I’m pretty detail-obsessed and recoil a little from the big picture (to me it’s like an imaginary monster hiding under the bed). But I will do my best impersonation of a summary.
Some things about me:
(Sheesh. This is hard.)
I’m trans (FtM / genderqueer-identified), and would identify my sexuality as queer (more specifically: gender and biological sex do not appear to be a part of what defines the totally incomprehensible confines of my ‘type’).
I have a partner. We don’t live together (and I’m definitely open to and invested in the possibility of some day finding another partner who I can live with), but they’re incredibly important to me. We are family to each other, and it would be important that whoever else I’m with is open to the possibility of being family with them too. They helped me make this profile, and it’s likely that you would meet them or communicate with them somewhat early in the process of meeting me. Feel free to ask follow-up questions if you want to get to know me and want to know more about how I do polyamory, but that’s all that I think I want to say in this general space.
I’d say I’m semi-clergy-identified (in the Christian tradition), and I consider my work to be pastoral. However, I’m not currently ordained and am not sure if I will ever be, and the work I do isn’t explicitly religious or spiritual. (I work at a shelter for young people, which seems a lot like a church to me in that it is based in long-term community building, is a space of deep and eschatological hope, is about safety for people’s bodies and spirits, and has room for and works to make meaning of the mess and struggle of being a person. Being a person: sometimes glorious, often so fucking hard!)
(I like parentheses. People are always trying to advise me to take them out, and I just can’t.)
I can take myself (and other people) incredibly seriously or not seriously at all. I like honesty and personal mess and vulnerability, and I like the times when life feels doable (and even easy) after the ones that are just hard. I like genderqueerness a whole lot. I like when people are totally comfortable with each other (I love hanging out with coupled friends) but I also find lots of kinds of awkwardness incredibly endearing (e.g.: the guys on The Big Bang Theory, flustered worship leaders, people meeting their idols, etc).
I love friendships but don't entirely love newness (familiarity is one of my favorite things), and so I prefer having close friends to making new ones (although I'm old enough to have had it really sink in that the work of making new friends is worth it). I really appreciate connecting to people across various kinds of difference, and cultivating alternative family.
Some of my favorite things about myself (and about the people I love) are the things which seem like strange combinations -- the things which are loved in tension or which are loved completely and wholly, despite possibly seeming to contradict each other.
I am noise-sensitive -- I'm not all that good with loud noise and not good at parties. I bike everywhere, and have studded snow tires for my bike. I can be incredibly annoyed when I'm bored, or when I feel trapped in a social or educational situation I don't want to be in (although I’m kind and softspoken, and probably no one would know it from looking at me). I definitely need some alone-time to feel like myself, but also spend a lot of time connecting to people one-on-one and crave a sense of wider community in which I belong. I have lately been more comfortable with new things and with the appeal of “adventure” (I even went skydiving recently! Although I a little bit felt like throwing up during the parachute part).
I also love to write and do art projects – alone or with other people.