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30 M Mechanicsville, VA

I’m looking for

  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 21–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:13am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from high school
Art / Music / Writing
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a chubby guy of Irish-Italian descent who insists on keeping his hair long, his facial hair intact, and a sketchbook by his side whenever possible.
Cold weather is always better than hot because blankets and thicker clothes can be utilized for cold. I can only remove so many layers when hot and stripping out of your skin is both frowned upon by society and expensive to get professionally reattached.
I have a nasty habit of not doing the whole siding with extremes that people like to do now. This side against that side and who's absolutely right or wrong is a fairy tale whether we're talking about religion, political parties, or television. They're all varying shades of rubbish.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Twice a week I do the art for the webcomic Voodoo Walrus which can be found at

The rest of the time I'm drawing comics and commissioned art for any folks who have an interest in exchanging cash for custom made artwork.

I also work retail part time. It's a fascinating thing to do when you go at it from the perspective of someone who sees toddlers as a waste of meat that could be nourishing apex predators. Or you're constantly judging people for buying nothing but diet soda and frozen pizzas in bulk.

Any time I have beyond that is used for bettering myself mentally, attending burlesque shows to support performer friends, or spending the majority of my Octobers being a creepy bastard at a local haunted hayride.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being a Psychic Art Wizard

Being almost annoyingly understanding of both sides of an argument.

Listening. It's how I actually get to know people. It's a lot easier to get to know someone if you're willing to just listen to what they're saying instead of waiting for your turn to talk or the chance to try to debate a point with them.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The top hat gets noticed first. Then the sketchbook. Then they often realize I look like someone they know and assure me that they know my clone or some such thing. Sorry no. There's just a high percentage of white guys trundling about out there that are a bit on the heavy side, descended from a Mediterranean/Western European mix, wear a lot of dark colors, and maintain the moustache-goatee combo.

That... or there are many other Grymm's out there, all making sure never to actually cross my path because they know that as the Alpha Grymm I would first attempt to enslave them into helping me make more art faster, or failing that, go all Highlander on them and attempt to slaughter them and absorb their Grymmish essence into my own, thus becoming a more powerful version of myself.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Johannes Cabal: The Necromancer, Stephen King's Dark Tower series, the Discworld series, the Russian urban fantasy Night Watch series, Sandman Slim, Ender's Game*, John Dies at the End, almost anything by Warren Ellis including Transmetropolitan (Spider Jerusalem is my hero) and Crooked Little Vein, Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, and Battlefield Earth is a guilty pleasure**.

*Yes. I am aware of what a bastard the author is, doesn't change my enjoyment of a book I've owned since childhood. In fact, he has the exact kind of personality that deserves to be hit by a bus of rabid badgers and then defiled by hideous deep sea monstrosities. But that fact remains that Ender's Game actually gave me something to relate to as a child no matter what a weapons grade douchecanoe the author is.

**Yes yes. I know Scientology this, L. Ron Hubbard that, but all made up religion insanity aside, I find it to just be a fun read about Scotsmen being badass and obliterating an intergalactic empire with nuclear warheads.

Music! Glorious music:
Natalia Kills, Better Than Ezra, Terrence Zdunich as Lucifer, Foster the People, Amanda Palmer, Emilie Autumn, NiN, Snow Patrol, All American Rejects, Snow Patrol, Finger Eleven, Dezeray's Hammer, Amanda Palmer, David Bowie, Fiona Apple, Collective Soul, Soundgarden, Muse,Mindless Self Indulgence, Garbage, Funeral Suits, Electric 6, Manson, Eve 6, Of Monsters and Men, Mountain Goats, Foster the People. There's others too, but seriously, let's not get ridiculous with this list. Most recently, I'm playing, replaying, and grooving to Awolnation and loving them a little too much.

Food! I'm a recovering picky eater:
I use to side pretty heavy with chicken, Italian, Chinese and seafood. Recently I've been expanding my palette with various other things though.
My complete aversion to sushi is a nuisance though considering everyone I know thinks its the greatest thing ever and each of the dozen or so times I've tried different bits from different places it's tasted like what I'd imagine the dirt on a pond floor would taste like or completely tasteless with a gag reflex inducing texture.
That said, I'm still perfectly happy to venture out with people to get sushi, just as long as I can partake in maybe a nice fried rice or lo mein dish while they sate their sushi craving.

I'll always love the first Ninja Turtles movie and the Ghostbusters movies. And the two Addams Family movies from the 90's will always, always, always be offerings that will never cease to entertain me. Oh, and the Iron Man movies. Also Fight Club, The Dark Knight, Hellraiser, Scott Pilgrim, and anything that allows Nic Cage to be at his Nic Cagiest such as Vampire's Kiss.

Shows, mostly of the animated variety:
Steven Univer, Venture Brothers, Invader ZIM, Gravity Falls, Motorcity, Daria, Scooby Doo Mystery Inc, The Critic, Regular Show, the first Avatar series, Adventure Time, the new Ninja Turtles.
There's not too much I'm fond of outside that realm. I've found I enjoy Doctor Who, Supernatural, and Sons of Anarchy, but not enough to bother with watching television to see them. I can wait for Netflix to get new episodes.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-The internet. Without it, I wouldn't be able to make money as I currently do, wouldn't be able to entertain, horrify, tantalize, and confuse thousands of people, and I wouldn't be able to easily find reference images for stuff I need to draw. It would be a tragedy.

-A really good pen. A good pen can be so many things. A reliable way to fill out paperwork. A convenience when you want to jot down scratchy notes quickly. A tool of entertainment when combined with a napkin while waiting for a restaurant check to come.

-MY INCREDIBLE BRAIN (Shit. The inflection that should go with that exclamation is totally lost in text form. If you know what Invader ZIM is, imagine it being said very ZIM-ily. I like me some ZIM. The word ZIM has now lost all meaning is sounds strange doesn't it? ZIM.)

-The loyal minions I stitched together out of pygmy alligators and guinea pigs. They're fluffy, useless, and taste of chicken.

-Good conversation. Provide me with it or I'll send you a guineagator pig. Or I won't whichever is more of a punishment in your eyes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The way the human brain works when interacting with others.

How technically the essential "Me" is like a tiny incorporeal pilot seated in the front of my skull experiencing existence by way of this huge, ungainly meat machine that lumbers around and does less than optimal things sometimes. Just crashing and stomping around like an idiot while tiny essential me just face palms and wonders who the fuck calibrated the controls on this thing and why its functions are nearly impossible to customize/control.

Compromise and grey areas. In fact, you might have noticed between some bits of the profile here and many of the questions I've added explanations to, I'm very much against anything that's reduced to black or white or binary outlooks. Even things that aggravate me I can still often parse the good and valuable from. Or at least I can rationalize their existence.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably drawing wobbily naked bits unless someone introduces an alternative plan to me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You just want to run amok in the dead hours of the night when all the sensible people are slumbering away.

You find yourself yearning to rewatch the entirety of Daria or George Carlin's stand up once a year or so.

You stare down small children in public spaces for the express purpose of exerting dominance or cultivating fear in them.

Or if you just want to have ridiculous conversations that may or may not have any actual bearing on reality or possibility.

If you believe that there's more types of relationships that can exist between human beings other than just friendship, romance, or sex.