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30 Sheffield, UK Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 29–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Sep 21, 2014
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and very serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Less than $20,000
Seeing Someone
English (Fluently), French (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Yo! So, I'm currently living in Sheffield, and about to go into the last year of a PhD on contemporary fiction. I used to have a relatively normal social life that involved going to the pub, looking at Facebook and pining after boys that didn't know I existed, but I have recently abandoned that mode of sociality in favour of spending all my time in the cheap function rooms above pubs in which I and a select group of, oooh, five other people plot the overthrow of capitalism and discuss whether or not one can make a molotov out of Buckfast.

I am the sort of person who has already written my own epitaph. It is: Never Miss An Indie Disco Or An Opportunity To Sock Wrestle Or Smash Capitalism.

I'm in a poly relationship, so if you wanna do the DATES then you need to be ok with that. I also don't have a *huge* amount of time at the moment, what with the combination of multiple partners, last year of PhDing and cursory attempts to build a new world in the shell of the old, but I'm still on here so apparently I still have time to piss around on the internet.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Apart from the doctorate, you mean? I suppose there's always the novel I was meaning to write. It was going to incorporate a damning indictment of late era consumer capitalism, a critique of contemporary conceptions of gender and national identity, and some hilarious stories about Robin Hood, but I kind of wrote the first chapter and then forgot about it. Still on the long list of projects I have yet to complete, though, along with... erm... the other novels I was planning on writing one day? Oh, and I thought about doing a zine for a while. And I thought about writing some stand-up comedy. And I thought about becoming one of those really famous journalists that like, kicks the shit out of the government and everything. I even briefly thought about auditioning for X-factor, but I quickly scrapped that one in favour of one of those awesome daydreams where I was like, a member of La Resistance in France and I had a beret and a cellar full of comely Jewish intellectuals and a coat like Richard E. Grant in Withnail and I and...

... I should prolly admit now that my day-to-day existence mainly involves pretending to be doing stuff other than what I'm actually doing. When that isn't happening, I like to have a nice SHOUT about CAPITALISM, cycle to convenient SHOUTING locations, listen to MUSIC made by people who never expect to make any MONEY out of it, make the SMASHY SMASHY with patriarchy patriarchy, and watch films with Humphery Bogart in them.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm PROBABLY SHOUTING. There is a 25% chance this will be about patriarchy, and a 75% chance that it will be about The Mountain Goats.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Coetzee, Didion, Murdoch, Melville, O'Connor, Galloway, Nabokov, Spark, Sebald, Kennedy, Smith, Eliots of the George variety, Amises of the Kingsley Variety, Redgrove, July, De Beauvoir.

Kerouac and Auster can suck my dick.

Music: Mountain Goats, Why?, British Sea Power, Fucked Up, Diane Cluck, most forms of PUNX apart from the really sludgy/crusty end of it, genres that end in 'pop', eyeliner synth, that end of hiphop beloved of spurious hipsters, Pulp, Devo, Talking Heads.

TV: The Wire, King of the Hill, Game of Thrones, The Great British Bake-Off (came off iPlayer recently. I was devastated. DEVASTATED, I TELL YOU.)

Food: Basically all of it, particularly esoteric bar snacks (scampi fries 4 EVA) smoked fish and sweet chilli sauce. Fundamentally, I am equally enthusiastic about eating quail's eggs or Frazzles. Oh, and I should probably at this point mention humous. It's not even that I particularly like humous, actually - it's just that my relationship to it is similar to the one I hear eskimos develop with snow.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
iPod. Bike. Humous. Hot Baths. Eyeliner. Moustaches drawn on in eyeliner.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Contemporary Scottish fiction, what food I'm going to eat when I stop cycling, my boyfriend, the feminisms, the anarchisms, witticisms I'm going to put on social networking sites, band names for bands I will never form, the perfect revolution, sex both real and imagined, absent friends, imaginary friends, friends who do actually exist but who I'm not actually friends with, fraught but passionate affairs with Yoni Wolf and John Darnielle, free diving.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Getting pished or saving the world.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is that I once tried to seduce someone by kicking them in the leg to get their attention, and then telling them that they should 'just take me home and shag me, goddamit.' Then, in an attempt to alleviate my own embarrassment, I ran away whilst imitating the King of the Apes from the live action Jungle Book film. Ook. Ook. Ook.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Rrobably if you managed to read all the way to the end of this profile, really. Also if you like going to gigs, pubs, public libraries, bike shops or Primark.