I have no particular expectations out of this site. I suppose I'd like to find people out there who are similar to myself, there aren't that many of them in my life.
Though I'm single and would rather not be, I'm not actively dating right now. I'm open to it, but haven't been pursuing it just because my job sucks and it makes more sense to pursue a more liberating income. So at present new friends are all I'm looking for here (though I occasionally cave to the part of me that says "to hell with practicality, I want a girlfriend" and browse/message), or perhaps someone who might be more than a friend someday, if we're both still available when that becomes a possibility. I don't use the site very actively right now, so it may be a long time before I see a given message.
However, if you read through this profile and decide that we're too good a match to ignore, you can of course message me in pursuit of that, and who knows, we'll see what happens. Please understand though that if you don't hear back for a long time, it's not that I'm ignoring you, it's that I haven't logged in since you messaged.
Okay, rant done. (Ha, but if you think that was long-winded, this may not be the profile you want to read. Seriously, see how long it takes you to scroll down. It's like an autobiography on here... in one long narrow column. Like toilet paper. An autobiography on toilet paper. Probably appropriate.)
I've written a lot here, but if you take the time to read it all, I think you'll have a pretty good understanding of me and what you can expect. If nothing else, it might be a good read.
Multiculturalism and globalism are important to me. Not just culturally (though it would be nice if more people embraced other music, film, food, literature and ways of life than their own), but trying to see the viewpoints of others. I'm not sure quite how to put it. If a pessimist and an optimist are arguing whether a glass is half full or half empty, I try to accept that they're both right-- neither has a less valid point and they'd both be better off if they just tried to understand why the other sees the glass the way they do. Of course this applies to everything from politics to religion to culture, not just debates about the capacity usage of liquid containers (hint, the correct answer is that unless there's a vacuum involved, the glass is full, half with fluid and half with air :P)
So the weird paradox of it is, there are so many people who have a static view of life and of other people-- and I'm trying to see things from their perspective. The universe is comedic genius.
If you want to know more of what is going on in my head philosophically, my politics, etc., most of my journal on here is filled with such things. Or not. This profile is obscenely long as it is, without clicking on even more.
A few things about me:
- I don't watch sports. I don't regularly play them, though I can be goaded into it. I'm not too competitive so I'd rather just hit the gym, which isn't really my style either. (Playing with my cat gets me plenty of exercise, anyway. That little maniac could tire out an Olympian. Either kind.) No one I know really plays any sports anyway. But watching them? I never really saw the point.
- I am a cuddle whore. Though my ideal relationship does include at least some level of sexual activity at some point, I could be content in an abstinent relationship. What I need is my cuddlin'! Hug me, use me as furniture, whatever! I's a 6'8" teddy bear and I need me some cuddlin'! Ladies be warned: if you enter a romantic relationship with me-- you will be cuddled incessantly!
- The huge lists of favorites below probably make me look like I never leave the house. While I do enjoy a comfy evening, preferably with friends or a significant other, sitting and watching movies or playing games, I like some variety and moderation. I'm not the most physically or socially active person, but I do like to get out and hike, shop, travel, butcher songs in karaoke, loiter, whatever. The scope of those lists is more a reflection of my inability to categorize or pick single favorites, my obsessive need to detail everything, and my desire to meet existing fans or expose potential ones to great works of art.
-I entered "dislikes dogs" under details, though it doesn't give one many options or any ability to elaborate, so let me do so here: I don't hate dogs, I'm just not comfortable around them in general, probably because I was raised around only cats. So I can be tolerant of them, but am usually a little put off by the tiny noisy kind and the big slobbery kind, but could see myself maybe warming up to the chill kind of "mid-range" dogs, like maybe a basset hound or a welsh corgi.
- I'm not a fan of talking on the phone. IMing and email are fine, and talking in person is great, but for some reason I don't like chatting on the phone. I make quick calls to exchange necessary information, but I find long talks about whatever comes to mind are better done in person or over IM. This doesn't mean I won't talk on the phone, I just don't prefer it.
-I like BBWs (big beautiful women. Or full-figured, or curvy, whatever term you prefer), but not exclusively. I appreciate all body types, though I have dated more of the aforementioned type than others. Some people seem to have a misconception, though, that "he likes big girls, and he likes me, so he must think I'm overweight", which is not the case, I simply like all builds equally. That idea is no more valid than a blonde thinking "he likes brunettes, and he likes me, so he must think I'm brunette".
-Those who are easily offended should be warned that I'm a firm believer in a quotation by George Carlin (which I will now hideously paraphrase): "It's the duty of every comedian to find out where the line is drawn and then deliberately cross it." This is not to say I think all humor needs shock value; much of mine doesn't have it and I appreciate many things that don't... but my palette does include humor offensive to a lot of people, especially in my comics (I fully expect to be lynched once I start posting them online). I keep it reigned in when I'm not sure of the sensibilities of those present, but my irreverent side is always ready for times when inappropriate is appropriate.
