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26 New York, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:18am
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Art / Music / Writing
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Gonzo is my spirit muppet.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have a small television career as an actor. It's a love/hate relationship. When work in that area is slow I do freelance work as a production assistant, seasonal stuff for carnivals and haunted houses, or boring bar stuff. Hobby-wise I dabble in sound synthesis and digital art.

I think I might be more happy leaving the city and living in a shack with a parrot or a very loyal owl and a small pipe organ or something, but that won't be happening for a few more years.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Catching and picking up cats
Taming angry, fat cats
"Sink or swim" type scenarios, except not literal ones
Calming down angry people
Riling up angry people
Eating ridiculous amounts of pasta
Drawing like a talented highschooler
Walking around in spring stilts

I'm sorta good at:
Playing theremin & programming synthesizers
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Once a very attractive middle-aged woman with bandages on her wrists whom I had never met before stopped me in the street, extended her hand, and said "You look truly marvelous today."

Also I have a dorky Charlie Chaplin type walk that I do unless I'm consciously trying not to.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Clark Ashton Smith, Harlan Ellison, David Foster Wallace, J.G. Ballard, Guy Debord, H.P. Lovecraft. Also a ton of comics - Daytripper, Frank, The Maxx, Blankets, Lint, lots of student work/independent comics.

Movies: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Cemetery Man, Kissed, Eraserhead, Fargo, The Five Obstructions, Mr. Lonely, American Movie, Phantasm, Nightmare on Elm St. 1 & 3, The Cruise, Songs from the Second Floor - I love and appreciate many more movies than this. This is just sort of a taste sampler.

Music: Alien Sex Fiend, The Books, Crash Course in Science, Timber Timbre, Daniel Johnston, Grimes, Crystal Castles, Bauhaus, John Maus, Joy Division, The Residents, R. Stevie Moore, Jeffrey Lewis The Legendary Pink Dots, Tunng, Units, Fad Gadget, Siouxsie and the Banshees Nervous Gender Wire (etc.) Also just a taste sampler.

Television:The Maxx, The Regular Show, Adventure Time, Louie, Parks and Rec, Girls, Freakazoid, Bob's Burgers, Slings & Arrows.

Everybody Loves Raymond makes me feel more uneasy about family life than Eraserhead.

Food: I love food so much. I'm getting hungry right now as I'm typing this, thinking about Penne Gorgonzola. Pasta and hamburgers are probably my favorite. I'm into trying new things, but my general taste is not that exquisite. Breakfast burgers on croissant buns. Food is great. I've been named an honorary fat man by more than one big dude.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good ideas, bad ideas, people I really love talking to, and some sort of synthesizer with a flexible architecture/great modulation matrix. I go kind of nuts if there isn't a way for me to manipulate sounds for a few days.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
A Gremlins/Adamms Family crossover.

What if I paid more attention in science class as a kid?

Fantasizing about playing a bumbling camp counselor on a Nickelodeon TV series with John C.Reilly as my boss.

Stories I'll never finish.

What the hell are people talking about when they say love? Everyone experiences things so differently that it's way too much of a vague and dogmatic term. At best, I guess it's a convenient oversimplification. At worst, I think it can actually hamper communication and actually make it harder for two people to grow together. That said, other times I'm thinking "WELL GOSH I SURE DO JUST LOVE THIS PERSON SO DARN MUCH."

Also, death, the probable evaporation of consciousness, and leaving a positive impact on other people's lives before that goes down. Better get started on that, because right now my legacy is mostly just a few TV cameos and a bunch of janky tunes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Catching an after-party for something somewhere but missing the actual event.

Or doing really bad Forest Gump impressions with my brother that just get louder and worse and louder and worse as we repeat different quotes until eventually, somehow, we're both Bubba shouting "WHUT HAPPENED FORRUST? WHERE ARE YUH FORRUST?!"

Or maybe I'm listening to ambient music and reading about octopi and texting friends stuff about octopi while they're out trying to dance or hookup or something.

Or maybe I'm getting seran-wrapped to a stranger by a performance artist at a bar, although I think that might have been a Tuesday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Many years ago, I met a girl on here looking for a "partner in crime", so we stole a bunch of beer and beans from a superstore - which makes me both a literalist and a retired super villain. Now you know.

I also have a shameful and secret obsession with colorful expensive designer monster toys. Not the stuff that looks like 3D printed graffiti, I mean those awesome Bob Conge masterpieces.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You feel that time and experience is more important than space and money.

You're immature and jaded.

I'm mostly on here to meet like minded people. As a pale, big-eyed lanky dude I stumble into dates just fine in this city - it'd be nice to have a friend or partner to do some serious slacking, some serious art making, or some serious exploring with.

I love people with tons of potential and passion but "no future". Not even being sarcastic. Live slow, die whenever, as a brilliant sloth once said. These are the types I have the happiest and most memorable long term relationships with.

As for all you other lovely and wonderful people who aspire to find yourselves with houses and cars and families one day - or maybe just "have your shit together", I'd be happy to make a brief cameo in your life but after awhile you will likely find that I don't fit into your plans. I just think it's good to be honest about these things early on.