Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
First and foremost you have a picture of yourself that's not been
taken from half a mile away and its not been taken through a
bathroom window - you know what I mean !
If i have my picture on here you should have yours, its only fair!
You can be arsed filling out your basic information and answering a
few questions, if your too lazy to do that how do you expect to
find a match ?
You're into keeping yourself fit or at least look after yourself,
sorry but i don't want a couch potato or someone who says they
don't have time to keep fit, cause sooner or later you'll be asking
me why I'm going to the gym again, the answer to that is because I
want to, I'm not gonna change for anyone, if you have time to watch
TV you have time to do some form of exercise even if its going for
a walk, I don't mean to go on but this is something I'm passionate
P.S thought this was funny I'm sure there's a version about blokes
as well !
Translating women's descriptions of themselves !
Adventurer: Has had more partners than you ever will.
Average looking: Ugly.
Beautiful: Pathological liar.
Contagious Smile: Bring your penicillin.
Educated: College dropout.
Emotionally Secure: Medicated.
Feminist: Fat; ball buster.
Free spirit: Substance user.
Friendship first: Trying to live down reputation as slut.
Good Listener: Borderline Autistic.
New-Age: All body hair, all the time.
Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only.
Poet: Depressive Schizophrenic.
Professional: Real B*tch.
Redhead: Shops the Clairol section.
Reubenesque: Grossly Fat.
Romantic: Looks better by candle light.
Voluptuous: Very Fat.
Weight proportional to height: Hugely Fat.
Wants Soulmate: One step away from stalking.
Widow: Nagged first husband to death.
Young at heart: Toothless crone.