Am Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar and the barman says... or rather, is ABOUT to say when he is rudely interrupted by, you guessed it, the Englishman, the worst type of Englishman, a Londoner, [boo hiss go the audience].
'I know this one' He declares, 'why the long face?'.
'No, that's not it!'.
'Sit down you thick fuck'.
From the other two. And we shall leave them arguing for a bit and focus on the main, and often disregarded character in these stories, the bar man himself.
So, what kind of man is he? Well firstly, though he enjoys being a barman it is by no means his dream fulfilled. He, like many of his profession, finished uni and continued in the same job. He recently moved to Edinburgh to begin following his childhood dream of being a writer (critics should move that this profile is being composed on a mobile phone and so should make allowances for structure, grammar etc, at least until suitably edited). He is a loving, caring man, he believes in giving the homeless man a couple of quid even if he knows for a fact it will be spent on special brew, he doesn't judge. He abhorrs injustice and cruelty. He is loyal, very open-minded, is very aware and loves that the world is made up of many different people. All in all, he's just the kind of man that everyone should have as a friend, but then I am biased, you've probably guessed why.
So, back to the joke.
'What's this?' Says the barman, pointing.
The Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman stop arguing just long enough to see what the barman is pointing at. They stop, and stare aghast at what was transpiring before them.
'I don't fucking believe it' they say in unison. 'It's a...
And there the story ends, message me if you'd like to hear what they say next.