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highfidelity58

55 M Bloomfield, NJ

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$150,000–$250,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
"It feels, even to me, like I'm being intimate: I speak quietly, slowly, thoughtfully, I express regret, I say nice things about Laura, I hint at a deep ocean of melancholy just below the surface. But it's all bollocks, really, a cartoon sketch of a decent, sensitive guy which does the trick because I am in a position to invent my own reality and because — I think — Marie has already decided she likes
me". — Nick Hornby, "High Fidelity" (1995)
What I’m doing with my life
Working very hard at a job in NYC that I really enjoy, and might even be good at, at the intersection of technology and fashion. Earning a very good salary, practically all of which goes to child support payments to my various ex-wives, or to paying for college for my older kids, or to saving for college for my younger ones. So if you're looking for a man to lavish you with material wealth, good luck with that! Not that I'm settling for what I've got -- I'm aggressively pursuing advancement in my career and earning power -- just trying to set realistic expectations.

I'm very involved in the day-to-day lives of my two younger kids -- they live with their mom, but spend lots of time with me, so a fair amount of my time is taken up with the dailiness of raising kids -- cooking, cleaning, homework, bedtime, bathtime, etc. The stuff of life.

So if you're looking for a guy who can jet off with you to Reykjavik at the drop of a hat, sorry, but I gotta drive the kids to school... and if you're not sure you want young kids in your life -- if the first word that pops into your head is "baggage" -- then you probably should move along -- 'cause my boyz 'n' me are a package deal. Not right away of course -- it's not like I bring them with me on dates or anything -- and I'd have to be VERY serious about you before you come into their lives, because they do NOT need a revolving door of women coming into and out of their lives -- but they're here, and they're not going anywhere. Not for fourteen years or so, anyway.

This is all based on experience -- don't go out with me for awhile, and then go "I'm not sure I want young kids in my life". I'm telling you now.

My kids are super-ultra-fabulous, by the way, and you would be very lucky to be a part of their lives. If things were to get that far.

I'm also spending a surprising amount of time playing, writing and recording songs, both my own and other people's. I'm still working to master the guitar, a lifelong pursuit which I will never finish, but will never give up on -- so if you think you'd resent being with someone who needs to spend a certain amount of time playing, practicing, recording and performing music, maybe I'm not the best match for you.

On the other hand, I don't spend my weekends on the couch in front of the TV, watching football or golf or NASCAR or whatever, so I probably need about as much guy-time as the average guy, I just spend it doing different stuff than a lot of other guys.
I’m really good at
Well, I've been playing guitar since I was 12 years old; I'm almost getting the hang of it.
The first things people usually notice about me
The blazing intelligence shining out from my eyes... the charming smile and ready wit... the understated, confident sexiness smoldering just beneath the surface...

Oh, who am I kidding -- the first thing people notice is my bald head! But soon you stop noticing that, and then notice the blazing intelligence, the charming smile, etc...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Sometimes I look at this section of people's profiles and it makes me think of this scene from a Valentine's Day episode of the Simpsons:

Ralphie: "So... do you like... stuff?"
Lisa: "Yeah... I like... stuff."

Music: Beatles. I could stop right there but to continue: Elvis Presley, Elvis Costello, Springsteen, Talking Heads, Sinatra, Diana Krall, J.S.Bach, Chopin, D. Scarlatti, Stravinsky, Bill Evans, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor. Currently bingeing on Crowded House / Neil Finn.

Books: John Irving, Updike, Dickens, Joyce, Wodehouse, A.S.Byatt, Nick Hornby, Hardy, George Eliot. Trying to get back into reading more poetry and classics: Yeats, Wordsworth, Pindar, Sappho. I am pretty sure "The Goldfinch" is the most overrated novel of all time.

Movies: I'm a pushover for a good romantic comedy; so sue me. Faves: Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Love Actually, Sabrina, High Fidelity, Dan in Real Life. And the typical nerdy-guy stuff: Monty Python, Star Wars, Princess Bride, Spinal Tap, but I know not many people without a Y-chromosome like this stuff. I remember when a new Woody Allen movie was a highlight of the season. If there's anything in the movies more entertaining than Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark / Iron Man, I don't know what it is.

Plastic arts: I just went through a serious Vermeer obsession; last winter, when "Girl With a Pearl Earring" was in town, I saw nine Vermeers in one day, which is almost impossible to do. I like Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, red and black figure pottery, Andrew Wyeth, Miró, Van Gogh, Boticelli, Rodin, Eakins. Not as well educated about art as I'd like to be. I'm working on it.

Theater: I have two kids who are Shakespearean actors, so I see a lot of Shakespeare; it's kind of a thing with us. I wish I got to Lincoln Center more often than I do; whenever I'm there, for a ballet, opera or concert, I think "this is what life in NYC is supposed to be all about!" but then I don't go again for ages. So you should drag me there.

Food: seriously? You're gonna decide who to go out with based on what food they like? Rest assured, we will find something to eat that we both like.
The six things I could never do without
My guitar, my hifi, P.G.Wodehouse, my other guitar, Phineas and Ferb, my running shoes.

(Seriously, if you get nothing else out of reading my profile, get this: stop what you're doing, right now, and get yourself a P.G.Wodehouse book -- I recommend "Code of the Woosters" as a good place to start -- you can thank me brokenly later. Whenever I am in the grip of a really unbreakable depression, I pick up a Wodehouse book at random, and am laughing my head off within five minutes. And if you don't "get" Wodehouse, then we're really not meant for each other.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
whatever song I'm currently writing.
On a typical Friday night I am
having pizza-and-movie night with my two younger kids... that's on alternate weekends; the other weekends I am keeping open for you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I still have a turntable, and all my old vinyl records. And play them regularly.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 45–56
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you read about a middle-aged guy with four kids, two failed marriages, not quite enough money, and demanding professional and artistic pursuits, and go "Ah. Perfect."