I'm a self-obsessed, sarcastic, judgemental, gossiping crazy-person. I tell great stories, I'm a hit at parties, I have insane adventures.

I'm a champion drinker and I know most things about bourbon. My refrigerator is empty and my house is so devoid of food that I enjoy showing people the desolation just to see their shocked faces. How do I live? What do I eat? It's anybody's guess at this point. All I know is that I sleep like a baby -- I wake up every 2 hours screaming and starving.

I am excited, yes, and yes. But not really.

I recently decided, "Hey! Enjoy yourself!" So basically I'm enjoying myself more. I need to travel more although I've certainly been no slouch in this department. I'm sincerely trying to get better at giving people nicknames.

People are good at what they practice. I feel totally justified that I practiced being a nerd for so many years because that junk totally paid off. Now I'm practicing being a not-nerd. Recent cool-guy accomplishments include pluralizing wordz with a "Z", drinking an old fashioned and paying $14 for a hamburger (tight).

The first thing people *should* notice is that I've got a new cool jacket. Literally everyone I know is talking about it; it's a pretty big deal. The inside pockets are labelled with tiny little patches so that I'll know what to put in them. My favorite is the flask pocket followed by the old-timey phone pocket. It's ironic because an old-timey phone wouldn't fit. I keep gum in that pocket.

If you notice me in the jacket and you need gum, I probably have some. The second thing people notice about me is how much I hate sharing. DO NOT ASK FOR GUM!

Established, universally awesome bands like Pixies, Of Montreal, Fiery Furnaces, Neko Case, Morrissey, Stereolab. Also, recent cool-dude bands like Animal Collective, Morning Benders, Passion Pit, MGMT, Phoenix, Dirty Projectors, Surfer Blood, Vampire Weekend, Girls.

Is Pearl Jam awesome? Yes, but that's likely the nostalgia talking.

tater tots, spaghetti, whiskey, scotch, garlic, bacon

People, lunch, month-long vacation, crazy-hilarious friends, bacon-fried tater tots, music.

Jokes. People. Relationships. Outer space. Success metrics. Seriously, how do you really know when you've achieved?

Finally taking a night off! I like going out on Tuesdays. But I'm probably going out anyway. Friday's the best time to visit your friends in Oakland because... f*ck Oakland on a weeknight.

Gross.

You've got your wits about you or at least some place you can find.