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39 San Francisco, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 6:44am
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from Ph.D program
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Okay), French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’m a recovered shy person. I think that the degree to which I used to be terrified of people (particularly girl people) is directly proportional to how fascinating I now find them. Which is a pompous, obtuse way of saying I friggin’ love people. I particularly love hearing folks’ stories and learning about their attempts to change for the better and make sense of their lives and struggles. I feel really fortunate to have found a career path that will allow me to do that as my calling. Which is NOT to say I will analyze you. I swear.

I’m also a recovered chubby kid, which I think keeps me (relatively) humble.

Aright, enough with the humbleness! Back to the self promotion!

I’m a little cynical and sarcastic (in a non-hurtful way). At the same time, I am an incorrigible smiler at babies and dogs. Seriously. It’s like a compulsion, as if my biological clock were trying to tell me I need to birth a litter of puppies, stat.

I’m passionate and opinionated and my lefty, librul heart, she bleeds. Still, growing up in the South taught me that not everyone whose opinions I disagree with is necessarily stupid or irredeemable. My middle finger starts twitching almost as much when I see a Prius with a smug, self-congratulatory vanity plate (worst yet-OUR PART) on the road as when I see a full-sized Hummer....

I make a genuine effort to do well by the people that I care about. I think I’m a kind person and I take honesty, and making an honest effort, very seriously. When there’s conflict in relationships, I try my best to assess my role in whatever is going on, own what’s mine, and make changes when I can.

I like stuff. Doin’ stuff. Fancy stuff (museums, opera). Less fancy stuff (baseball games, playing pool). Active stuff (hiking, running, gym). Sedentary stuff (movies, coffee shops, Sundays with the Times in Dolores Park). Y’know. Stuff.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working with veterans as a psychologist in San Francisco. I love, love, LOVE the work! Came to the Bay Area for grad school in 2005. Pre-grad school, worked with at-risk young'uns and families in Colorado, New York, and the Bay Area. And I grew up in SW Virginia. Which has all left me with a really bizarre patois and little smidges of accents from all over. Have yet to say, and hope to god never to say, 'hella', though. Conversely, I will defend 'y'all' to the death, as perhaps the greatest contraction ever devised!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
A buncha stuff. Trying my best, crossword puzzles, managing crises, working with kids, being honest. Oh and jaywalking and parallel parking (thanks NYC!).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm sort of a gigantic person. I also laugh quite a bit. Just that I'm a big, gigantic laughing person, I guess would be my answer.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I unfortunately don't have much time to read for pleasure, but fave books from the distant past include American Pastoral, Giovanni's Room, The Emperor, Tales of the City, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, & And the Band Played On. Love catching flicks and go to the Castro Theater a couple of times a month. Ones I come back to include It's a Wonderful Life, Raging Bull, All the Real Girls, On the Waterfront, Miller's Crossing, Edward Scissorhands, Thin Red Line (HUGE sucker for anything by Terrence Malick), Dr. Strangelove, The Interrupters & Manhattan. And I pretty much memorized Raising Arizona in college. Music taste ranges far and wide, too all over the place to summarize. I will say that I would do terrible, terrible things if Tom Waits ever asked me to. Food? Yeah, I got nothin' against food. I eat it often. That said, I find endless dinner time conversations about whether that's a hint of elderberry or thistledown or bumblebee turd that one is detecting to be near the top of the list of Annoying San Francisco Affectations...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my family/friends, Sunday New York Times, coffee, Tom Waits, NPR, honesty
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How my life might be different if I had been given a really cool, sexy name at birth. Like Devon McFoxyngton. Or Hercules Fistpump...

Also, songs that made me nostalgic before I was old enough to have anything to be nostalgic about. I well remember being choked with tears and moved to my very 7-year-old marrow by Against All Odds and Total Eclipse of the Heart, as if I were mourning all the losses and heartbreaks of a lifetime before they'd even occurred. Ever remember feeling that way? Strange...

Where that poor baby tiger with the chain around its neck that everyone is petting in their profile pics lives and how much he must detest white people. In a related vein, how I ended up being the only person in SF who hasn't been to Machu friggin' Piccu...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Varies quite a bit. Prefer dinner and a movie with a friend or two, or getting to bed early to wake up and explore on Saturday. Big fan of live music. I'm not a big drinker, having pretty well brutalized my poor liver during my 20s. Definitely not a teetotaler, but if gettin' hammered is a HUGE part of your life, we're probably not the best match. Still love a good dive bar and a few games of pool, though. Only thing I'm particularly averse to is clubbing. Don't like the clubbing. Not one bit. No siree.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
One fine morning, at around the age of 12, and in the midst of a particularly brutal and prolonged awkward phase (see last pic for photographic evidence), I was enjoying a bowl of cereal, shirtless and in my tightie-whities. Suddenly, I heard the voice of my older sister's staggeringly-attractive, terribly-intimidating best friend coming my way, fast. Hemmed in by the kitchen table and lacking a viable exit, I dropped to the floor and did a sort of duck and cover, hoping she might veer off course. Alas, she did not and rounded the corner to stumble upon me crouching, chubby, and whimpering in my Fruit of the Looms. And that's why I can't eat Honey Nut Cheerios to this day.

Also, I sometimes put potato chips on my sandwiches.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Until probably like my mid-20's, I devoted a lot of energy to trying to be cool, or at least trying to behave in a manner that wouldn't draw the disapprobation of the cool kids. I was never very good at it though, and all the vigilance and affectation it required got exhausting, so I pretty much stopped trying. We'll likely be a better match if you abandoned the quest for coolness at a healthy age as well. Also, if you're capable of being deeply moved and love that about yourself.

And you're kind*. And you value introspection and can tolerate me when I fuck up and apologize (hey man, it'll happen) and own it when you fuck up too. Everybody poops. Not all can admit it, though, and I prefer those that can.

You laugh often, can make me laugh, and aren't afraid to be silly. You have a quick mind and a quicker wit, but are also capable of being deeply still and can remind me to do the same.

You may like soccer. Hell, it's an exciting sport. Used to play it myself as a boy. But you have never, unless you grew up abroad, referred to it as "football". Come on. The same goes for signing emails with "cheers". Unless you're British, Aussie, or Ted Danson, please just stop it.

*PLEASE NOTE: this is not a stupid oblique marijuana code word.