. new order. team sleep. manson. genitorturers. portishead. white zombie. the smiths. im sure theres tons more, but im lazy.... i hate icp more than anything in the entire world. hearing them makes me want to kill kittens. "juggalos" and "juggalettes" make me fucking sick. and faygo tastes like horse piss.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
cigarettes. a lighter. some sort of caffeine free soda. marshmallow lip smackers. nasal spray. cup uhh noodle.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
blow jobs. thermonuclear bombs. boxes of rocks. transhumanism. zombieXcore. lollercoasters. quantum physics. rocket scinece. moonshine. totalitarian dictatorships. lolcats. pop locking and dropping it. orthodontics. recipies including yams. schematics for antique clocks. pyrotechnics. what the hell is bologna made of. spine collecting. the washington monument. wind chimes. investing in enron. tackle football. quadriplegics with tourrets. el caminos. transcendentalism. seedless grapes. pug hunting.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
at a rager with a bunch of doods in tight pants. or. engaging in various breakdancing battles.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
im going to lolerskate all over your face.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 22–40
  • Near me
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
youre daryl palumbo. or a decent look alike.