Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm that guy, the guy who shows up at the party shy, but eventually
has the lampshade on, and never touched a drop of alcohol.
I'm a sucker, a bad liar, and I like to tell stories with only a
toe-hold on reality that sound plausible if only physics were
different or giant bats existed. I sing terrible renditions of
Queen songs at the top of my voice, and I will delight in
embarrassing the shit out of you in public, and when you break down
and join in the silly-making, you'll know just about all there is
to know about me. Once you've pushed beyond the envelope, you'll
find me, afloat on a raft made of puns lashed together with awful
I am Alexander Hamilton, Yani, and Brilliance, in one!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Work and school mostly, two jobs and a few units a semester. Slow
and steady wins the race, right?
I want to have a family large enough to crew a series of boats; my
children will become my pirate crew, and together, we will sail the
seas, stealing bigger and better boats until we have overtaken an
AEGIS missile cruiser and use it to terrorize all of the seas.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing stories that people seem to like (to my face, anyway);
reading; being a walking dictionary; un\intentionally cutting you
down like I was a lumberjack in a redwood stand; dressing up as a
semi-retarded hunchback with an unfailingly positive attitude and
then dressing the hunchback up in different costumes and going
places to meet people. Yes, costume within costume, I am that
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You have such beautiful red hair, oh where did you get such
wonderful hair, oh GOD I wish I had hair that color, is it natural?
Uh, thanks, lady.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A. Three books: One Hundred Years of Solitude; The Things They
B. Children of Men; LA Confidential; Ninja Turtles the Movie and so
C. Sufjan Stevens; Iron and Wine; Queens of the Stone Age (Eagles
of Death Metal); Wilco; The Arcade Fire, scads of other
D. Food is kind of a chore; curry; spaghetti; burritos; sandwiches
are usually delicious; the perfectly prepared steak is always nice;
snow peas; fresh pineapple makes me a glutton of the ugliest sort.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books, I know from experience, are one thing that I cannot live
College ruled paper, because when I don't have it, I am driven
crazy by my desire to possess it, even if I won't write anything on
Being silly. Not being silly like is losing a limb; there are
phantom pains, and when repressed, the crazy just oozes out in
Music, also from experience, is a luxury I take for granted way too
My good friends.
Downtime; without it I get mean, and nobody like it when I get like
that, least of all me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Silly, silly things. Giant bats, car accidents, wandering children,
space travel, firearms, nightmares, computers, youtube, dice games,
zombies, algebra, Achewood
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At work until 7PM, and then free the rest of the weekend, which
could mean getting drunk and crashing Christian singles dances,
shaking hands with a thousand people as Randy, The Misshapen
Ambassador of Goodwill, working all damn weekend at the other job,
bored from a lack of friends being off work or not lame, being lame
myself, or exhausted to the point of collapse.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no idea what I'm doing, or saying, and I will inevitably
offend you in a way that brooks nothing less than an exhaustive
apology. Terrible statements come out of my mouth, almost at will,
and are, for the most part entirely harmless. If I don't remember
your name later, I will remember you by your most salient feature
(like the girl nicknamed "Blitzkreig," because the Germans could
drive from her eyebrows across her forehead and never make it to
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to; if you want to have a good time just hanging out; if
you want to talk about music, movies or books you like; if you're a
hot single cheerleader who likes doing nerdy stuff but feels guilty
like a Catholic about it; if you like impromptu karaoke in bars,
parking lots, etc.; if being even a little weird trips your
trigger; giant bats swoop down, steal half a man walking in a rain
storm, and messily devours his torso from atop the KFC sign across
the street in your short fiction; because you wish giant bats
swooped down and messily ate people torsos atop KFC signs in your
short fiction; oh, how I do go on.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.