Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


59 M Northampton, MA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:38pm
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from med school
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary

For starters, I'm probably the sanest one you will ever find in cyberspace. No kidding. I'm a close cousin of Yoda and the Dalai Lama (without the pontificating yadayada). Accept me and I will do the same of you. I'm not into self-analysis, or analyzing my friends. There is no percentage in it. I just want us to add to each other's joy in life.

Where to start? Physical or metaphysical?

Physical is where most females want to start, and that is easier, so let me warm up with that. If you don't care about it (many women claim this????), skip the following paragraph.

I am the following:

-159 pounds, as of this morning at the gym. I vary from about 157 to 165. (I don't want to give you the idea I am obsessed with weight...I'm not...but for a heterosexual male the scale is about the most interesting thing in the men's locker room)
-Curly hair
-Eyes sometimes green sometimes blue (don't know what makes the difference..daughter says it is how much I slept...)
- I have a very good body in a lanky kind of way. Long fingers/toes/arms/legs....If you are not obsessed with Governor Schwarzneggar types, it would probably please you.
- Hair only where hair belongs
- A cute innie...

I play the sax but not extremely well (not because I am untalented...I have promise.... but because I have only played about six years and, considering, I'm pretty hot). I play on Wednesdays with people who are way better than me in Vermont, plus in a Latin ensemble and in a jazz ensemble, and I go to France to play in the summer. I can carry my weight in a conversation. I love adrenaline-related sports that force you to live in the moment (I love being wet and scared and warm at the same time). This means windsurfing these days, though I used to do a lot of whitewater kayaking and dabbled in kitesurfing and scuba . My heart is in the tropics and I have my own place in the Venezuelan Caribbean where I spend my winters windsurfing. I travel a lot, I used to meditate daily (Vipassana) but fell off the wagon. I know how to treat a woman (whatever that means), though I never did get the toilet seat thing down very well. So as long as your emotions are not too seriously tied to toilet seat position, don't worry...I will treat them extremely well. Every day I am less of a vegetarian- I love animals but I eat whole schools of fish (yes, I know they are animals), and meat, and occasionally something gross like a chili dog too. I push my limits at the gym though I don't particularly enjoy it. I can be very open or very closed, depending upon the people I am with. And by the way...I'm not lonely. I never seek information not freely offered and never share anything about my friends with others without their permission, regardless of where the friendships go. And I definitely don't stalk. It would make me feel too much like a schnauzer.

OK, now the hard stuff. Why am I here? It's a good question you are bound to ask really soon if I don't tell you now. I'm not prone to self-analysis, so I have to think about it a little. Here is my story. I was married faithfully for about 19 years . working as a physician, divorced since January 2008 and separated much longer.

When I was together with my ex-wife I was faithful. Why was I faithful? I'm not sure about that either. I assure you it has nothing to do with sainthood, or sexual morality, or fear, or lack of opportunity. I guess commitment, but not to her, rather to myself. I make few commitments because I take them so seriously.

I am intrigued by the possibility of mutual exploration with the right person...kind of like tenderly peeling away layers to reach the essence. Friends are very important to me. Mostly I enjoy fatherhood (my daughter is grown but lives nearby). I play music, I do my sports. I hang out with friends. I travel a lot. The paradigm has shifted.

I'm not hungrily looking for a girlfriend or lover, but I am open to deep love, If I find someone, I would want somebody tender, happy, easygoing, attractive, independent and playful, and I want us to enjoy our moments together in an uncomplicated way. Somebody who lives life as an art form, rather than something you just do. Commitment could be deep or superficial based on what happens- if you don't push the river it flows by itself. It would be nice if you were a whole lot smarter than Sarah Palin , and cuter than Hillary. Sweetness is an incredibly underrated aphrodisiac- maybe the biggest one for me, I don't know. But formulas are silly. Vanity. Vanity. All is vanity. I just want you to make my heart go twitterpat.

The thing I think I like best about cyberspace is that it is the only place I know where everybody plays by their own rules.

Mine are simple and there are only three.

1. Keep it happy and spread joy.
2. Don't hurt anybody (I know some of you are fragile...)
3. Stay out of wormholes (I am rethinking the third as the paradigm shifts.)

And a fourth rule that is inviolable: I will not have sex with anybody unless I am certain that our thoughts of each other (wherever the future leads us, apart or together) will always bring a smile to both of our faces.

