It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them—and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on—this desperate need—and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.
-Madeleine L'Engle-The Small Rain
Came across something else that really made me smile. . . it was written describing a woman, but the more I thought about it, I would hope that you too would agree that it could as well equally befit describing a man. . . substituting pretty for handsome, etc., of course, 'nuff said:
Your body makes you sexy;
Your face makes you pretty’
Your smile makes you gorgeous;
But its your mind that makes you beautiful. . .
If you can relate to this without taking umbrage, then you'll easily understand what about you would most attract me to want to earn your respect as a future lifetime's bestest friend and journey's partner!
Read something else in yet another woman's profile that really struck me as having said it all, in but just the few words spoken. . . I am searching to discover a woman who would understand and equally value having a pardner who would strive to excel at reciprocally being found as "worthy adversaries" - sparring partners who can also proffer an intellectual workout, companions, lovers, and in that journey, become and remain committed best buds.
Everything else now being presented after that is but to just share with you sufficient grounds to either become further intrigued, or to leave quickly knowing for a certainty exactly why you would much prefer damned near any other man to suffice in my stead as your much preferred alternate as follows:
Although I have previously written entirely too much about:
1. what I had first thought was actually important for someone to have been able to have considered in determining
2.whether I was serious about taking the responsibility to make another person's investment of their time in
3.discovering whether I might become someone to sit up and take notice to consider
4. whether I might just be the one to thereafter come to enjoy having as your very bestest friend and life long companion,
5. after having discovered the following missive about what all is really the best distillation I've ever yet read regarding what I believe remains the closest and dearest to my own heart found in these matters,
6. I honestly believe that in my lifetime, I have never previously read discovering anything so profound, as deliciously complex or as directly so best summarizing damned near everything that I have ever learned to have adopted and believed is so directly on-point important in describing what remains to be prioritized as singularly necessary to have to exist being found between myself and someone I would love unconditionally,
7. in the lifetime process being enjoyed while discovering the respect and love to be found for another than what was so described in this piece as follows:
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic,
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to
the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up,
after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or
how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside,
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
Anything else I could possibly add to the above is just surplussage, but with that admission freely first given, here goes what I would also additionally want to share with anyone seriously considering what might be found to remain of my better qualities and merits:
I was shared with the delightful privilege of having taken a "True Colors" personality test whose result described me better than I initially had ever previously ever even known my own self, good, bad and fugly summarized as follows:
A “Green” person will typically embrace adopting the following personality characteristics:
Believes in logic over emotion, in new ideas over standard operating procedures.
Workspace is littered with research books, computers and high-tech items - lots of projects are underway, and the focus is not on tidiness.
Dress is informal and utilitarian.
Manner is skeptical and intellectually challenging.
Strong needs to be competent in any endeavor they deem important.
Insatiable thirst for knowledge.
Has an astonishingly broad base of information, they usually know something about almost any subject.
Loves the mental challenge, will be restless once they’ve mastered the challenge or solved the problem, they want to move onto something else.
Opposition does not intimidate them.
Ability and interest to analyze everything.
Incredibly self-assured, confident and not easily influenced.
Not impressed by a title or authority; only impressed if person is competent at what they do.
Voicing their opinions and fighting for what they believe in comes naturally to them.
Their work gives much of their self-esteem, all work and no play.
Living as a Green:
When communicating I like to think before I speak.
My communication approach is often objective and strategic.
I tend to talk about theories, new ideas and future plans.
In communication I dislike looking stupid.
I tend to communicate to figure things out and solve problems.
When people watch or experience me in communicating, they would say that I tend to analyze and ask questions.
Interacting to improve communication and help brighten a Green:
Provide information when they request it instead of getting defensive.
Recognize the value and usefulness of their work.
Notice when they are being complimentary.Honor their privacy and allow them independence.
Demonstrate logic for rules.
Consider their ideas.
Understand their sense of humor.
Don’t try and force him to make you their priority.
Pay attention to what they need or want.
Strengths found in a Green personality:
Sees the larger bigger picture.
Sets and maintains high standards.
Challenged most when someone says it can’t be done or is impossible.
Focuses on mission of organization.
Builds conceptual frameworks or systems.
Examines consequences analytically and impersonally.
Intellectual strategist architect of change.
