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33 M Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:59pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has cats
English (Okay), Japanese (Poorly), Italian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a weirdo. I'm inappropriate. I like to tease. I like to be teased back. I don't take life too seriously. Neither should you. I don't dislike dogs, they're just not important to me. I will ask you about you and your life. This shit is important. I'm content being alone and doing things alone. But good company is sometimes better. I'm smart, but sometimes I say and do stupid things. I'm generous and thoughtful, but sometimes I lack foresight. Show a modicum of interest.
If you can't handle that, back the fuck out and don't waste my time. If you can, don't yet abandon hope. (See what I did there? Just some Dante reference. NBD.)

It's been a while since I started this profile, and while not a lot has changed, I feel it's in dire need of a reboot. Just so I can maintain film rights.

Some boring stuff: I grew up in the South Bay (Torrance), went to school in upstate New York, came back to LA 12 years ago and have been here ever since.

My sense of humor can be dry, sarcastic, subtle, overt, inappropriate, wildly inappropriate, understated, self-deprecating. Occasionally all at the same time.

I pride myself on my spelling, and writing coherent sentences. Speaking coherent sentences is a completely different matter.

I love astronomy and the cosmos. Griffith Observatory is the shit. I need more Carl Sagan and Neil deGrasse Tyson and Michio Kaku in my life.

I designed and built my own bed. I went to Lowe's, bought the lumber and supplies, cut everything down, assembled, and stained it. There have had to be some structural modifications since then, but it's pretty stable right now. I want to build a bookshelf next.

I love the Oxford Comma. If you don't use it, it's not a deal breaker, as long as you're consistent. Though I'll never figure out when to use "whom."

I have a horribly selective memory, so I tend to ask people the same question multiple times. But then remember the oddest detail. Sorry in advance to anyone who falls victim to my (lack of) memory. Or maybe I'm a horrible listener. You be the judge...

I'll probably call myself out on my own shit before you have a chance to.

ISTJ for those who care about those things.

I don't follow any sports teams, but I'd be happy to root for yours and trash talk the opposing team. Except NBA. Fuck NBA.

If you got through all of that, I'm looking for a best friend, travel partner, lover, drinking buddy, sous chef, team member, someone to help pick me up when I fall down, and someone to laugh with at all our dumb jokes. Hopefully this would all be one person.
What I’m doing with my life
Front-end web development for a large entertainment company for profit. Hiking and lifting for health. Live music and movie-going for fun. Everything else for the children.

Yes, I love my career. I'm happy to have found a path in which I'm successful, talented, and challenged.

Trying to travel more.

How do I filter out everyone who responds to this question with "living it"?
I’m really good at
Talking about absolutely nothing. Tangents upon tangents upon tangents, and then wondering where it all began.
Working efficiently under pressure.
Finding the perfect gift.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have no clue. I can be pretty quiet when I first meet people, unless it's one on one. My boldness negatively correlates with the size of a crowd I'm in.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Ok, I'll try to keep this short. Admit it, no one reads this section. I only ever skim it for common ground in a conversation.

Books: Asimov, Vonnegut, Mieville, Philip K. Dick (can't just say Dick...), Y: The Last Man, The Walking Dead, Locke & Key, A Song of Ice and Fire.

Movies: Primer, Dark City, Fight Club, Iron Giant, Cube, The Goonies, Labyrinth, The Fountain, most sci-fi, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Shows: House of Cards, Silicon Valley, American Horror Story, The League, Orange is the New Black, Workaholics, Parks and Rec, Curb Your Enthusiasm, the old days of Sunny, Wonder Showzen, Sherlock, Downton Abbey, Breaking Bad (RIP), LOST (fuck tha h8ers), Dexter (RIP).

Music: Alkaline Trio, Bon Iver, Arcade Fire, .moneen., CAKE, Gogol Bordello, We Were Promised Jetpacks, Frightened Rabbit, The Pixies, Pearl Jam, Weezer, Alt-J, Tapioca and the Flea (new favorites).

Food: Everything. Feeeeeed me, Seymour! Not big on sweets, though.
The six things I could never do without
The interweb.
Caesar salads.
Wheat beers.
Good entertainment.
The cold underside of a pillow.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Time travel. (Loved All You Need Is Kill and its film adaptation Edge of Tomorrow. Seriously go watch it. It's smart and fun, they just marketed it horribly.)
What I'm going to say when I get to the front of the line.
That I mangled the sentence I practiced saying.
The universe.
How to solve a work problem when I'm using the restroom.
Why zombies are so fucking popular.
Chucks on girls. Huge turn on. Seriously.
Voicemails are a lost art form. I love leaving them and I love receiving them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking or reading or watching or playing or any combination of those four.

I choose to relax on Fridays and Saturdays and party on a Monday or Tuesday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think feet are pretty gross in general.

Dickbutt always gets a laugh out of me. Yes, I'm 14 and a half.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
You know what you want, you don't play games, you're over the fact you're on a dating website, and you're not a flake. And if you can convince me to stay in LA. Or if you can pull off a side-cut. So hot. Otherwise, bring it on. Feel free to compliment or degrade me as you please.

P.S. I feel like this profile makes me sound like a bore, but I promise I'm a fungi.

P.P.S. I'm here to meet people, and while no one wants a pen pal, I'm a little burnt out on the dating scene, so bear with me if we start messaging and I'm not in a hurry to ask you out.