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gokusmith
30 / M / Straight / Single
Santa Rosa, California
His journal posts
A hero in love
May 31, 2009
You can never know what I hide.
It can never be to my misery.
my strength, my muse, my weakness.
Can't you see how much you mean to me?
I would give the world,
give my life for thee.
But we can never be...
Forced to hurt you, forced to deceive.
To hide how I feel, only able to watch,
as life's currents take your heart beyond my grasp.
With every breath I ache to embrace you,
to comfort you in my love,
to unveil all that I hide for you to see.
But we can never be...
Against forces that would rip any other asunder,
mind and body can be assaulted but i shall not brake.
The bit of your essence held in my heart sets me apart,
giving me the strength to face what I must.
To safeguard the world we both hold dear.
Your silent guardian from the shadows for all of eternity.
But we can never be...
You are a beauty untold worth much more then mere gold.
To tell you would be to risk you
The needs of the world leave no room for for me.
I have enemies, I fear not for myself but for thee.
From the start you have been much more,
more then just a part of my heart.
but we can never be...
It can never be to my misery.
my strength, my muse, my weakness.
Can't you see how much you mean to me?
I would give the world,
give my life for thee.
But we can never be...
Forced to hurt you, forced to deceive.
To hide how I feel, only able to watch,
as life's currents take your heart beyond my grasp.
With every breath I ache to embrace you,
to comfort you in my love,
to unveil all that I hide for you to see.
But we can never be...
Against forces that would rip any other asunder,
mind and body can be assaulted but i shall not brake.
The bit of your essence held in my heart sets me apart,
giving me the strength to face what I must.
To safeguard the world we both hold dear.
Your silent guardian from the shadows for all of eternity.
But we can never be...
You are a beauty untold worth much more then mere gold.
To tell you would be to risk you
The needs of the world leave no room for for me.
I have enemies, I fear not for myself but for thee.
From the start you have been much more,
more then just a part of my heart.
but we can never be...
Counter to hero in love
May 31, 2009
Their is something he hides.
I do try but he will not confide.
Why does he draw away from me?
He is my hope, he gives my life meaning.
Can he not see he is the world to me?
It feels as if we have a destiny.
Can we ever be?
I have tried to move on, tried to live without him,
but nowhere else is their such a one for me.
He stands me up, brakes my heart,
he draws away from me.
A ache, a distance that brings tiers to my eyes.
Despite it all my heart never is in doubt that he will be their for me.
Can we ever be?
Their was a time when the hero was my dream,
but it was just a fantasy, he is not the one for me.
I was blind I could not see,
the one for me was standing right next to me.
No risk, no pain could hurt more then love denied.
If it can never be, I almost wish the hero would quit saving me.
Can we ever be?
So humble so ordinary yet I feel something more.
I would give my life suffer anything,
to be but held within his arms.
My heart can only be saved by him.
for he has entrapped it, he is all of my heart.
I can not explain why when I'm with him i feel so safe.
Can we ever be?
I do try but he will not confide.
Why does he draw away from me?
He is my hope, he gives my life meaning.
Can he not see he is the world to me?
It feels as if we have a destiny.
Can we ever be?
I have tried to move on, tried to live without him,
but nowhere else is their such a one for me.
He stands me up, brakes my heart,
he draws away from me.
A ache, a distance that brings tiers to my eyes.
Despite it all my heart never is in doubt that he will be their for me.
Can we ever be?
Their was a time when the hero was my dream,
but it was just a fantasy, he is not the one for me.
I was blind I could not see,
the one for me was standing right next to me.
No risk, no pain could hurt more then love denied.
If it can never be, I almost wish the hero would quit saving me.
Can we ever be?
So humble so ordinary yet I feel something more.
I would give my life suffer anything,
to be but held within his arms.
My heart can only be saved by him.
for he has entrapped it, he is all of my heart.
I can not explain why when I'm with him i feel so safe.
Can we ever be?
How is it that this sight of mine does not you see
May 31, 2009
O the endless dreams yet seemingly impossibility of love
true.
My words from the hearts depths come,
And shall be forever in the beats of my heart true.
