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27 Portland, OR Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 22–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 7″ (1.71m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've never murdered anyone before, and I don't think I'd like it.

I shoplifted once in my life to impress some girls I thought were cooler than me. I was drunk, 18, and the object was a chocolate egg. I announced to the entire store that I was going to steal the egg. I dropped it twice on my way out, but no one stopped me. I sat down in the car, cracked open my victory egg, took a bite and said "god that's disgusting" and threw it out the window.

The friendship with those girls didn't really last. But! One is a nun now! Surprise!

This all goes to say: I'm a generally moral person, often through convenience rather than conviction.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I just moved to Portland from michigan to go to culinary school and angstily move on with my life. I'm still figuring out EVERYTHING. In two weeks I'll be starting school, and I'm working on finding restaurant employment.

I ride a dorky bike. I cook all the time, and I generally want to eat everything in this city. My dollars & my feminine figure aren't appreciating it, but fuck it, yknow?

I read a lot & write when I'm alone. I like drinking, dancing, singing & carrying on with others. I like exploring weird places and being in the woods.

In my past life, I was a pie-maker, a breakfast slinger, and a general goofball. It's fun for me to move across the country and reinvent myself. Trying to convince everyone I'm a retired goth - it's not working out.

I'd be tickled to meet a beautiful and interesting man, but I really don't know anyone out here, and would love to even have a friend to hang out with. I like jokes, drinks, being outside, and talking about racism - and I'd love to hang.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making pie, shaking my fist at the sky, drinking whiskey, eye-contact, ostentatious faces, small talk for five minutes.

I used to play piano. I used to be a poet. I used to have long hair, then I had short hair, and now it's kind of in the middle. I've always been bad at grooming it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have big eyes that bob around a lot, so usually that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Since my life is cooking, I read a lot of cookbooks and food thing'ems. Here they are:
-The Third Plate
-Cooking With Fire
-Blood, Bones & Butter
-lucky peach magazine
-Kitchen Confidential

And other books I've liked:
-history of the world in 10 1/2 chapters
-wind up bird chronicle & Kafka on the shore
-amusing ourselves to death
-Tess of the d'urbervilles

I go on random binges into a genre, it seems, but some perennial rump shakers:
The Pixies, Wu-Tang Clan, Fleetwood Mac, Harry Nilsson, The Fugees, The Beatles, outkast, Kurt vile, Orchestral Manuevers in the Dark, of Montreal, Kate Bush, Laurie Anderson, and the sound of my beating heart.

Movies: I rarely watch anything twice because I feel pummeled by how many good movies exist. Even bad ones are good to watch. I wish I could watch movies all the time and I CAN'T.
The Godfather 1 is an all time fav, cool hand luke was a recent fave. One of my best friends had a terabyte of Hong Kong movies and a projector so I used to go over there and watch KUNG FU! What fun!

I'm also a big fan of Aladdin. Rip genie :(

Ugh. Cheese. Cured meats. Fresh meats. Succulent breads.
I used to be the pie lady, so I like those, but tend to be picky. Fuckin' love ramen and sexy Indian food.

Ice cream is the key to my heart.

Apparently I don't watch as much tv as my cohorts, 'cause everyone be like "OMG, how have you NEVER seen THIS show DUDE." And I don't know. I don't know how I haven't seen every show.
But I've liked:
Comedy bang bang, breaking bad bad. Mad men men, Garth merenghi's dark dark place, scrubs, twin peaks, naruto, pinky & the brain.
I don't really watch cooking shows. I'm not against them, but they make me angry. Either they're doing tons of tight shit I wish I knew how to do, or they're being dumb and making money from being dumb. Both are frustrating to watch, so there's a bit of a truce between me and cooking shows.

Oh! Except mind of a chef! That shit is dope!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Jokes in conjunction with friendship
2. High quality cheese
3. Bourbon
4. Pretty dresses
5. Make outs
6. The Pythagorean theorem
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-If I can cook for the rest of my life.

-what road is this? Was I supposed to turn here? Shit, I'll turn around up here, wait that's a car. AHHH!!

-oh he's cute. I wonder if he laughs at 9/11 jokes. Wait, do I laugh at 9/11 jokes?

-9/11 jokes and their complications.

-why can't they make compostable cigarette butts

-would starting a cult make me happy

-And what huge brains we have, and if having such huge brains is doing much in the way of making us happy.

That's about it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Pretending it's 2045.

Friday night.

The coast is clear.

I'm wearing my leather.

Just hopped off of a bike.

It's made out of thoughts.

Interstellar, cosmic thoughts, hyping up an engine that'll fly faster than your sister's panties when Brad Pitt walks in the room.

Except it's 2045, and no one remembers who Brad Pitt is.

Because we're all busy eating each other's flesh because the meat industry has long collapsed and we've forgotten how to farm.

Buy Local.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was homeschooled.

I was also on a puppet team for 6 years.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-you don't mind, and maybe even enjoy, talking about food in excruciating detail. If You know what gluten is, and get excited looking into loaves of bread to see what they're working with, let's get married.

-you're funny, you're handsome, you're not scary and you like to have fun but care about safety precautions.

-you can teach me how to slaughter a chicken

-you like having a drink and making jokes, and know your way around Portland. I'm getting there!