I know that Hobbes should be my role model, but most days it's Calvin. Being an adult just seems like a ridiculous thing to spend your time doing, and I'd rather be making paper airplanes, or climbing trees, or drinking on a patio and haughtily judging passersby. I've taken firm moral stances against owning polo shirts or throwing away movie ticket stubs. I stopped watching tv regularly about a decade ago.

...this is coming out way more 'HEY LOOK HOW QUIRKY AND FUN I AM' than I intended, so full disclosure: usually I'm hella boring. You've been warned.

I don't take myself very seriously. You shouldn't take me very seriously either.

http://highverbalfan.livejournal.com
http://flickr.com/photos/highverbalfan/

I am hypoallergenic, incandescent, and fireproof

After a wacky series of happy accidents—plus three trips to the hospital, two years of school, and one 700 mile move from all my friends—I successfully landed my dream job a couple of months ago. It's pretty awesome, and was totally worth it. I'm still so stunned that everything worked out that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next.

But if it all falls apart again, I'm going to find a way to make a living by punching Glenn Beck in the throat. Actually, I'd probably do that for free.

Climbing things—I wanna be Spider-Man when I grow up. My photography doesn't suck. I was funny at a party once, so that was cool. I go really high on swingsets. I fold up tip money into little origami animals. You could probably use me on your trivia team.

Oh! And I totally rock at doing handstands. Write that one down.

Probably the quirky t-shirts I wear to compensate for my total lack of personality. But usually they don't notice me at all because of my sweet ninja skills.

I watch movies about as often as I eat, so this list is a long one. A few random favorites: OldBoy, Sliding Doors, Willie Dynamite, the Kill Bills, Return to Oz, American Psycho, Serenity, The Fall, Following, The Fountain, The Five Obstructions, and...I dunno...let's go with Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Zombie flicks, J-Horror, 70's blaxploitation, artsy Euro films, soundtrack-driven indie movies, campy sci-fi...I devour it all. I kinda want to kill Michael Bay with a hammer.

Oh, and The Apple is pretty much the greatest movie of all time; if you haven't seen it, you're missing out.

***

I'm rarely reading fewer than three books at a time, but I can't remember the last time I finished one. It's pretty pathetic. Some personal favorites are Danielewski's 'House of Leaves,' Heller's 'Catch-22', 'Good Omens' by Gaiman and Pratchett. I also loved 'I, Lucifer' by Glen Duncan. I hope to finish 'Goedel, Escher, Bach' before I die, but it probably won't happen. Defoe's 'The Pirates! In an Adventure with..." serious is bloody brilliant. Favorite writers include Harlan Ellison, Neil Gaiman, Warren Ellis, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, and about a bajillion others. I'm a pretty big fan of Richard Dawkins.

I eagerly await the day that bestsellers are written above a third grade reading level. I'm looking at you, Da Vinci Code.

And unless you want to hear an epic rant about domestic abuse in teen fiction, don't even fucking talk to me about Twilight.

***

Musical taste? Eclectic--industrial, trip-hop, oi, acoustic folk, some broadway musicals (Don't judge me, fuckers), neo-classical, neo-swing, neo-folk, neo-lots of things, darkwave, instrumental soundtracks, random indie rock and hip-hop. Ani DiFranco, Assemblage 23, Portishead, Gogol Bordello, Vienna Teng, Sage Francis, Dropkick Murphys, Laura Veirs, Decemberists, Dresden Dolls, Royal Crown Revue, Regina Spektor, VNV Nation, Morcheeba, Tori, Panic!, Aesop Rock, The Knife, Bella Morte...stuff like that.

And Toby Keith needs to fall into a tiger pit.

(Lady Gaga and Shakira are guilty pleasures. My only defense is that sometimes something is SO retarded that you can't help but love it; insert your own Trig Palin joke here.)

***

Favorite food? Either overpriced yuppie-fuck coffee or anything you eat with chopsticks.

I keep having this fantasy where one day I'll skillfully prepare grown-up meals like a real adult, but it hasn't happened yet. Until it does, Snak Pak pudding cups will keep me alive, right?

The camera(s), unnecessary profanity, Google, semicolons, Wacom tablets, and cool fucking pens.

Science! And politics. Religion. The way technology affects modern communication. Pop culture trends. And the way that these things all interact; I've got theories for *days.*

Oh, and working on my sing-a-long blog.

...doing the same thing I do every night, Pinky.

I own footie pajamas. They're red, covered in robots, and dead sexy. You can't deny the attraction.

If you express affection in ways that could be mistaken for emotional abuse, we'd probably get along well. Fans of Harlan Ellison, Noam Chomsky, or Bill Hicks are encouraged to apply. Let's go on an adventure somewhere and take pictures. All of my friends keep moving out of town, and I miss having someone to lounge on the couch and watch movies with. Say hi.