What are my words but endless dreams,
What is life but endless strife,
But dreams do tease as they make my heart to seize.
Do you not dream?
Does the sun light not shine?
Do the hearts of the people not cheer?
Should one so shy not fear?
Do i not have a chance,
Does the world not have one with whom my heart will dance?
What is this that I feel?
How can something feel so powerful?
What is this that I seem to know?
How can I know what I have never known?
What is this that is taking over me?
Why could I not find this but sooner in life?
From worlds apart we come
From one side to the other
From one heart to another
Together we can be, the beauty of the spring
Hearts apart can never stay
With you is my only way
Let not the fire, let not the people stand in are path
Have you no spirit, have you no heart, have you ever ceased to dream
Have are hearts not come so far
Your lose would leave such a scare
Just free you heart, free you soul,
free your mind to truly know.
It is easy to see what truly be,
When you mean so much to me.
The sorrow to know that you are but a dream
You I have yet to find it must seem
How is it that this sight of mine,
does not you see?
My words from the hearts depths come,
And shall be forever in the beats of my heart true.
What are my words but endless dreams,
What is life but endless strife,
But dreams do tease as they make my heart to seize.
Do you not dream?
Does the sun light not shine?
Do the hearts of the people not cheer?
Should one so shy not fear?
Do i not have a chance,
Does the world not have one with whom my heart will dance?
What is this that I feel?
How can something feel so powerful?
What is this that I seem to know?
How can I know what I have never known?
What is this that is taking over me?
Why could I not find this but sooner in life?
From worlds apart we come
From one side to the other
From one heart to another
Together we can be, the beauty of the spring
Hearts apart can never stay
With you is my only way
Let not the fire, let not the people stand in are path
Have you no spirit, have you no heart, have you ever ceased to dream
Have are hearts not come so far
Your lose would leave such a scare
Just free you heart, free you soul,
free your mind to truly know.
It is easy to see what truly be,
When you mean so much to me.
The sorrow to know that you are but a dream
You I have yet to find it must seem
How is it that this sight of mine,
does not you see?
If I where... (poem)
May 31, 2009
If I where a poet, for you my love I would wright so that all would
know it.
If I where a tree, upon me would be carved are heart, as I shelter thee.
If I where the snow, for you I would fall with my hearts flow.
If I where a star, my twinkle you would be seen wide and far.
If I where a dream, you would be my only theme, you who are my gleam.
If I where a stallion, only you could ride, and thus i would run until my heart burst with pride.
If I where a mountain, you would make me quake, bringing forth the youth's fountain.
If I where the wind, I would carry your sent to all of mankind, my love can not be confined.
If I where the sea, for you i would rise and fall as the tide, for you over flood me with glee.
If I where in love, with you i would be for all eternity, for you are what my heart dreams of.
If I where a tree, upon me would be carved are heart, as I shelter thee.
If I where the snow, for you I would fall with my hearts flow.
If I where a star, my twinkle you would be seen wide and far.
If I where a dream, you would be my only theme, you who are my gleam.
If I where a stallion, only you could ride, and thus i would run until my heart burst with pride.
If I where a mountain, you would make me quake, bringing forth the youth's fountain.
If I where the wind, I would carry your sent to all of mankind, my love can not be confined.
If I where the sea, for you i would rise and fall as the tide, for you over flood me with glee.
If I where in love, with you i would be for all eternity, for you are what my heart dreams of.
The dancer
May 31, 2009
Hearken to me for I have found a beauty all to profound.
It is in the face and twinkle of the eye,
for that is where true beauty lies.
Upon the floor she dances with the winds she seems to sore,
O' how she makes all of are hearts burst into roar.
A smile that is as a enchantment, bewitching all that see with her elation.
Certainly not a man could resist her dance if not for are hesitation,
for what soul could feel worthy to touch the floor of one we all so adore.
Guided by the music it may seem,
but it is her who gives the music its gleam.
She moves with the flow,
yet as gently as the freshest snow.
Perfection of step, confidants embodied into the night,
the realm of dance is held up by her light
The dance may be old but forever it will be held in are hearts fold.
Light on her feet, fast on the ground,
O' how she seems to bounce and bound all around.
