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grumpyacademic

45 M Ypsilanti, MI

My Details

Last Online
Nov 1, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I'm not "grumpyacademic" I'm an aspiring academic. Before that I worked in warehouses. (Which means I swear too much. On the whole, my 20s sucked. But stuff got better.) I have thousands of books, a huge vocabulary, and I suck at scrabble.

I'm funny, smart, articulate, cynical, silly, sarcastic, childlike, analytical, perceptive and lazy.

I'm good with my hands, an above-average cook, like a beer or three, and quit smoking cigarettes (again) over four years ago for health reasons -- yet I still hang out with smokers....

I can't hear in the dark, I'm very individualistic -- but concerned about what that implies -- I dislike religion in many forms, but my tattoos can be read as flat-out pagan. I don't dislike kids, but I don't want any. I like all cats and many dogs.

I'm reasonably nice, reasonably honest, and sometimes a little boring. I talk a lot, consider myself a third wave (if you like taxonomies) feminist. I like parenthesis and tangents. I often have trouble completing the original thought, because I'm getting to be more of a flake as I get older. Or less interested in hiding it.

I'm built like a bouncer. By which I mean thick arms and legs, wide shoulders and pelvis, barrel chest, and a fat gut. It's not a conventional build, but one that is good at (a) moving heavy things and (b) making my friends feel safe. Yes, I really have had people offer me their ID when I was just sitting someplace drinking a beer.

Never married, no kids, no convictions, and I moved out of my parents' basement in February of 1992. I don't want to move back -- it isn't heated, and is now full of power tools and sawdust -- I like tools (and sawdust), but not so much for cuddling.

I am overeducated, underemployed, and fat
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Screwing around on-line instead of working. Missing my nap (or sometimes not). Going for a walk. Applying for Real Jobs.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Standardized tests. Figuring out how things work. Procrastinating. Bullshitting with postmodernists. Asking questions. Talking to old people. Finding stuff in any library. Cooking. Being goofy. Thinking abstractly. Contradictions. Eating vegetables. Cuddling. And some other stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You'll have to ask them. Sometimes I look sort of scary.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My tastes are varied enough that a specific list is pointless. So instead, I'll point at some genre I find amusing.

So (A), these days, I mostly read nonfiction books -- particularly history, philosophy, literary criticism, and law. For fun, I like genre fiction, including mysteries, SF/F (less now than when I was younger), and romance novels. But I'll read anything good. Or bad. Including (literally) the phone book.

Regarding (B) Movies (heh), I tend to like artsy stuff, trashy stuff, action films with chicks that kick ass, and standup. Fair warning: I tend to talk during movies.

Regarding (C) Music, I'll listen to anything, but recently I've been listening to Donnas and L7 when I'm writing. Yay Clitrock!

Want more information? My as-of-this-writing MP3 playlist: Aimee Mann, Amy Winehouse, B52s, Black Flag, Buckcherry, Clash, Cupcakes, Demolition Doll Rods, Detroit Cobras, Donnas, Fionna Apple, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Hammerbox, Indigo Girls, James Taylor, Jewel, Johnny Cash, Judas Priest, Kingsmen, L7, Lime Spiders, Luscious Jackson, MC5, Meredith Brooks, Paula Cole, Rainier Maria, Ramones, Shesus, Sista Otis, Sleater-Kinney, Temple of the Dog, UB40, Veruca Salt.

However, it'll be different by the time you read this list.

Returning to the favorites, and (D), Food, I'm not sure it matters. I'm pretty much a vegetarian and have some other dietary restrictions, but I'm well-mannered enough to get along with my omnivore friends. Most grown-ups are. What else? I eat a lot of Quorn (aka Soylent Hippy). Bananas (even diluted, even the smell) make me want to puke.

Why is this interesting? Will someone read that I adore good falafel and fall madly in love with me?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Coloring outside the lines, a couple of the OK Cupid comparison numbers for me seem very wrong. It's probably pretty obvious which ones. Ask if something strikes you as bizarre or worrisome, and I'll make up a credible excuse.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sometimes I spend hours randomly browsing wikipedia. A favorite passage: "Enki is not a jester or trickster god, he is never a cheat, although fooled he is not a fool. Enki uses his magic for the good of others when called upon to help either a god, a goddess or a human. [...] Enki is always true to his own essence as a masculine nurturer. He is fundamentally a trouble-shooter god, and avoids or disarms those who bring conflict and death to the world."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I don't think I have a "typical" Friday. Maybe a set of common options. In general, I'd prefer to be out with friends. Ideally, I'll be sitting someplace with a beer, talking to a good friend.

I read someplace recently that, for fortune cookies, you often get funnier results by appending "except in bed."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My dad was a shop teacher, so I'm always a little startled to (re-)discover that not everyone has a tablesaw in the garage and makes their own kitchen cabinets.

I'm good at working with wood and metal, but someday I'd like to learn more about using stone, brick, and tile.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–47
  • Near me
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Why are so many OKCupid users into Ayn Rand? I've seen a whole slew of women who list Rand as author of a favorite book.

I've read some Rand, and that's just weird.

No, I don't want to talk about Rand. I will, however, rant (amusingly? maybe) about how stupid and ineffectual her ideas are and how horribly she writes.