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gwynmonster

25 F Vancouver, WA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:12pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 7″ (1.71m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Very often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Gemini
Education
Working on two-year college
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I'm a baking student, a comic book junkie and a fan of floral tattoos, of which I have many.

Friends are very familiar with my "just saw a dog face." Their responses lead me to believe it looks like half seizure and half being hit by Joker Venom. So, I dunno. Be warned.

Sometimes I like to do impressions of Jon Stewart doing impressions of President Bush. Not a full sentence or anything, just that creepy little chortle.

Emoticons make me cringe. If you use them though, that's cool. Snobs aren't cool-- don't be a dick, y'all. However, I really don't like them, and if you use one right off the bat, it'll definitely affect whether I respond.

Two years ago I got in a fight with a garbage truck down South. Since this unfortunate maiming, I have gnarly scars from the knees down, and none of my original skin on my right calf. So, err-- be advised.

I grew up in the North West and have lived in Asia and Louisiana besides. Travel is shiny and, like voting, should be done early and often.

Frequently I make bad choices (see above), but life knocks your ass around if you're doing it right.

My dresser isn't just filled with yoga pants and pop culture t-shirts, but it's pretty close. I have a wicked teefury addiction.
What I’m doing with my life
Cooking things and playing pool. Baking school.

I used to say here, "Sometimes I volunteer at the Sunshine Kittenplex Blowjobs Emporium," you know, as half joke, half litmus test for douchebags, but the amount of douchebags responding made me sad, so... yeah. Part of what I'm doing with my life includes not hanging out with douchebags.
I’m really good at
Making biscuits and gravy. I make a banging dish of biscuits and gravy. Regenerating muscle tissue. Cooking most things, actually. Writing incomplete sentences. Not riding bikes, apparently. Drinking. Throwing darts.
The first things people usually notice about me
My psycho curly but not curly hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Name of the Wind, Song of Ice and Fire, everything David Sedaris and anything by Sarah Vowell. Kurt Vonnegut is deep down in my heart (and across my collar bone). David Rakoff, Anthony Bourdain, the occasional travel memoir.

I'm pretty down with the New 52. I LOVED All Star Batman and Robin, and want them to finish it up in a big bad way. Old Man Logan and Hawkeye (current) are my favorite Marvelverse books. Neil Gaiman forever.

Kevin Smith is one of my favorite people in the world, and everything he's done is magic. Comic book movies in general, though, I think the only technically "good" ones are Iron Man and Nolan's Batman (as far as live action; animated Batman is the shit). The Departed and Perfume are two favorites. So are Love, Actually and Hard Candy. Judd Apatow's movies make me laugh, I know they're formulaic and I don't give a damn.

EDIT: Captain America Winter Soldier is now my favorite Marvel Comics movie. Holy mother of fuck, that was amazing.

Side note: how old fashioned is the phrase "give a damn?"

Really though, my taste in movies is all over the place. I don't do well with horror, unless it's very fantasy or sci-fi charged. Even then, I'm a big damn cotton candy ass about it. But, through my fingers or no, if it's worth watching, I can be convinced.

Shows I'm not self conscious about liking: Game of Thrones, the League, Community, Firefly, Cowbop Bebop, House of Cards, In the Thick of It, Orange is the New Black, Arrested Development, Anthony Bourdain's anything, the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, the Rachel Maddow Show, Kroll Show, Archer, the West Wing, Veep, Sherlock.

Shows that are guilty pleasures, but I don't give a fuck: Agents of Shield, Arrow, Real Time with Bill Maher, the Soup, South Park, Parks and Rec, Castle.

Show's that are guilty pleasure, and I cast my eyes downward when I admit to liking them: Hemlock Grove, True Blood, the Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, New Girl, American Dad, (sometimes) Family Guy, Iron Chef, Brooklyn 99.

Cake, Death From Above, Eagles of Death Metal. Mogwai, Love and Rockets, Kasabian. Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed, Tom Waits. Gorillaz, Atmosphere, Mac Lethal. Brendan Benson, Alexi Murdoch, Blind Pilot. Special mention: No Doubt, Offspring and the Bloodhound Gang. I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU.

Most anything Asian; Thai and sushi at the top of the list. Italian, which I never let myself eat because I will immediately gain ten pounds. Everything Mexican, soul food? Cajun and-- you know what? This is getting ridiculous I really like everything. Except for Chicago style pizza. There's not a lot Jonny Stew and I disagree on.
The six things I could never do without
The BBC, hoodies, clunky boots, Stuff You Should Know, the Smodcast empire and Earl Grey Tea.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to trick my hair into being curly, without actually having to do things. Or own things. Things like hair dryers and curling irons and stuff. Those things and I don't get along.

Chopsticks work pretty well.

How often I make typos and grammatical mistakes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Recuperating from the school week with beer and pool and puppies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I am truly taken aback by a thing, I stammer, but in a pretty weird like, record scratching kind of way.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 21–37
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You possess mad deductive reasoning skills.

Also, when I say "casual sex" I don't mean message me with, "yo, wanna bone."

To me, casual sex is a person who I am buddies with, but don't want to date because we're not compatible for a proper relationship.

So, this means that if we went out, for a bit, had chemistry but didn't feel like a relationship was a thing that was going to happen, a sex friends thing might occur. It is not the starting point, however.

PSA: If you have a shirtless photo up, I'll probably judge you.