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heyimatoaster

26 Cherry Hill, NJ Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:37am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Jacked
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Banking / Finance
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Russian (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
First things first. I woke up today. Secondly my name is Sasha. I was born in Russia and lived in a town called Chelyabinsk until I was 4. The town is riveting, much like the town of Bratislava from Eurotrip. Chelyabinsk is renowned solely for its utter lack of things to be renowned for. Just to give you an idea of how boring it is the flag of Chelyabinsk is a camel standing next to a cinderblock wall. Google it!

I try to make up for my boring birthplace by living as adventitiously as possible. Sometimes a simple adventure is in order like trying a new restaurant, going to a bar I’ve never been to, or hiking an unexplored corner of somewhere USA. Sometimes life calls for something extraordinary like booking a plane ticket for a long weekend just to go exploring, or taking a road trip from the east coast to Napa Valley, or living in Tokyo for 6 months.

Although adventuring is fun it isn’t as easy as it used to be in my old age. So I also appreciate the relaxing activities life has to offer such hanging out for an evening and watching as much Netflix as time will allow, going to a quiet bar with friends and making each other laugh hysterically, theater hopping with booze, or going for a drive.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently I am a part-time lion tamer, full-time badass...at least I was in my dream last night... in truth I am an accountant at a Philly law firm. I very recently finished the 3rd test of the CPA and I realized that I am on the fast track to becoming Lester Burnham. Not good. Like Lester I've decided to have a midlife (or quarter-life in my case) crisis. I realize that there are certain things I've done that I take a great deal of pride in like building a deck, taking engines apart and putting them back together, building computers, electrically wiring houses, putting down hardwood flooring, waterproofing crawlspaces, learning object oriented programming, soldering circuit boards, being involved at the ground level of successful (and unsuccessful) start-ups. Currently I have some stuff brewing that will move my career in that direction.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
First things first, I’m really good at waking up. Also sarcasm, consuming exorbitant amounts of ice-cream, making people laugh, listening, talking, sleeping, breathing, reading, driving, watching movies, fixing things that aren’t broken, fixing things that are broken, being a fool, sneezing loudly, arguing, laughing at inappropriate times, movie references, making playlists, faking Russian accents, hugs, patience, impulsiveness, drinking, admitting when I’m wrong, boasting when I’m right, dancing like everyone’s watching.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My witty sense of humor, of course.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books – Reading is a favorite pastime. I like sci-fi books my favorite authors are Robert Heinlein, Michael Crichton, Phil K Dick, and Author C Clark. Recently I started reading the Jack Reacher series, although not sci-fi I still CANNOT put it down. Sometimes I open a bottle of wine, take off my pants, and read the IRC updates. You can never read updates of the Internal Revenue Code with pants on, rule of acquisition number 195.

Movies – My taste in movies is broad. I watch a lot of bad movies. I don’t think my friends have ever forgiven me for making them watch Jack Frost 2 or Vampire’s Kiss. I'm usually not the one picking out the movies on a Sunday afternoon.. but I like good movies too, I swear. Anything dark, sci-fi, action, or Jackie Chan, is a movie I can get behind. I can even get behind some classic movies. To give you an idea some of my favorites in no particular order are - The Rear Window, Police Story, The Fifth Element, Garden State, Desperado, Ferris Buller's Day Off, North by Northwest, Top Gun, Naked Gun, and 21 Jump Street.

Music – itunes tells me that I have 83.25GB of music that’s 27.5 days. 27.5 days of music is too much to go into detail here so I’ll just say if you put it on I’ll listen and try to like it.

Food – Dessert. Yes, all the dessert!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.Oxygen
2.Family & Friends
3.Hands
4.Random adventures
5.Pointless car rides
6.Dark chocolate
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I spend most of my time thinking about sitting on the beach of a tropical island, drinking rum out of a coconuts while being fanned by large palm leaves. Sometimes I even think about the deep questions in life, did Han shoot first? Am I a Cylon? What is Soylent Green? Who killed Laura Palmer? Who’s the better captain? The number 42. Can Ryan really love Taylor as much as he loved Marissa? Is my metachlorian count high? Is the Smoking Man really Mulder’s father? Why don't sudo commands work on people? Do I have to pay the troll toll?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to light my fire place without setting myself on fire.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can eat an entire box of Oreos in one sitting, Double Stuff Oreos.
I know I’m a bad ass lion tamer, but I like hugs. Shhh don’t tell the lions, they can smell weakness.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
* You don’t take yourself seriously and can unashamedly laugh at everything. There are times to be serious, however most of the time I prefer to joke around. I've been told I have a very dry, and sometimes even wet sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at yourself, all the crazy stuff in the world, and don’t get/like sarcasm then I will be the only one laughing on our date.

* You are confident. I am comfortable with myself, both physically and mentally. I would like the same level of confidence in person who I plan on spending time with.

* You aren't looking for a pen pal. Pen pals can be fun. Not so much on a dating site. If you prefer to exchange page long essays rather than meet in person to see if we get along, then please do not waste my time.

* You don’t take your religion seriously. Religion is part of my life only to the extent of going to my parents' house and eating a lot of food on Jewish holidays. If you are serious about praying to your deity I am not the guy you should be spending your time with. Maybe I can make an exception for anyone belonging to the Church of The FSM.