...that I keep forgetting my age. Someone asked me today and I was like, "ehh, 26? 27?" Later I did the math--yes, in my head--and realized that was not true. Now I feel kind of awkward.

Why are you all driving PT Cruisers? It's like every 3rd car I see is a PT Cruiser. It's exceedingly strange. Also, they're very ugly and their fuel "efficiency" is ghastly.

Is there some kind of selective thinking/subjective validation thing going on? There is at least in part, I'm sure... but they're EVERYWHERE. Like kittens. Cute homeless ones that you'd take home if only your dog wouldn't eat them. :(

I wish I could have a cat.

Ok, that might have been a bit harsh. I don't. Not really, anyway. It's just so... gross outside. Where did the sun go? Why did the freezing rain have to hit 5 minutes after I took the kiddies to the playground, forcing me to run around and herd them back inside as if they were hyperactive sheeple? WHYYYYY?

If it doesn't break soon, I may go a bit nutters.

Or nutterier.

What? It's a word. Don't judge me.

Grah.

me: I just made myself wake up from a nightmare in which a zombie clown--yes, a zombie clown--was chasing me, and every time I glanced back, it was closer, even though it did the slow-moving-zombie shamble.

me: I had to share the horror. lucky for you you're online.

friend: you're pregnant

me: sweet. lactation.

friend: ew

me: you started it. this is me finishing it.

It's not even about the minor insecurities, reservations or nerves that plagued me when I was younger. Now there's just a general weariness and the desire to nap or have lunch with a good friend rather than meet some internet-interesting potential "something" for coffee--only to find out weeks later that there's no interest or inclination to continue anything.

I'm either becoming cynical or I just love naps way too much. I'm betting it's a combination of both.

In any event, during those rare times--like now--when I'm not working, or working on something that needs immediate attention, I think it'd be nice to meet new people. Then I go back to wanting naps.

Through the fireplace, into the living room. My Siberian Husky tried to eat it a few times, but luckily I shooed it through the dining room and into the kitchen, where I could then open the door and let it fly away--though not before it flew into every kitchen window and knocked over my little bag of sugar.

Amusement wars with perplexity--or maybe not--as I sit here trying to figure out how it actually got into the chimney.

Hmm.

I updated my profile to reflect said OKC intentions. Seems I say "bit" a lot.

It's not that I can't or don't have the opportunity to make friends in "real life." It can be done and has been in the past, but I find it draining and in the end: a waste of time.

My best friends and most significant relationships have mostly begun online. I'm a huge fan and I honestly don't care how anti-social or dorky that may sound. It has it's drawbacks and caveats, certainly, but mediums such as OKCupid are great in that you can pick potential friends as if you were shopping for veggies at the grocery store.

Which makes me wonder: I don't think I've ever eaten a radish... at least, not intentionally. Hmm.

Would you let your significant other join the military?

• Yes
• No
• I'm Not Sure Maybe Depends on the situation

People are not possessions.
The end.

I've been sickly and grumpy about it since Friday (thank you, small army of 3- to 6-year-olds and your free-flowing snot of doom noses) and have become exceedingly tired of watching bad Richard Gere movies on TBS whilst surely over-medicating myself on Nyquil, so I find myself screwing around online a bit.

Browsing random profiles, I came across this in someone's "most private thing I'm willing to admit" section: "And on a less private but quirky note, whenever I stick a Q-Tip in my right ear, I get the urge to sneeze."

I have to ask: does anyone else feel those semi-uncontrollable body urges when they stick things in their ears? I cough. It doesn't matter which ear it is, but if I push down a bit I can't help but do it.

I want to find someone who orgasms when cleaning out their ears. I haven't decided what I'd do with them yet, but it'd probably involve a quiet public place, like a library or movie theatre.

Just a thought.

I keep running across interesting-sounding people on OKCupid who live 100 or 5,000 miles away. Although the impulsive childlike part of me wants to send off a bunch of happy "WOW YOU SOUND REALLY NEATO please be my friend?" messages, the more realistic me realizes that I'll talk with someone for a week or four before life gets busy and all things net-related fall pretty low on the priority list. (Ignoring people isn't nice, and I've done it far too often in the past.) So while someone may seem exceedingly spiffy, the fact that we can't run out and get a cup of tea tomorrow precludes me from initiating contact.

A solution: I collect them. Like Pokemon. They go on my favorites list and when I find myself in another state or country--provided they're still active OKCupid members and their coolness hasn't changed--I pull them out for potential chitchat and hangouts.

Whee.