An overflow of energy so free surly all sadness must flee.
Even in are dreams non can compare, to the one that dances so fair.
Every step you take brings are hearts awake with the drams you make.
With these words but a measure of you harmony and grace shall be carried on from now into eternity.
For the kingdom, for the arts of are hearts, your dance and smile shall always be apart.
Updated about a month ago · Comment · Like
It is in the face and twinkle of the eye,
for that is where true beauty lies.
Upon the floor she dances with the winds she seems to sore,
O' how she makes all of are hearts burst into roar.
A smile that is as a enchantment, bewitching all that see with her elation.
Certainly not a man could resist her dance if not for are hesitation,
for what soul could feel worthy to touch the floor of one we all so adore.
Guided by the music it may seem,
but it is her who gives the music its gleam.
She moves with the flow,
yet as gently as the freshest snow.
Perfection of step, confidants embodied into the night,
the realm of dance is held up by her light
The dance may be old but forever it will be held in are hearts fold.
Light on her feet, fast on the ground,
O' how she seems to bounce and bound all around.
An overflow of energy so free surly all sadness must flee.
Even in are dreams non can compare, to the one that dances so fair.
Every step you take brings are hearts awake with the drams you make.
With these words but a measure of you harmony and grace shall be carried on from now into eternity.
For the kingdom, for the arts of are hearts, your dance and smile shall always be apart.
Updated about a month ago · Comment · Like
Crime of love (poem)
May 31, 2009
Is to love such a crime?
For you I shall love tell and beyond the end of all time.
How can a filling so clean and pure be something I so fear
To know such fear that I tremble
To have my mind striped of all words
It fills so wrong it fills beyond what I can do
Is their one that would welcome my love?
Yet I crave to give it with all that I am
Bad it can not be for it fills my heart with rhyme
love is not about what happens beneath the sheets
It is about how it controls your hearts beats
To have love is to face the greatest pain
The desire to by worlds or presence alone bring a smile to thy heart
To dream to hold, to be the one so bold.
The ford over the river of my heart is these words.
To live, to truly live is to love.
For you I shall love tell and beyond the end of all time.
How can a filling so clean and pure be something I so fear
To know such fear that I tremble
To have my mind striped of all words
It fills so wrong it fills beyond what I can do
Is their one that would welcome my love?
Yet I crave to give it with all that I am
Bad it can not be for it fills my heart with rhyme
love is not about what happens beneath the sheets
It is about how it controls your hearts beats
To have love is to face the greatest pain
The desire to by worlds or presence alone bring a smile to thy heart
To dream to hold, to be the one so bold.
The ford over the river of my heart is these words.
To live, to truly live is to love.
When are hearts combine. (poem)
May 31, 2009
From the soil of my being
From the water of my tiers
From the breath of air upon witch rides your sent
From the sunny warmth of your eyes
From the seeds of are love
From my heart does spring a new flower of the spring
Like the vines of a rose the earth, the moon, the stars are entwined
Forever we will be together bound by more then words you see
With you every minute, every day seems as new to me.
From the water of my tiers
From the breath of air upon witch rides your sent
From the sunny warmth of your eyes
From the seeds of are love
From my heart does spring a new flower of the spring
Like the vines of a rose the earth, the moon, the stars are entwined
Forever we will be together bound by more then words you see
With you every minute, every day seems as new to me.
Way to thee.
May 31, 2009
Entranced by your beauty,
left speechless by your grace.
O how you make my heart seem to race.
My body will no longer cooperate,
my mind can no longer operate.
You awaken my heart, you awaken my soul.
You awaken my passion, you give me the spirit,
you give me the fire to truly aspire.
I dream to fight for thee,
thus win the wars of are destiny.
To hold you in my embrace
to fill you look upon my face,
is the dream to me,
dream I yearn to someday see see with thee.
From the time of hopeless grief with no sign of any relief,
where my only companions be the tiers that stream from me,
only you could ease my fears thus is the purpose of my plea.
Every beat of my heart, every breath I do take,
is dedicated to you of whom I dream even when awake.
I may not find you, I may never even know you.
My heart feels somewhere out their, must you be weighting for me.