-A lot of the match questions on here bother me with their
narrow scope. Notably, ones that judge people for a belief or
interest. "If your partner turned out to be racist or aroused by
children/animals/urine/whatever, would you leave them?" Answering
this "no" makes you sound like you are the same. But just because
someone I care about has an upsetting viewpoint or unappealing
fetish or really any unshared quality, that doesn't mean I will
shun them for it. If it's someone I care about, doesn't it make
more sense to stay and try to open their mind, change their
viewpoint, or discourage acting on an immoral or illegal fetish? If
someone leaves you over such a thing I guess they didn't care about
you that much. I would also hope that if I answer a question in
such a way that it is a point of contention for someone who is
interested in me, that they would message me about it and discuss
it rather than just writing me off based on the limitations of a
multiple choice answer. They've recently made a great
improvement to this by adding an explanation field, though it'll
take me a long time to go through the thousand or so questions I've
-Another question on here that bothers me is the open relationship question. I have only had monogamous relationships. I have never cheated on a girlfriend and never intend to. Though I am monogamous, however, I do have several friends who are polyamorous and recommend it. If asked to have such a relationship by a person I'm interested in, I would probably agree, though I might or might not seek additional relationships (and if I didn't, that would not mean I expected the same of my partner). My openness to trying that lifestyle should not be taken as an indicator that I would cheat in a monogamous relationship or even desire to.
-I am all for proper English, with correct grammar and spelling. However, if you are going to avoid anything to do with me because I decide not to use any caps or use the occasional "net" abbreviation in an email or IM (or my profile for that matter; I think I was in a rush somewhere and didn't capitalize) then you are letting a pet peeve rule you and probably missing out on great interactions with some intelligent, educated people who just happen to be a little lazy when it comes to typing informally.
-I rant sometimes. Can you tell?
Kinds of times you might spend with me if you develop a relationship with me...
1. Cuddling watching a movie or television. Not all the time, mind you, but sometimes it's nice to just cuddle and watch something together.
2. Osmosing the scenery. Maybe it's trite or weird, but I often enjoy stargazing, seawatching, or stormseeking-- just enjoying the atmosphere. It helps if it's cool out and not buggy. It'd be nice to have company for this. Just cuddling up together and appreciating the show that nature's always got on that few watch.
3. Wandering. Pick a direction or a place we've never been and just go there. Enjoy the drive, see the sights. See if there are any interesting shops, and hopefully a good place to eat. This isn't always feasible with the state of gas prices, but it's usually worth it even if you don't find anything interesting, as long as you've shared the trip with someone interesting.
4. Gaming. Probably not on dates (unless you want to, that's fine), but boardgaming is common among my friends (I also make the damn things, so they're kinda everywhere in my life) so when we're spending time with mutual friends it may come up a lot.
5. Shared cooking, learning, etc. It's up to you, but I've cooked with girlfriends sometimes in the past (well, more like she cooked while I washed n' peeled veggies or whatever else she had me do, but close enough) and enjoyed it, and would like to again from time to time if you're open to it. Also, I like the idea of taking classes together, like learning some style of dance or something. Just a thought.
The following are some of my flaws. Yes, the bad stuff. Why hide it? You'll find out about them if you start spending time with me anyway, and if they're going to be a problem for you maybe this will save you some time.
-Punctuality is not my strong suit. If being late can be considered an art form, then I am a master of tardiness akin to Da Vinci, or Mozart, or the person that invented the bean bag chair. I am occasionally on time for things, but I can guarantee you that at some point in knowing me I will either be late to meet you somewhere or make you late to someplace you're going with me.
-I can be very anal... er, you know what I mean. I border on the obsessive-compulsive. This has gotten better over the years, but I am frequently a perfectionist in matters of little importance. That's another one right there-- I have mixed priorities sometimes. This also lends to my tendency to be incredibly indecisive. I know firmly where I stand on major life debates like abortion and capital punishment and politics and religion... but ask me what flavor ice cream I want or which CD to play-- and I will take a pointlessly long time deciding.
-I am variably messy. I keep things like books, CDs, DVDs, and so on very neat and organized, yet my living environment is usually cluttered with papers, bags, knickknacks and such. It is always clutter, however, not uncleanliness in the sense of dirt/fluids/old food/etc... that's just nasty. Okay, unless you count dust. There's a fair amount of dust around here. ( *narrows eyes, grabs vacuum cleaner, shouts battlecry, fails miserably* )
-I am easily distracted and at times, very lazy. Though more often the former, both lead to the same result of things I set out to do not getting done, or at least not right away. It can also mean I have a short attention span. I am working to improve my focus, but it is an uphill battle. What were we talking about? :P
-I sometimes wonder if I'm too open-minded. It can add to the aforementioned indecision, make me waste time dealing with potential instead of likelihood, and it also means I play devil's advocate a lot. Trying to see everyone's side of things is usually a good thing, but when people are overwhelmingly on one side of an issue, trying to be diplomatic about the other view, even when I personally disagree with it, can piss a lot of people off.
-Some people have told me before that I sounded like a
jerk/snob/something in that vein of obnoxiousness. Others have told
me those people misread me or just suffer from butthurt.
Regardless, I guess I can come off like a know-it-all or a dick or
some variety of seriously offensive at times. It's not intentional
(the non-serious offensiveness is, of course, but I find that
people usually have no trouble telling those two apart). I
appreciate being called on it, and hope anyone doing so will try to
sort it out with me rather then just brushing me off and telling
people I'm an asshole.
-Some people also seem to think I'm a negative person, which
couldn't be further from the truth... I'm just pragmatic. I guess
you could say I'm a practical idealist, or an optimistic realist,
or something along those lines. I tend to have an attitude of "I/we
can do it! But here are all the reasons I/we might not be able to.
I welcome suggestions as to how to surmount them." It's important
to believe yourself and to not sabotage yourself with a
self-defeating attitude, but it also does no good to ignore the
obstacles you face and not approach them rationally. For some
reason, though, I know a lot of people who take any realistic
assessment of a problem as being defeatist.
Well, was that honest enough for you? Hopefully I've not forgotten anything, so you'll be prepared for both my charming intricacies and my infuriating quirks. Do read on...