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hazelcpj

33 Seattle, WA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 22–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jul 27
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$70,000–$80,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello there darling internet stranger. Let’s start out this electronic-future-courtship with a little bit of good ‘ol fashion poetry!

You can pretend we’re on a lovely Victorian picnic, you in your tea gown and opulent garden hat and me in my dandy frock and ascot, both sitting under a friendly weeping willow with our initials carved in it! Love is in the air as your severe aunt stands by as a stern sentinel with a close eye on your chasteness and my meandering hands. But modesty be damned! Let my prose raise a rosy hue to your bashful cheeks and a primal purr most improper deep within your feminine core!

Spring time is aggravatingly close
and no one likes you when you’re morose,
so I’ve written for you
a haiku or two
in hopes of easing your woes:


Raining for nine months
Gloom and Grey growing heavy
Please birth a bright son


And here’s another one, my love, wrought from the very bud of my longing:

Your love I will earn
Behold my secret talent
I shit gold kittens
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I like to socialize; wit, banter, and terrific conversations are quite possibly the quickest paths to my heart. I have the ability to make those around me laugh until they cry or pee, a power which I mostly use responsibly. Usually though, I just laugh at myself… everyone else does!

Proponents of the expression "The Seattle Freeze" are lazy; I love getting to know the people and places of Seattle and I have met plenty of extroverted folk, granted to do so I had to boldly leave the safety of my home (and bar booth).

I am gainfully employed making giant robots and such to put together humanity's shiny, convenient flying machines. I don't work, nor do I want to work, for Boeing. I'm done with huge companies and their bureaucracy.

*Loves*
Lilacs, books, thunderstorms, Blue Heelers (Road Warrior!), graphic and 3D design, creating stuff on my 3D printer, salsa dancing, ice hockey, soul night, The Economist, cooking, discovering fun tucked away places in the city, wishing I could afford more art and then attempting to DIY it, PDX and Vancouver, my childhood memories of Butchart Gardens, swedish fish, snobby cheeses, laughing, the smell of Christmas trees and candle smoke, working out in a non-douche bag manner, happy hours, urban cowgirls (NOT Cowgirls Inc. style), playing tour guide, drinking coffee in the rain, bubbly females, educated females, tom boys, scuba diving, having fun with children, inventions, bonfires, attempting to play the fiddle (anyone want to give me lessons?), spontaneously meeting fun new people, snuggling way past our bedtimes because we don’t want to stop learning about each other, writing, trail running, riding my bike through gridlocked traffic, dinner parties, drive-in movies, freckles, someone who can keep me on my toes...and off of them, sledding, splitting firewood in the snow, stepping off the plane in a new land, the quiet part of the road trip when conversations have faded and we’re all just listening to good music and staring out at the stars.

*Pet peeves*
Nickleback, people who are only fun when they're drunk, Facebook addicts, Batman's stupid "angry voice", boring people, small talk about smartphones/pets/children/home improvement, grown men who play too many video games, Seattle's lack of traffic foresight, bureaucracy, complacency, faith in place of evidence, smugness, folks who refuse to bend the rules a little bit, whining about the "hardships" of insanely privileged life styles, people who think their beauty is a replacement for personality, made-up drama.

*You Should Know*
I'm not lying about my height or income, if we date I won’t be embarrassed to say that we met online, I don’t have any one ‘type’ when it comes to women, I don’t get crazy jealous of other guys, I’m on good terms with almost all of my ex’s, and I'm proud to say I've never cheated. I'm pretty drama-free but picky about who I court. That said I would much rather find my soul mate than break another heart.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
My dear mum always said that I have a knack for making tedious activities fun. I'm also very good at faking an Australian accent, partially due to the fact that my pa is an Aussie.

Playing with kids while all the other adults act awkward and talk about mortgages.

Solving problems in creative ways, of thinking up odd business models and inventions and then not following through with most of them. I’m good at taking the reins in crisis situations and thinking ahead in general (yup, zombie apocalypse).

Hand-making gifts

Being the life of the party, throwing said parties, and encouraging people at those parties talk to each other.

Dressing better than any straight guy you know.

Teaching others random little bits of knowledge that I have obtained; anything from cooking toffee and sailing to salsa dancing and how not to shoot yourself when handling a gun.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Once, quite awkwardly, a 50 year old female coworker of mine broadcasted by way of walkie-talkie to me and everyone else at the day care we worked at, that she thought my voice "Sexy". So I get complimented a lot about that and the fact that I have eyes, but probably people mostly notice that thing I just said that was a little over-the-line.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A very abridged list indeed:

Books:
History of Nearly Everything, Calvin and Hobbes, Poisonwood Bible, His Dark Materials, Mountains Beyond Mountains, 1984, Watership Down, Richard Dawkins, Harry Potter, Monkey Wrench Gang, Parable of the Sower, Catch-22, Hitchhikers Guide, Huckleberry Finn, Lonesome Dove, Darkstar Safari, Ender's Game, etc. etc. etc.

Film:
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Amelie, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Tropic Thunder, Grindhouse, Moulin Rouge, V for Vendetta, Casino Royal, Black Dynamite, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Coen Bros, Pixar. Oh right and of course I LOVE the Notebook! That scene with all those ducks, sighhhhh…. I of course own the 3D blueray.

Music:
Muse, Shiny Toy Guns, AC/DC, Beck, MJ, Buck 65, RJD2, Postal Service, Journey, RATATAT, Metric, Electric Six, Neil Young, Dragonforce, Sage Francis, Social Distortion, Johnny Cash...

Food:
I love Thanksgiving dinner. I love dirt burgers and watery beer. I love extravagant or simple sushi (thank you salmon for your delicious bellies). I love stupid bright tropical drinks with way too many decorations. I love a fine tequila. I love microwave stirfries. I love $40 steaks. I love veggies sautéed in campfires. I love nachos. I love mangos. I love water.
I ♥ all foods.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My family/friends
Humor
Good food
Sucide Dog, El Capitan, and The Quilt
My passport
Friendly people to get to know
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Contraptions and business schemes
Art projects
Where to travel next
Gender and social dynamics
Beating a/the system
Making lists
Hilarious names for Monster Trucks/pets/kids/nicknames
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Oh thanks for asking! It ranges quite a bit: Masturbating and crying while browsing OKCupid pages. Fashioning little dolls out of the hair and fingernails of my ex-girlfriends. Playing video games and cursing all the cold-hearted women of Seattle who for some reason aren’t breaking down my door to ask me on dates.

I am certainly never just out doing fun stuff with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
One day I will buy a little farm just outside of Portland, OR. I will have pigmy goats, chickens, and a little potbellied pig named Mignon.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can make me laugh, you’re beautiful in an interesting way (I'm a sucker for slightly goofy ears or a nose that looks like it was once broken), you don't require constant coddling in public but love snuggling in private, you're assertive and independent, have a reasonably fit body and a desire get the most out of it, have a fun sense of fashion, and generally have a healthy level of moxie.

If you need something to chat about with me, here are some ideas:

What would you do if you were Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day?

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever witnessed on a Greyhound bus?

If you had a baby and it was a girl, would you ever name her Marmalade?