I have the complete series of Lost in Space....cheezey I know but quite fitting I think.I'm a Saturday morning cartoon from the 60's....Space Ghost was my fave.I was forced to watch the Bing Crosby Christmas Special as an alternative to suicide.Napalm was an alternative to sunblock and Agent Orange was a guest appearance on Get Smart.I Dream of Genie was hot but then I was thinking of Gerry.As a kid my best chance to die young was when I fell through a snowcovered creek behind Meadowlands and Merivale in minus 30,silly me ringing my socks out in the middle of the parking lot.I nearly lost both my feet.The petstore at Billings Bridge had a baby chimpanzee in the front window for 1500 bucks and K-Mart sold Spider Monkeys.Then as now,no understanding for a gay like me,just abuse.I was the youngest kid in my school to get the strap,grade 1 and fresh outta Saskatchewan.It felt better than my brothers knuckles.Too friendly I think.
I am signed,sealed,and delivered.

Spring is just around the corner and like most people I'm eager to get outside and feel the warm sun on my face.Sitting around is'nt really my thing but I hate winter and going out means spending money,do enough of that online.I work mostly in winter,go home,pay bills,have a few drinks on the weekend.It's taken a couple years for me to get back on my feet after the pissup I've had with management and my old union executive,cost me a pretty penny to stand up for myself.Life for me the last while has been an exercise in restraint,something else I'm not used to but who wants to see me let loose.So it's quite boring.I shop at night now,can't stand the goofballs in the parking lots or the people that argue for a price check on a peice of fukin lettuce,better things in life to do.I'm still hoping in this scene but...People tell me I'm smart but then I know the truth....I'm here,that sez it all.I spend my moments looking for a yo-yo partner and most else don't matter.Well,what do I like...ahh haha,guess I would'nt deserve the right to have a pulse if I did'nt like a tight leather minni skirt and when not available in that particular material pvc will do just fine ;).What's that you think...hesez the derty ol man....well let's see.I also like ham 'n cheese on rye.

Oh in the past some most would say no matter what they could always count on me to be there,of course they're pretty much gone now,being forgotten happens when you get older.Tons of hobbies but who cares.Some may say sarcastic humor but I have'nt even started. Being hard on myself.Somewhere between boring and out of touch to the best friend you could have.People used to say about me I don't get mad I get even....whatever the fuck that means haha.I'm just an average guy,don't take compliments very well and don't listen to criticisim much mostly cause it does'nt matter much.I am what I do and that's it.Well,I'm not really proud of it but I'm fairly good at singing the Oscar Meyer weiner song.I mean it's not like I can play the sax or speak several languages....hmm,hard to find talent eh.What I am good at ehh haha living past my time.Actually my attributes don't really matter now do they.

Ohh I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok...I work all night and sleep all day.

One of the classic songs to come out of the lame 80s is "let the good times Roll".A favourite horror/action movie of mine from the late 70s is called "The Island".Stars Michael Caine as a reporter doing a story on modernday pirates in the Carribean.I guess you could say it's a thriller and ultra violent. I used to watch a few British comedies,"Allo,London Calling".A parody of life in the French resistance during the war portraying the nazies as a bunch of weird fetish types haha.Heir Flick of ze Geshtapo was a classic.Also I watched Black Adder starring Bean,portarys the English king as a twit.Lately I've been watching the Dr.Who series.Man,I've watched it since I was like 9.Dalek Khzn is a classic haha,kinda reminds me of me ;).Hmmm,my day consists of these songs....Julia Dream,Corporal Clegg and Careful with that Axe Eugene.My two fav. songs,sort of me in lyrics...Candy's Going Bad and Vanilla Queen by Golden Earring.Not many books,Tale of two Cities,poetry,well,Chaucer,but I didn't pay much attention to poety in highschool...the teacher was nuts and a lameoid.About Face,the Odessy of an American warrior,Manufacturing Consent,I can't remember who wrote it,All is Quiet on the Western Front...the origional that is,Casablanca...the quintessensail classic romance 101,Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by W.L.Shirer,Who has seen the Wind,I spent the first 6 years in Saskatchewan and it is also where I first became aware of my sexuality(that's deep),Gary Larson...The Far Side,Valley of the Far Side,Gallery of the Far Side(if I could draw my life that would be it).I read when I have to and what I need to get the job done usually.Let's see movies,Dark star(mind candy and a good space comedy),Forbidden Planet(way ahead of it's time,kinda like me)most sci-fi,Iron Cross,Dazed and Confused(it's the way I remember highschool),Blue Velvet,Kalifornia,Killing Zoe,Bullit,Dirty Mary Crazy Larry,The Getaway(Steve McQueen,Ali McGraw and Sam Peckinpaw directed),Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid(Kris Kristofferson,James Coburn,Bob Dylan and Sam Pekinpaw directed),actually anything Sam Pekinpaw,Vanishing Point,2 Lane Blacktop(James Taylor,Brian Wilson...reminds me of my wasted youth),The Red Sun(Christian Bales' first movie I think,and an epic tear jerker),Babylon 5...the whole series,Casablanca,anything James Cagney or Bogart in their gangster roles,Trailer Park Boys,SouthPark,The 3 Stooges,nyuk,nyuk,nyuk..Rock and Roll music- too much to list,some punk,folk,blues. Somebody elses'cooking.I'm starving,when do we eat.

