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goth_muffin

33 Calgary, Alberta, CA Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Jun 11
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Sign
Leo
Education
Working on university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a student, and an activist. I run the Smutty Story Circle once a month, and I also run Possibilities, a bisexual/pansexual club. If you're interested in either, drop me a line! I'm also genderqueer, but there's no option for that! What that means is that I'm biologically female, but I do not identify as a woman.

My life is pretty awesome these days. I have a group of fantastic, creative, amazing friends. I love being in university and exploring issues of gender and sexuality in an academic context. I went to San Francisco to research a paper on male bisexuality, and I think that right there sums up why things are so great right now.

I'm heading into my fourth year of a combined degree in English and Women's Studies. I've been incredibly lucky in my classes so far - coming in as a mature student with a seriously tight focus on issues of sexuality and gender means that my professors have let me really run with it. I have only written a handful of papers that weren't really interesting to research, and I feel really lucky to be in that position.

I'm doing an English Honours thesis and my topic is feminist porn. I get to watch a lot of porn this year, and analyze it. It's pretty awesome. (I have started a group and we get together and watch porn once a month - all feminist porn award winners. It's very academic and analytical and awesome, and not nearly as awkward as you might imagine. Although "Fuckstyles of the Queer and Famous" starts with Jiz Lee and Pappi Coxx already gloved up and heavily lubed, which was kind of unexpected.)

I want to date women. Women are beautiful. Women intimidate me. So far, I am much more comfortable (and more successful) dating men, and this makes me sad.

Also, I am polyamorous.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My life feels very open and hopeful, and I'm doing a bunch of things that I really love.

I run an erotic writing workshop and reading circle once a month, the Smutty Story Circle mentioned above. There's no cost to attend, so if you're looking for a safe, creative space to come and write about sex, send me a message! Anyone who writes is a writer, and all orientations and experience levels are welcome.

My other big project, and passion, and the thing I am most proud of, is Possibilities, which is a bisexual/pansexual community. We will be had our first meeting in December of 2010, and meet biweekly (haha!) for discussion and socializing. Safe spaces for exploration of sexuality are so rare, and I want to be involved in creating them. Sometimes Calgary feels hostile to alternative orientations and expressions of sexuality and gender, but I've learned that the community really is here, it's just a matter of finding it. My goal is that Possibilities will help make that a little easier for us bisexuals/pansexuals.

I also do some freelance writing, and am hoping to do more.

I love to travel, and that's one of my biggest priorities - save up and go. San Francisco is one of my favorite cities but I have loved almost everywhere I've been. I've had to put travel on a bit of a back burner in order to facilitate finally going to university, but as much as I can, I plan on traveling. And, obviously, once I've got my degrees I'll be traveling all over the world to interview fascinating people and tell stories of sexuality and gender and equality. At that point, the travel will take care of itself. (What is the point of a dream if you don't dream big?)

Dancing is one of my favorite things, although I'm not very good at it. It's been ages since I took a class, but one of my goals for the nearish future is to take another class - either pole-dancing or salsa dancing, or maybe I'll try something totally new like ballroom. I also love going out to clubs to dance, although I don't do it nearly enough.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Many things! Meeting people, especially in new cities. Writing. Baking. Dancing in a stompy and sort of silly way. My best friend says that my defining characteristic is my "inability to do anything by half-measures."

In the last year I've also become really good at speaking up in class, and bringing the gender and sexuality question to the table. I love this, because it means that I'm gaining confidence and actually getting my feet under me with this whole academic thing.

But the thing I'm REALLY good at? Talking about sex. Frankly, openly, and enthusiastically. Seriously, I am a rockstar. (I read an erotic story to a roomful of strangers at The Feminal Artery, and it was the scariest and most amazing thing I've ever done.)

I'm hoping to become really good at picking up people in public. I think if I can just get up the confidence to start telling people how gorgeous they are, life will be better. Even if we don't end up hooking up, it feels good to say out loud how attractive people are, and most of us don't hear it often enough. (But I do hope to not be creepy. It's a fine line, I know.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to say it was probably either the fact that I smile a lot, or that I look a lot younger than I am. Now, it's my rather tunnel-vision focus on issues of gender and sexuality. Fortunately, these are topics that lead to great conversations!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love fantasy and science fiction. Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors, followed closely by Charles de Lint. Sara Douglass, Robin Hobb, the Death Gate Cycle, the Ender books, The Hitchhiker's Guide the the Galaxy... so many good authors and great books. Also, if you know who Muffy Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson is, I might instantly fall in love with you. I also really enjoy reading literary and feminist theory.

Movies - quirky, foreign, fantasy or sci fi. Actually, I will watch almost anything except vulgar comedy (unless I'm in the right mood) Can't do horror, though, unless it's really cheesey.

Music - More Synthpop!!! The Cure, The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Mesh, Siouxie and the Banshees. I also love jazz, classical, chillout, and, well, a lot of other stuff. Gothic opera metal makes me stupidly happy. I love the symphony, and Calgary has a great one. If you haven't been to the CPO, go!

Food - I adore food. Particularly sushi, but really... anything delicious. Making it, eating it, talking about it, thinking about it, reading about it... Ahh, food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
sushi
laptop
activism and academics
sex
friends/my partner(s)
music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The future and how to make it as rich and full and enjoyable (and dark!) as possible.

Lately I've been spending a lot of time thinking about relationship dynamics and how to maintain appropriate boundaries without sacrificing intimacy. I've actually learned a lot about boundaries and connection through my pole-dancing classes. You can't hold on too tightly, or you just end up smacking into the pole! And, dude, that thing is painful.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Staying in and going to bed at 10:30. It's sad, but I turn into a pumpkin if I stay up past 11. Since I really love dancing and clubs don't play music until after my bedtime, I host monthly dance parties from 8-11 in my living room. They are awkward and awesome.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am terrified that the person I'm becoming is just a myth, and the Real Me is a timid, anxious, codependent mouse. I am trying to recognize that there's no fixed point of Real Me, but it would be so nice to just one day evolve into the person I'm meant to be and then not have to work at it anymore. Darn it! Everything's so much work.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are looking for someone quirky and occasionally amusing to hang out with. You like the perkygoth thing. You don't mind that my profile has been described, more than once, as tl:dr. (It took me so long to figure out what that meant. facepalm)

I am interested in new friends, writing partners, people who love dressing up and coming to dinner parties. I am also hoping to date casually. And I would love to find a girlfriend. There is not enough girl-kissing in my life, especially now that my best friend has moved to England.