Will dance willingly and not badly.
Will sing German lieder in the shower.
Will not constantly interrupt you or fart on you intentionally.
Will prepare a boeuf bourguignon with My Bloody Valentine blasting.
Will consult maps.
Will adore some Lars Von Trier films and walk out in the middle of others.
Will do a serviceable Tom Brokaw impression and Massachusetts accent.
Will go camping – or not.
Will not try to “win” everyday conversations.
Will pretend, if need be, that Dave Matthews doesn’t suck.
Will obsess about guitar amplifiers and small acoustic guitars.
Will play Neil Young songs on small acoustic guitars.
Will talk to your mother.
Will eschew pissing contests with other male bipeds.
Will have that second beer.
Will dabble in vegetarianism and then backslide.
Will “wing it” when necessary.
Will empathize and seek empathy.
Will melt cheese on it.
Will cook with shallots and real butter.
Will go running in a downpour or snowstorm.
Will avoid most television, except the undeniably great stuff (Louie, Breaking Bad, Colbert, etc..)
Will travel light and dress in layers.
Will live in the present.
Will be a streaky bowler and pool-player.
Will not weave in traffic or use the passing lane for anything other than passing.
Will push through lactic acid buildup.
Will walk up to 20 blocks for a good slice of pizza or bowl of ramen.
Will somehow never get sick of The Godfather whenever it pops up on television.
Will often catch things that I’ve dropped before they hit the ground or on the first bounce.
Will leave a perfect Mickey Mouse shaped chest-sweat pattern in any shirt I run more than a few miles in (I’m not kidding –I have no explanation).
Will enjoy meeting you over coffee much more than via email.