Oh,I could never do without my left nut I suppose,now that I think of it I don't think I'd enjoy being without my right nut either.I guess I could'nt do without my penis as well cause my nutz would'nt have anyone to party with,just hangin there all blue-like and swollen wondering if that's all their is to life.....So where was I in this train of thought,oh ya,what I could'nt do without.Friends.Understanding why you are who you are without being judgemental.Being loved and being told I'm loved.Being in a loving relationship.Purpose which for me comes from those I care about.And finally....number six...the winning number....drumroll please....."orgasm" haha,cause it's what got us out of the trees really when you think about it.I like to think of it as,what the left hand does the right hand can only dream about.

Don't get me wrong my friend,I miss our time together.I log in when I have something to contribute and as of late I feel pretty useless.Useless is a fence on which one side is unwanted and uninvited on the other side.Trying to find my balance.I've always been perceived as a bad influence on decent people and too decent for most,too extreme for normal people and too reserved for the rest.I tend to be an opposite,ying vs yang,somewhere in all that madness I try to make a good time for everyone.If I should paint a picture for you....Saturday Nite Live....Steve Martin...The Two Polish Guys........ha-hah...least for me anyway.February,sheez,no fun being a Pisces.Know what mans' favourite button is....the snooze button.Like,five more minutes man and I'm up and like u'd better be pitching me a tent if your getting me up early.So,are you my favourite snooze button?Are you pondering what I'm pondering Pinky?Enjoy the freakshow that is my photographs,yah,what the hell eh.It scares the hell out of me with the whole growing old alone thing,that I never clicked with someone but,yah,I'm one that takes along time to feel comfortable with anyone.I think I'll become an A-list member,yah,I've wanted to change my username to Mudd for quite sometime now.Who....what....when and sometimes on rare occasions.....why.

Friday night,wee,it's pin the tail on the old guy night.Or to be less grammatic ;)...making an ass of myself somewhere.Wishing I was somewhere else.Should I go here or should I go there,nahh,all boring.Thinking how typical Friday night is and I can't wait till Saturday night.Riding off into the sunset instead of getting up at dawn.Twiddling my fuckin thumbs.

Blue eyes are my favourite but I find brown eyes more sultry.Thin,slim,feminine,it's all good to me.And I don't care what other people would think about my date cause I'm not trying to impress them. There's no reason to be nervous talking to me,relax cause I'm not going to carry a conversation any further than it's meant to go.Gees,I dunno,I'd have to do something new to admit it's private cause I think I've been pretty open here.I reflect on the past,live in the moment but there's always been emptiness when it comes to where I will be in the future so there was never a "I want to be this when I grow up" for me.In a previous life I was a squirrel in a dessert who loved collecting nutz.Vincent Van Gogh could'nt have painted himself into a better corner than I have.

It would be nice to hear from you.Oh wow,now how come I did'nt think of this.If you think you can keep up a conversation without lapsing into a coma.