Conceptualizing and designing especially with regard to organizational change.
Can see the core of complex issues or problems.
Inordinate ability, interest and desire to absorb knowledge.
Personal value and belief systems typically held by a “Green” personality:
Ideas, logic, knowledge, independence, analysis, research, technology, innovation, clarity, data and information, intellectual achievement, time to think, systematic approach.
Personal needs typical to a “Green” personality:
Accuracy, timing, challenge, opportunity to ask questions, time to understand, truth and facts, information, intellectual stimulation, know-how, experience.
Stressers typical to a “Green” personality type person:
Blocks imposed on their ability to display intelligence.
Overly sensitive people.
Being limited to standard curriculum.
People who don’t try and solve their own problems.
When they don’t understand or know something.
Incompetence, made to look incompetent.
Not sufficient time to gather enough data.
Boredom and redundancy.
Lack of independence.
Rules that block progress.
Routine.Nothing new to look forward to.
Characteristics of a highly stressed or faded “Green”:
Refuses to comply or cooperate.
Putdowns and sarcastic remarks.
Refuses to communicate, the silent treatment.
Perfection tied to performance anxiety.
Highly critical toward self and others.
When disturbed becomes compulsive.
Stress relief techniques useful for a “Green” personality to achieve inner peace:
Balance your critiques.
Honor your independence.
Validate your interest.
Pay attention to your physical condition.
Invite yourself to make mistakes.
Recognize you can only change yourself.
Reach out to others.
That all having been first said, (which now fully explains why I would have been so compulsive as to have had to have answered soooo many questions and taken soooo many of the available tests. . . ), on the more personal notes side of the coin, I would also want to share your knowing that:
I take pride in wanting to respect and fulfill what are to be found as the needs and desires of my partner, and have learned to now know that I too need to be needed by her for fulfillment of these same regards considering it an honor to be so wanted as well as simply just desired. I have not ever yet been a player, nor to I ever want to become one, and instead I have been searching to discover one who can emotionally as well as rationally desire wanting to be finding a commitment to become my best friend and valued co-partner in what intends to become a long term, if not in fact a lifetime relationship that hopefully will never end for the rest of our lives. I have become rather accustomed to be loving having had thus far what could best be termed "a rustic rural lifestyle living", found in my having been living on my 40 acre "hobby farm" that is more like a nature preserve with two ponds, tons of white cedar trees providing a 50' wide perimeter all around the acreage that is found just 5 miles west outside of Madison, WI.
I love my son and two daughters, born 8/05, 8/01, and 1/00 respectively, and my now five chocolate Labrador female dogs, and have particularly enjoyed having lived to have made a very tangibly significant difference in each of their lives such that if you are blessed to have had any family of your own, I would embrace earning their respect and affection no different than how I have successfully continued to have remained particularly significant with those of my very own. I would sure look forward in anticipating that you would love mine reciprocally as I would want you to want me to earn your respect in loving your own children as though they had been my very own.
I have enjoyed founding and operating multiple small businesses all of my life since I was 12 years old, I have made and lost several small fortunes, and would love to do it all over again with having the right partner with which to share all of the great fun with, as well as the risks and rewards to be gained from having cultured yet another enterprise undertaking having been yet again, well done. I believe I am worth making an investment in, and particularly savor what I anticipate would be the opportunities presented for me to reciprocate back to you my giving back long term dividends of unconditional love and understanding from my heart, soul and every molecule of my very being. I love problem solving and finding optimum solutions... Looking for someone who also appreciates the quality of life found uniquely in living a rural lifestyle, one who also loves animals and kids, and like me, has become considerably the wiser for now having lived a robust and wonderfully full complex life, such that you too have come to have an understanding that yours and my own life's "baggage" is exactly what makes each of us valuable now to the other, to be found worthy of having lived such a well self-examined life, as well as to be looking forward to becoming appreciated for having woven the fabric that has become the substance and positive force now grounding, as well as driving what is to become the future tomorrows of our present lives.
I am self- introspective, communicative, still vulnerable and capable of unconditionally loving when respected. I have not yet forgotten the exhilaration that remains possible only when operating without need to construct any preclusive emotional safety nets remaining between myself and the ones that I would want to love and be loved so enthusiastically and wholly reciprocally and unconditionally.