Will dance willingly and not badly.
Will sing German lieder in the shower.
Will pine for Vermont snow and California sun.
Will not constantly interrupt you or fart on you intentionally.
Will prepare a boeuf bourguignon with My Bloody Valentine blasting.
Will sometimes pay good money for the right to run a long, painful foot-race.
Will adore some Lars Von Trier films and walk out in the middle of others.
Will do a serviceable Tom Brokaw impression and Massachusetts accent.
Will go camping – or not.
Will not try to “win” everyday conversations.
Will nerd out over guitar amplifiers.
Will play Neil Young songs on small acoustic guitars.
Will talk to your mother and/or friends.
Will eschew pissing contests with other male bipeds.
Will dabble in vegetarianism and then backslide.
Will “wing it” when necessary.
Will melt cheese on it and put shallots in it.
Will go running in a downpour.
Will sometimes greet the evening with a finger of Lagavulin or Laphroaig.
Will avoid most television, except the undeniably great stuff (Louie, Breaking Bad, Colbert, etc..)
Will travel light and dress in layers.
Will live in the present.
Will be a streaky bowler and pool-player.
Will not weave in traffic or use the passing lane for anything other than passing.
Will detour for up to 20 blocks for a good slice of pizza or bowl of ramen.
Will somehow never get sick of The Godfather whenever it pops up on television.
Will often catch things that I’ve dropped before they hit the ground or on the first bounce.
Will leave a perfect Mickey Mouse shaped chest-sweat pattern in any shirt I run more than a few miles in (I’m not kidding –I have no explanation).