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gsxr687

26 M Wilmington, NC

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:43am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Other
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
What I’m doing with my life
Living it to the fullest!
I’m really good at
Jumping out of cakes!
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm not really sure but you can let me know what you notice first so then I'll know :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Basically anything that catches my interest, I am pretty random.
On a typical Friday night I am
Please stop with the personal lap dance requests. I only do Batchelorette party's, birthdays (the one where I jump out of the cake with nothing but a banana hammock on), female only office parties, Avon parties, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, Tupperware parties, tea parties, and female sex toy parties.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Do not message me if you are a stripper, bartender, waitress, aspiring actress, Scorpio, or if you have implants....it never works.