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54 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:54pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Atheism, and laughing about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Politics / Government
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

**Update: So I'm changing my location back to SF as it looks like I will be here through July, and probably December. After that it is up in the air, though I'm very open to staying. My possible locations are SF/Berkeley-Oakland, SD, Sonoma County, Long Beach, and even Honolulu. Yes I know that doesn't narrow it down too much, but I've got to be flexible for grad school.**

For a long while I've worked for environmental non-profits and political campaigns, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. Now I'm preparing to go back to grad school for Counseling Psychology, with a personal, informal emphasis in Eco-psychology. Feeling the calling. Grad school will be a haul but I'm pretty excited about the future.

I would love to meet a smart, funny, sexy woman for best friend/lover/life partner fun. I'm looking for an equal. You don't need to run marathons, or single-handedly be saving the whales, or have traveled to 100 countries. You just need to be comfortable being you. If we like each other, that will be more than enough.
For those of you familiar, I scored as an ENTP on the Myers-Briggs, and yep that pretty much nails it.(Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving). I'm a native NYer so I still have a definite edge to my personality, but laid back California has mellowed me out some. I am deeply attracted to smart women (sapiosexual), and really appreciate tenderness and gentleness. I am looking for real intimacy, not just sexual (which of course is great), but emotional as well. I'm looking for my lover to be my best friend. If this makes sense to you, keep reading.

Over the last 5 years I've made the switch to vegetarian, and am now working on removing sugar from my diet. Tougher than I thought - who knew how big a role ice cream played in my diet! It would be great if you were vegan or vegetarian, but I'm open to dating a meat eater. Rest assured I am not a vegan/vegetarian Nazi, and will not lecture you or give you the stink eye if you order a cheeseburger.

As I am very liberal, anti-religion, and anti-violence we probably wouldn't be a good match if you're a Republican, a bible-thumper, or a gun nut. Or materialistic (if you're unsure whether you are, here's a hint: if you wear makeup and jewelry to the beach, well...). Just saying. :)

I've lived all over the country and have come to love many different parts of it. I especially love the silence of the desert (CA, AZ, NM), the timelessness of the ocean (Hawaii, CA), and sharing my walks with critters in the woods (DC, yes DC, Seattle). One of the appeals of San Diego is easy access to beach, mountains and desert. I strongly feel my future will see me living much closer to nature. With sounds of the surf, the woods or the desert filling the house at night. I would love, if the cards fall right, to move back to Hawaii after (or during) grad school.
What I’m doing with my life
Working and saving money, and clearing away all obstacles so that grad school is as fun as possible.

Wagging more, barking less.
Staying open to possibilities.
Following the passion, not the path of least resistance.
Forgiving, loving, laughing.
and being grateful...
I’m really good at
I'm intuitive and perceptive about people, and really good about separating the essential from the non-essential.
The first things people usually notice about me
Some people have mentioned that I'm easy to talk to, usually after they've told me their life story.
Often I get mistaken for being much younger, sucked when I was in my 20's but not at all bad now.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
All time favorite books: 2 that really changed my life were Walden (he was right about so much, it gives one hope to find one's own path) and the Sherlock Holmes short stories (he always knows what the right thing to do is, and never lacks the courage of his convictions). Raymond Chandler. Stieg Larsson (almost makes me want to move to Stockholm). The Time Traveler's Wife. Such an emotionally powerful book, the fastest 500 pages I've read in forever! So sweet and sad at the same time, like life.

Movies: too many to list. Last one I saw that moved me, All is Lost. An oddly gripping film, with one of the most underrated actors, Redford, if you sit with it and let it tell it's story it will take you somewhere. The ending was sensational.
Last Call at the Oasis. El Secreto de sus Ojos. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, both the American and Swedish versions.
To Kill a Mockingbird (all-time best film Dad). Ordinary People. The Professionals (a little seen Western, Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin and Robert Ryan). The Cincinnati Kid. Rear Window.
12 Angry Men. The Best Years of Our Lives (big Myrna Loy fan). Curtis Hanson (LA Confidential, The Wonder Boys, Lucky You). The Alien films. Amelie. A Very Long Engagement. The Seven Per-Cent Solution. The Big Lebowski (nice Marmot), V for Vendetta, and the list goes on forever.

Music: anything that makes me want to dance, but especially the Clash, X, Iggy, Bowie, ska, punk, some Stones, English Beat, Specials, PJ Harvey, Talking Heads, The Specials. Also Neil Young, Jack Johnson. And of course the Grateful Dead, first song I heard on the radio that I REALLY wanted to hear again was "Uncle John's Band". One thing I really want to do is update my musical tastes. The Killers: "All these things that I've done"

Food: Italian, Mexican, though I'm expanding my repertoire.
The six things I could never do without
a little help from my friends
The ocean
Hot showers (I CAN count, but this last was just too important to leave off)

and now for some things I could do w/o in our world:
mean people
organized religion
thinking violence makes you a man, but human sexuality is dirty
people who think life is so sacred they bomb family planning clinics (wow, if there is a god, are they in for a surprise)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to create the life I want in this the second half of my life.
When I can get to the beach (parts of 5 years in SF leaves me really missing the beach), or into the woods, or out to the desert next.
Whether we can be free of those things that imprison us.
Grad school.
How to give up sugar, when most food tastes terrible without it. :)
On a typical Friday night I am
Could be found doing almost anything, I march to my own drummer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Hmm, such fertile ground. Let's try this, although I have mainly lived in big cities, I strongly feel the pull of living away from the noise of modern life. There is something fantastic about hearing only nature. The sounds of the beach are like music to me, and the silence of the desert is downright spiritual. When I lived in Honolulu, I would walk to the beach late at night and it felt as if I had the island to myself. When in Albuquerque I would drive outside the city, to the desert and just watch the stars. Moments like these made me feel the connection to our home (nature) that is lost in the city.
My ideal for the future is to live somewhere that allows the excitement and the culture of a city, but also the quiet and nearness to nature that is increasingly hard to find. San Diego fits the bill. Perhaps surprisingly, so does Honolulu. I've lived there before and am open to moving back.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 34–54
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
1) You like anything you've read, because I'd love to hear from you.

2) You are serious about eventually meeting in person.

3) You are emotionally open and ready to meet someone.

4) You've been honest in your profile. I know it can be hard, but take that leap of faith with me. Honesty is where it's at.

5) If you are looking for a deep connection, because so am I.

6) If you are more Susan Sarandon than Sarah Palin.

7) You can date someone who lives car free. I don't really need one at the moment living in SF, so to be without a car is almost a blessing right now.

8) You are young in mind, body and spirit, regardless of age.