But can you weight, can you still be their when I find myself, find my way to thee.
My tiers run free my heart bleeds for thee.
Their is no other way, nothing I can ever say, to make me not fill this way,
to find my other half the one to whom my heart does convey.
left speechless by your grace.
O how you make my heart seem to race.
My body will no longer cooperate,
my mind can no longer operate.
You awaken my heart, you awaken my soul.
You awaken my passion, you give me the spirit,
you give me the fire to truly aspire.
I dream to fight for thee,
thus win the wars of are destiny.
To hold you in my embrace
to fill you look upon my face,
is the dream to me,
dream I yearn to someday see see with thee.
From the time of hopeless grief with no sign of any relief,
where my only companions be the tiers that stream from me,
only you could ease my fears thus is the purpose of my plea.
Every beat of my heart, every breath I do take,
is dedicated to you of whom I dream even when awake.
I may not find you, I may never even know you.
My heart feels somewhere out their, must you be weighting for me.
But can you weight, can you still be their when I find myself, find my way to thee.
My tiers run free my heart bleeds for thee.
Their is no other way, nothing I can ever say, to make me not fill this way,
to find my other half the one to whom my heart does convey.
Love the most (hypothetical )
May 31, 2009
O how it seems impossible to put into words, to choose what it is
about you i love the most. From silky hair o so fair, my fingers
yearn to run threw, to the cute feet and toes I wish to rub and
keep warm. Lovely ears i fear can hear the quickening of my heart.
A nose that is the dream of every artist and sculpture a mouth of
perfection with lips of bliss. Even if I can never hold, if only to
look upon you will my life be complete
Your every imperfection only amplifies why you are so perfect. A eternity I could spend admiring every inch of silky skin, every spot every dot from behind the ears to between the toes and every other place I knows. Every expression of your face, wiggle of a digit, wave of your hands awakens a lifetime of emotions, the greatest sight in the world is before me. I feel lost within the beauty of your eyes, your voice washes all my troubles away making me feel o so gay as a babe in a mothers arms.
The best part is not any of these it is something more something deep. A feeling, a power, an aura, a connection, that is who you are beyond all words or description. May your heart seek a part of my own, how can anything feel this strong. Their shall never be a need to remind me to say I love you this day, or any day forth for it is undeniable, unquestionable, in every fiber of who I am. And yet I shall say it anyway, for no expression is to great for you who is better then i could ever have dreamed.
Your every imperfection only amplifies why you are so perfect. A eternity I could spend admiring every inch of silky skin, every spot every dot from behind the ears to between the toes and every other place I knows. Every expression of your face, wiggle of a digit, wave of your hands awakens a lifetime of emotions, the greatest sight in the world is before me. I feel lost within the beauty of your eyes, your voice washes all my troubles away making me feel o so gay as a babe in a mothers arms.
The best part is not any of these it is something more something deep. A feeling, a power, an aura, a connection, that is who you are beyond all words or description. May your heart seek a part of my own, how can anything feel this strong. Their shall never be a need to remind me to say I love you this day, or any day forth for it is undeniable, unquestionable, in every fiber of who I am. And yet I shall say it anyway, for no expression is to great for you who is better then i could ever have dreamed.
Together
May 31, 2009
To find the other half of what I am.
Dire desire of fire consumes all that be.
True love can not be just some other scam.
To live for the chance of what only maybe.
Locked in a prison of my own shyness.
An emptiness devoid of what is life.
How I wish for the power of boldness.
My mind and emotions are at a strife.
You can cure me of my weakness and fear.
What you need I shall give all to provide.
To complete you is my only career.
In the place where hearts shall soon collide.
Having you at my side makes life a ball.
Alone I am not, with you we are all.
Dire desire of fire consumes all that be.
True love can not be just some other scam.
To live for the chance of what only maybe.
Locked in a prison of my own shyness.
An emptiness devoid of what is life.
How I wish for the power of boldness.
My mind and emotions are at a strife.
You can cure me of my weakness and fear.
What you need I shall give all to provide.
To complete you is my only career.
In the place where hearts shall soon collide.
Having you at my side makes life a ball.
Alone I am not, with you we are all.