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helioc

31 Edinburgh, UK Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:57am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Gentleman, in office, seeks lady assistant; matrimony if suited".(Personal ad from 1909).

Reactions to the rant below (in the "You should message me if" section) have been mixed.

POSITIVE: "Oh god I had a good laugh reading your profile. Thanks haha :P I totally agree with you, and the thing that made me laugh the most is when you say "you must get a lot of messages. This is not because of your incredible, devastating, unique charisma. It is merely because you happen to possess a vagina and a vaguely female face." Yeah well all these people trying to look like what they're not. It makes no sense, all society makes no sense. But I guess that conversation could be endless haha... for me it was fun to read, you didn't say any lie so... :P"
"Hey! Well you did get a lot of your chest. But true points all the same!"
"Haha I enjoyed reading your rant about women on here. Refreshing to see someone being honest! Good work."
"This is basically what I want to shout and scream at so many ppl - men and women - so much of the time, haha. Plus it's cool when you do relate to it; like I genuinely get annoyed with that and it's nice to know I'm not alone, cos posers are all I eva really seem to come across! :/ You just have the balls to be yourself enough to write what other people think, haha."

NEGATIVE: "Wow, your profile seriously scared me away. Good luck. You'll need it, mate."
"Honestly, what you write scares me. You haven't written a lot of interesting stuff about yourself, but a lot of what you have devoted your time to is a fairly angry rant about women on OkCupid. You don't come across as having the kind of tolerance and empathy that I would seriously NEED." (later) "Actually, you mentioned the word "whores". I'm sorry; I can't tolerate misogyny. Please get therapy".
"Yeah, I read your profile and it tells me nothing about you other than that you feel entitled to female attention (what, because you're a man? Please) and get pissed when you don't get it, but feel no need to actually give any reason to get it. Unfortunately for you, I both possess self esteem and don't have the time or energy to get into protracted conversations with entitled dicks, so I will not be talking to you".
"Go and creep someone else out with your empty profile and expressionless stare. Oh sorry, not forgetting the molester moustache of course. You are a creepy motherfucker!"
"I get being frustrated at fake people and posers, but man, let the hatred go. Cut women, and all people really, some slack. You don't know what someone's life is like or what pressure they're under... you come off sounding pretty misogynist and, frankly, more than a little like Elliot Rodger. Hating on women (even objectively lame ones) is not the way to get a quality woman."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Here's what I replied to that last message above.

"Re the rant, so many people say that. Although other girls have messaged me to tell me how much they like it. I dunno what to do with it, whether to change it or not. I think I'll just leave it. It's an accurate reflection of how I felt when I was writing it.
I wrote it on New Year's Eve, musta been 2012. I was reading this book about the Hungarian revolution of 1956 and it had this great quote in it, from a writer called Gylua Hay: "it should be the writer's prerogative to tell the truth; to criticise anybody and anything; to be sad; to be in love; to think of death; not to ponder whether light and shadow are in balance in his work; to believe in the omnipotence of God; to deny the existence of God; to doubt the correctness of certain figures in the Five Year Plan" etc etc, a whole list of other cool things.

I loved that "to criticise anybody and anything" thing. And then one night after Christmas I was looking through OKC and just came across profile after profile of these fake people. Just unbearable smugness and dishonesty. And I thought "it is the writer's prerogative to criticise anybody and anything!" and I wrote that rant, on New Year's eve.

Feedback has been mostly negative, but I stand by it. I didn't want to write the standard things that everyone writes. I am not a misogynist and I am not like Elliot Rodger. I don't think I'm entitled either. The rant is not motivated by misogyny. I'm sure if I looked through the guy profiles I'd feel the same things. It is motivated by annoyance at insincere people.

Elliot Rodger was a spoilt, entitled little brat. And also, a murderer. I don't think it's very fair to tar me with that brush. It horrifies me that anyone could think I was "a misogynist" when nothing could be further from my mind.

There is no hatred in me, not even a single little bit. It's a critique. For as Gyula Hay said in 1956, as the Soviet tanks were rolling into Budapest, "It is the writer's prerogative to criticise anything and anyone!" Yes, even OKcupid hipster chicks. Yes, perhaps even women themselves.

I don't really care about "getting a quality woman", or any woman. I just like looking at the profiles and things. They're interesting. You can sometimes get good book recommendations. It makes me feel slightly better just to know there are people I have things in common with. Nor do I care deeply what people think about me. I know that I'm a good person, so if people think I'm not, they're wrong."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
M'ladies usually compliment me on my fedora and neckbeard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like hardcore punk and lovers rock and italo disco. I don't care about movies, television, or food.

I like all books.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Problems with (some of) the okcupid women:
1. An unbelievably high, inflated opinion of themselves and high expectations. Rigid bullet point lists of what they want. An absolutely conceited sense of entitlement, supercilious expectation of being in a buyer's market and getting to pick and choose.
2. Pretentious, insufferable, fake-arty, hispterish twats. Undiscovered geniuses. Grown up women dressed like little girls with idiotic expressions. Lists of obscure bands that they pretend to like and never listen to, cause they think it looks cool.
3. Photos. a. I'm very moody and blurry, and my hair is half obscuring my face. I'm a deeply sensitive and slightly troubled individual. b. I'm in an exotic expensive foreign location, looking absolutely smug and pleased as punch with myself, and not looking at the exotic foreign location at all, because I'm so absorbed in myself. c. I'm with some friends in a bar or club, with vacant, glazed expression, holding aloft alcoholic drinks. How decadent and what an interesting and glamorous life I must lead. I am very popular with boys and everybody loves me.
4. Basically "hot" girls who proclaim themselves to be "geeks". You're not a geek cos you wear black-rimmed glasses when you don't need them and you played a videogame once. Have you ever been systematically ignored by whole groups of "cool kids"? Have you ever had rocks thrown at you just for looking different? Have you ever genuinely had no social opportunities, for a single night of your life. No? Then you're not a geek. You're a poser. Just like the loathsome popular people in high school, who later became whores and big time creeps.

I realise the attractive ones amongst you must get a lot of messages. This is not because of your incredible, devastating, unique charisma. It is merely because you happen to possess a vagina and a vaguely female face.
You are not all that amazing. Lower your expectations a bit, God knows the other half of humanity have had to. Cultivate humility.

I should stress that not all participants are like this. Some of the women seem genuine and nice. Also, a serious commitment to artistic practice and a political cause is a very worthy thing. It's when it's token and insincere that it becomes a problem. Where is the content? There's plenty of image, looking angsty in a blurry instagramy photo. Trying so hard to not look self-conscious in a very, very ersatz, contrived, un-natural pose. "This is to connote that I'm deep and complex. This, that I'm a cosmopolitan woman-of the-world. This, that I'm endlessly popular and looove my friends." It almost makes me yearn for the simple single mum housewife who just likes watching telly and going out to the bingo.
Scratch a bohemian and you often find an empty-headed hedonist with no ideas or values. Scratch a trendy fake liberal and you often find a little self-absorbed i'm-allright-jack careerist. Rub the politically correct layer away and you find all sorts of nasty little hipster prejudices and dishonesties.
I'm not saying that all okcupid people are like this. Just that some are.
And you know who you are.