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29 Chicago, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Jan 26
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a fantastic son of a bitch. People like me!

I'm extremely loyal and thoughtful, just ask around.

I am a spastically funny oil painter. I'm barrel-chested and boisterous, but also dry and analytical. Extremely forthright, honest to a fault. Salt and pepper hair. I've been told by many that I possess "retard strength" (their words not mine, although if you are offended by the "r-word", we probably won't get along). I don't play videogames unless we're at an arcade.

When I was younger, I was very shy. I eventually realized being shy is a waste of time (especially when it comes to meeting women). Now I make an effort to skip the awkward beginning and just be gregarious.

I'm sometimes overwhelmed by my hatred of white people.

My best friend Ebenezer is a lab/pit/boxer/hound. We're a package deal.

Oh, and I'm looking for a relationship. I've never understood "the thrill of the hunt." I want a best friend that I can't stop fucking. Little spoons apply here.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Oil painting. Sometimes acrylic if I procrastinate long enough. I recently got a couple jobs doing some graphic design. I'm completely self-taught. Learning on the fly, autodidact uninformed. Check out my stuff if you like...

I also work at a couple bars to make that cold, hard cash.

I wish I didn't enjoy doing nothing so much.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Creating, conversing, cooking, making people laugh, making myself laugh, judging. I also make my own BBQ sauce to which all my friends are addicted.

Headbanging to odd time signatures.

I do karaoke impressions of Michael McDonald. And Meatloaf. And Aaron Neville.

Sentence fragments.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My laugh. The volume of my voice. My overt gesticulation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Bukowski, Steinbeck, Ray Bradbury, HST, Christopher Hitchens. Anatomy books. Philosophy.

P.T. Anderson, Stanley Kubrick, Coen Bros, Tarantino, Terence Malick, Martin Scorcese, Charlie Kaufman, Michel Gondry, David Fincher. Documentaries. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is my favorite movie.

Conan, Deadwood, Louie, VEEP, Jools Holland, NBA basketball, SCIENCE channel.

Queens of the Stone Age, Pink Floyd, Tame Impala, Radiohead, Grizzly Bear, King Crimson, Talking Heads, NIN. Post Rock - Tortoise, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Pelican, Russian Circles, Do Make Say Think, El Ten Eleven, Battles. Classic rock; even if I don't like the song, I still might sing along sarcastically in a lovely falsetto or rich, sultry baritone. I'm a drummer; I like a tight rhythm section. Gimme some Bill Withers or Led Zep on a summer day. Music keeps my nostalgia healthy.

If you listen to pop-punk, please grow the fuck up.

There are few foods I won't eat. I love to cook, especially for others. My favorites are usually simple foods done extraordinarily.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Music, food, comedy, oil paint/brushes, my dog, my imagination.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Explaining modern conveniences to a time-displaced Benjamin Franklin. What my paintings will look like when I'm 50. What I'm gonna do next. How much I hate anime.

Phrases I dislike, such as "It is what it is" and
"Get over yourself".
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably working. If I'm off, and you insist we go out for a drink, I'd like the destination to be a dusty dive with old men mumbling to themselves and bags of Fritos for sale. Oh, and a sweet jukebox.

Maybe I'd be painting. I only work at night really.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My name isn't Greg Taymos.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're kind and thoughtful. You love art. You know a lot of words. You like to laugh and have quality conversations. You're nocturnal. You appreciate a constant, good-natured ridicule.

You sometimes utter sentences and then immediately realize that it's highly likely no one in linguistic history has ever put those words in that order.

You don't define yourself by your happenstance geographical location. "I'm just a Dakota girl..." BORING.

You don't worship the almighty dollar. You are a woman, not a girl. You aren't vacuous and annoying with a shrill voice. You have the time to get to know me.

You like breakfast in bed.