Wow, this turned out to be wordy, way more than I intended, but it was fun for me, and hopefully for you too. If you made it this far, you are either into Proustian prose, or you DO like me. So please write and tell me about yourself. It can be superficial stuff....what you had for breakfast, what your room looks like, what you do for work, if you have funny toes... Or if you prefer, you can get all deep and profound and tell me about your worldly hopes, deepest fears, wildest desires, whatever. Or something completely different. After all, it is your brain. Maybe just say hi.
What I’m doing with my life
"To play without passion is inexcusable!" - Ludwig van Beethoven
I’m really good at
My job, before I retired. Waterstarts. Being a dad. Finding great places and things to do. Writing essays like the one above. Convincing better musicians than I that it's fun to play with me. Getting certain women to fall in love with me. Battling bamboo. Making some people smile.
The first things people usually notice about me
How young I seem (mentally and physically). My doctor says I have the body of a 32 year old, which disturbs me, since I have the brain of a 14 year old. A friend told me I would do much better meeting women in person than online, since in person they think I'm a kid. I guess I will find out.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
MUSIC- Jazz is my passion (I play it), but I love all kinds of music. Rock, classical, opera, jazz, metal, country, Latin, African, folk, punk, reggae, calypso, rap, Irish, the list goes on and on. Miles Davis said there are only two types of music- good music and bad music. I may even grow to like techno some day, who knows.

MOVIES- I love them. I'll go see anything- even a chick flick. A few notables that immediately come to mind are Casablanca, The Wizard of Oz, The Matrix, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Vertigo, Amelie, stuff like that. I like offbeat stuff like Rubin and Ed (my current movie love, by Salt Lake City director Trent Harris). I do a movie night at my house once a month, usually pretty odd stuff, for the neighbors (last Thursday's theme was "A Century of Silly Sexy Sci-Fi"). If we become friends I will let you choose the next movie night film (carrot on stick......)

TV- I don't have cable or even an antenna so hardly ever watch. But I feel that TV is under-rated. Amidst the garbage there are great flowers, like Deadwood and Farscape and Simpsons and Buffy and South Park and Sopranos and The Wire and Californication and Firefly and Twin Peaks and Lost and Breaking Bad and I,Claudius and Lexx and Mad Men and The Game of Thrones and Ken Burns stuff. I download them and watch them when I am in my Caribbean home (Isla Margarita, Venezuela) in the winter.

BOOKS- The Alexandria Quartet, Moomintroll Midwinter and others by Tove Jansson, Snow Crash, Candide, The Long Run, Chaos, The Elegant Universe, The Sot-Weed Factor, Confederacy of Dunces, Catch-22, The Trouble with Physics, Most of Tom Wolfe, earlier works of Hunter S. Thompson, East of Eden, Under the Banner of Heaven, Killer Angels, Gravity's Rainbow, Dune, Tale of Two Cities, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World, Love in the Ruins, Great Gatsby, early Anne Rice, The Shadow of the Wind (Carlos Ruiz Zafon), Moby Dick, Dracula, The Fabric of the Cosmos, the better works of Vonnegut and Tom Robbins, Shantaram, much of Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

FOOD- Most of anything except beets and olives. You can have my olives.

The only written words that I can come up with on the spur of the moment that profoundly changed the way I live my life or perceive the world are:

1. Alexandria Quartet, and a bunch of pithy rock lyrics (especially Bob Dylan and Incredible String Band), age 15.
2. Anything related to theoretical physics, age 20.
3. Chaos, and Book of Predictions, age 40.
4, The Story of Civilization (Will Durant), age 45- cheated and listened to the books on tape while commuting.

If you can come up with others that will change my life, please bring them on.
The six things I could never do without
My daughter
My daughter
My daughter
My daughter
My daughter
My daughter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, the universe and everything
On a typical Friday night I am
No such thing as a typical Friday night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
for or belonging to one particular person or group only.
■ (of thoughts, feelings, etc.) not to be shared or revealed.

This makes me recall an old bumper sticker: "Anarchists unite! You have nothing to lose but your decentralized principles!"

I will tell you this much- despite that okcupid has statistically concluded that, by far, the best strategy for connecting is to send short notes to as many women as possible, cut and paste and cull the results, I only initiate contact with the few who inspire me enough to write, and when I do I write thoughtfully. This is because if the process was not fun for me I would not be here; the same reason I never spent much time at singles bars.

More interesting, to learn about one of the most private things that OKCupid may not be willing to admit , go to the okcupid entry in Wikipedia and read the section on "Attractiveness and Match Results". It can be found here:
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
(like in one woman's profile I read) you spend a lot of time thinking about which Muppet would play Polonius in Hamlet.

Or more importantly, if you think that knowing me might contribute to your happiness.

"If you're a successful bullshitter, it means you are not hanging around enough people smarter than you." -Neil DeGrasse Tyson.