This is a dating site profile.

I fall into your undoubtedly shifting versions of "handsome". (You dare question a bunch of obscure literary figures?)

I like moonlit nights and long walks on the beach. I also like knitting and making sweaters of kittens. (Ed: Don't you mean "for" kittens?)

Umm, yeah, for kittens.

I'll eat everything you make me and tell you how delicious it is. Unless you're vegan, which means that your food has no life and I will always tell you it sucks that there are no animal parts in there.

Sometimes, honesty gets the better of me (says the guy with the dead poets profile pics), but ladies like honesty, right? Right? (*crickets chirping*)

I've dated girls who:

Are afraid of water
Are afraid of aliens
Are afraid of men (long story)
Are afraid of baby carrots
Think "pancakes" is a swear word

So, if you have a neurosis you'd like to introduce to me, I'll get to know anything at least once.

Oh, and don't believe everything you read in a dating site profile. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Writing the next great slacker novel, because the great Filipino novel has already been written, and I cannot rehash scenes with so much carabao love.

I could do science fiction / fantasy, but I'll be waiting 'til the cows (carabaos?) come home before both genres become legit in this country.

I've done movie and documentary work. Sometimes I feel the need to scrub my soul. But there's no steel brush hard enough....

I'm also a creative consultant and started a company. And no, that doesn't mean I rely on puppets when being consulted. (Clowns though...)

Writing, public speaking, contemplating (Ed: he meant brooding, the twat), rhetoric

Dark, brooding eyes and dark, brooding sensitivity... (because people notice those things...)

Movies: Anything with Olivia Wilde in it, making me the first person to publicly admit watching "Year One", and Franco-German art house crap if I feel like stroking my ego and wearing a beret. And yes, I can sit through an entire Terrence Malick movie.

Books: The Cannon of Western Literature, because I like big guns and context-busting misspellings. Oh, and anything pretentious magazines tell me to read because I can be a clueless rube if I want to... so there...

Music: Classical, Country, Alternative Rock, a little R&B, and bagpipes (I live near a place with lots of cats)

Foods: Any cuisine with meat on the menu

Pen (in case I need to write on my hand so I'll remember what I did last night.)
PC / Laptop (I don't do Mac. I think different.)
Books (Makes me look smart)
TV (Makes me look smart to certain kinds of girls)
Smart phone (What else will I use for a watch?)
Wallet (For all my receipts)

Human nature. The depths and heights, the depravity and holiness, all that man can be, are all of great interest to me. And no, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I promise. (fingers crossed)

Then some guy makes a dick joke and it all goes away.

Sometimes, I am thinking of turning people I come across in real life into characters I can play with. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Telling (screaming at?) some girl why I think she should be in my next movie.

I don't like the way I look in pictures. My gray coloring and late 19th century couture leave much to be desired.

Just kidding. Check the photos tab and scroll past the dead white guys.

If you're fun...

If you're reasonably attractive...

If you can tell me how in the world an "activity partner" isn't just some schlub you do stuff with, like your accountant...

If you can tell me what a paradox is...

If you prefer to meet up than talk endlessly online...

And if you like weird conversations with a guy who talks to a plastic T-Rex when confronted with existential dilemmas...