Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


36 Oklahoma City, OK Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Dec 14
3′ 0″ (0.91m)
Body Type
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of space camp
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*I filter out short messages (under ten characters) and messages from matches under 78%, so I probably won't even see it in my inbox of it falls into either of those categories.*

Sorry, dudes, your princess is in another castle. I'm not lookin' to date anyone; I just like to answer the match questions and sometimes use the locals app.

Spoiler: I'm not really married. I just put that so people too lazy to read my profile won't bother talking to me. See, I'm already lying to you. It will never work. I have made a few new friends here, though, and we can maybe hang out sometime...unless your intentions involve pieces of me in the trunk of your car. Or my car. Any car, really.

I take photos of jumping spiders. I'm sarcastic, clumsy, and perpetually unimpressed, but I'm rarely unhappy. I work in the equestrian industry and like to visit other places in my personal time.

I enjoy people who have a decent sense of humor and/or want go hiking, exploring, etc. Teach me something I don't already know, and I'll adore you. For a few days, anyway.

I sometimes forget about this site for weeks or more at a time, and I, shockingly enough, get a lot of messages. So, don't assume I'm ignoring you just because I don't send an immediate reply. Especially don't assume that and then send one or twelve (true story) really angry messages. If we're a 90%+ match/friend or you seem like someone I'd really get along with, there's a decent chance that I'll respond to you eventually, so long as you don't intend to cut me into pieces (see above).

I live with my two best friends: ssssssnakes & dnvsfn. Yep, they're dudes, and we own our house, so they're not going anywhere. If that's the sort of thing that bothers you, we probably wouldn't get along, anyway. We travel a lot and like to meet up for beers via the locals app.

Here, I have an instagram:

PS I don't want to hear about your dick. For reals.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Designing, makin' websites, photographing, biking, playing in creeks, catching lizards, enjoying nature and science, etc.

Whenever I'm inside, I'd rather be outside. Except when I'm napping. Or when it's super cold. Fuck cold.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Elaborate and sometimes wildly inappropriate pranks, eating artichokes, falling down, napping, and purposefully creating awkward silences.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This is the part where I list things that I like about myself in an attempt to convince you that I'm beautiful, charming, intelligent, and desirable to others. Sorry, too lazy.

"They notice my eyes, which are made up of no less than one million sparkling colors, many of which you've never even seen before."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'll read, watch, listen to, or eat just about anything. Except for peas. Peas are so gross. Milk is gross, too.

Sometimes I watch interesting things on Netflix. I will watch any horror movie, even in spite of the most awful reviews. And I'll make you watch it, too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I can accomplish quite a lot with some dill pickle sunflower seeds and a solid alibi.

I'll save the other slots for an emergency.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Saltwater, ways to escape in various scenarios involving murderers, ways to get away with it in various scenarios involving me as a murderer, and jumping spider species I haven't seen in person yet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm in Mensa and have to make Ls with my hands to figure out left and right. SMRT.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like witty banter that borders on verbal abuse.

You should not message me if:
You put "oxygen" under the six things you could never do without.

You're going to freak or be offended if I either don't reply or take two months to reply.

You want to be my slave. This seems to be a common mistake around here, but I'm not a dominatrix; I'm just an asshole. I only enjoy berating people when they don't like it.

Fuck right off:
People obsessed with Dr Who, mustaches, or bacon; people who bitch about "mah tax dollars"; homophobes; racists; .net developers.