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27 Buffalo, NY Other


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24-30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Nov 28
Queer, Pansexual, Demisexual
5' 6" (1.68m)
Special Diet
Working on Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Feline lover, cheese enthusiast.

It took me years to realize I'm not as smart as I think I am. And then a couple more to realize I really don't want to be.

Also I swear a lot. Not sorry.

PS(A): 'Sapiosexual' is not queer in any way. Honestly, it's just sort of vaguely ableist. Which also means it isn't a real sexual orientation, regardless of however OKCupid chooses to mis/categorize it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I tried academia, but hated the ivory tower I ended up building around myself more than I love the idea of becoming a public intellectual. So I left, and kind of dynamited my personal ivory tower in the process of all that.

Right now I work with kids at an after school program and I'm also working on an interdisciplinary masters program.

My career is still pretty up in the air at this point, which is fine because I have a few semesters to go on my current program. I really like kids and behaviorism though, so I'll probably get a PsyD and go into clinical psychology for kids and teens.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being funny.
This applies to both funny-haha and funny-weird, in equal measures.
Seriously, I mean that.

I'm also good at generally attracting attention that I don't know how to respond to, cat whispering, talking to children, knots, networking, choosing/making the perfect gift for people I care about, reading tarot for other people, spilling liquids on myself, and being a trope (isn't everyone, though?)

And I don't know if this is technically a thing I'm good at, but most animals like me right away. Especially cats and dogs. (It's usually mutual.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This question is pretty asinine. I think my mind is much more interesting than anything you could see by looking at my body, so I really wish it was something about how I think. Given that, I find this question much more interesting:

"Who usually notices you first when you walk into a room?"
The answer is straight-identified men whom I've known awhile.

Which I think is sort of twisted because I've lost a lot of weight this year, but have struggled with eating and body image issues since I was about 15. Besides, my (or anyone's) body is not here for other people's consumption or gratification.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite books are Passing (Larsen, 1929), Fun Home (Bechdel, 2006), and Stone Butch Blues (Feinberg, 1993). Jane Austen (especially Pride and Prejudice) and LM Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables and Emily of New Moon Series are longtime staples on my nightstand as well. These are the literary equivalents of longstanding love affairs in my life.

As far as summer flings go, I loved Deborah Harkness' All Souls Trilogy, Tamora Pierce's Emelan Universe novels (the Circle of Magic and Circle Opens quartets, etc.) and all of Richelle Mead's series (both YA and adult, especially the Georgina Kincaid Succubus series, and The Vampire Academy and its spin-off, the Bloodlines series.) Perhaps we will catch up in the future sometime. Probably not.

The one night stands are Kathy Reichs' Temperance Brennan novels, Richard Castle's Nikki Heat books (totally tied to my TV viewing habits. Zero shame), and Lauren Willig's Secret History of the Pink Carnation series. I inhale stuff like that and rarely reread it though. Books like that are too fast and intense to read more than once, the book equivalents of falling into bed with a megalomaniac for a week. Or in the case of the Pink Carnation especially, too wickedly sweet, like eating marzipan with my tree nut sensitivity. Especially if I needed to be watching my blood sugar.


My absolute favorite movie is Practical Magic. Hands down. Stardust, Hysteria, Addam's Family Values, and Saved! round out my top five. There are a couple more I like, but I don't watch many movies. Ask me.


I love TV. A lot. My tastes are eclectic and varied, so I encourage you to ask, because not only is TV an easy lead for a message, but I've seen so much of it that there is probably some overlap. I am definitely not into anime.


I like music and silence about the same. Which is sort of a lot I guess, and I'm pretty laid back about most genres if I do feel like listening to music.
I do not like screamo. ICP Is Not Okay, ever. And neither are Nickelmore/Mackleback.
Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie is my favorite song ever, and I listen to a lot of ambient electronic otherwise. As far as songs with lyrics go, Queen/David Bowie (obviously) and Florence + the Machine. I'm not ashamed of my love for 90's boy bands and the Spice Girls, either. Nor Céline Dion, though that is primarily affect.
My current favorite playlist in iTunes is called Dido, Frou Frou, Jem. I like a lot of chill Scandinavian stuff too, but am not pretentious enough of a music nerd to list a bunch more names on here. Besides, I generally identify music I like in terms of specific songs (that I don't usually remember the names of) than specific musicians.


My favorite food is cheese, especially semi/hard artisanal.

Blueberry iced tea is my favorite non-alcoholic beverage, and beverage in general. It should be noted that blueberries improve most things.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I need: space to myself, my cat, things to untangle mentally, healthy communication, consistent self-improvement, and a figurative shaker full of grains of salt.
I didn't count Maslow's 7 physiological needs.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Spirituality, science, politics, and psychoanalysis.
What I want to do tonight.
My cat, and whether or not he has a complex.
Money, and how I hate it. And how I need it to survive. And how completely ridiculous it is that we as a culture require something so arbitrary and intangible to survive.
Ways to do better, be better, and/or make things work better. And given this, how it's really too bad for my career prospects that I'm not willing to compromise my integrity by buying into capitalism. And my feelings about that...
Privilege, and how to better work on my own.
Understanding, broadly. Such as how to be more patient with people who do not understand me, and trying to be more patient in turn as I learn to understand or accept others better.
And allegorical metaphors with which to better explain my abstract thoughts.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I usually try to go out and do something at least vaguely social. It's usually a lot of fun.

Also at some point I'll probably eat something.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I really like Jacques Lacan and rope (independently of each other).

Just for the record, this doesn't mean I want to be tied up by you.

Nor does it mean I want you to "let" me tie you up. Like, obviously consent is important, but like, no bitch. If I ever tied you up, it wouldn't be because you LET me. It would be because you begged and groveled for it.

Here's the thing: I am wholly pansexual, but I mostly receive messages from heterosexual cis males on here. I think that many, if not all, heterosexual cis men who have messaged me on here seem to think of me as the object of their pleasure on some level. That is simply incorrect. As in, that is not how it works. I am the subject of my pleasure. And you are welcome to be a support verb, if we both desire that. Fair warning, I'm usually right about most things too often for most men to tolerate. I am a Mensan with a Google addiction and a love of stimulation, after all.

However, I promise I take direction very nearly as well as you should be able to.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're looking for an equal to match your wits but don't want to be attached at the hip or anything weirdly codependent like that. Preferably we share the (broad) life goals of progressively educating others to move the world forward and/or trying to make abstract or theoretical concepts and/or ideologies more accessible, and helping people.

I take myself seriously, but not too seriously (usually). Things I like sharing with my partner include a love of fine cheeses, snuggling with cats, and deep/expository discussion, since I enjoy learning as much as I can about new things. (Notable exceptions being sports, especially team/spectator sports, art films, and multi-player video games/MPORPGs.)

As for small talk... I'm sure we are both aware that there's a 30% chance it's already raining.