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30 • M • Columbia, MO
- Last Online
- Yesterday – 9:02pm
- 5′ 11″ (1.80m)
- Body Type
- Mostly vegetarian
- Other, and laughing about it
- Leo, but it doesn’t matter
- Dropped out of space camp
- Relationship Status
- Relationship Type
- Doesn’t have kids
- Likes dogs
- English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
* * *
Why in God's name do I write this shit....
* * *
I don't really know what I'm good at. I hate ending a sentence in a preposition. That's going to drive me absolutely pink panther panties nuts...
Okay, anyway...moving on.
Sniffing himself without being conscious of the action he replies.
"It is me. I don't even know why I took that cadavers jacket, I was already wearing one."
She stares at him deeply with longing in her eyes. Moments pass as the tension rises to a frenzy between two interwoven and immortally connected souls.
"Can I have that jacket?" she asks, smiling seductively and never losing eye contact.
He meets her gaze right back. "No. Its mine, get your own dead guy jacket."
I love to read. I love food. I love movies. I think music is the best thing man kind has ever invented. It has yet to kill anyone.
Perhaps I will need a pointy stick but that is entirely relative to the climate and the availability of year round fruit producing trees. I suppose I could start some sort of agricultural plan but I am assuming I am all on my own here, and since I have no God like Pharoh to impress, I'm just going to runaround naked and pick fruit. If I happen to get my hands on a really nice stick, I may try my hand at hunting easy to kill wildlife. And of course I'm still naked in this scenario.
Hmmm, I may also need a mate. Masturbating in a cave is going to get boring. Plus who is going to tell me how horrible I am at hunting, gathering, love making, intimacy, cleaning, kissing, hygiene and masturbating in my cave?
I may also need some clothing. Its cold inside the cave.
I need a lot of stuff. Surviving on only 6 items is more difficult than I initially imagined. Looking back at this, I may just let myself die. I'm really high maintenance.
However..........For your amusement I have decided to tell you horribly embarrassing things about myself.
Every time I watch "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey" I cry. When Sassy and Chance come over the hill and Shadow doesn't, I cry harder than a little girl who just discovered that unicorns eat puppies. Puppies make the horn shiny.
I am highly aroused by Gadget from the children's television cartoon show "Rescue Rangers." I will not offer an explanation for this.
I drool, constantly. I have to keep a small towel in my back pocket. It looks as though I have ass padding. I don't, its my drool rag.
More than once I have walked into walls trying to appear cool and aloof. I cry every time this happens.
I peed my pants in first grade. I told no one. I cried.
I was once kicked off the bus for forcing a girl to show me her panties. I would like to say I was a small child when this occurred. I wasn't. This happened in the last 90 days. The bus driver yelled at me and kicked me off the bus. I cried. Then uploaded the video I took on my iPhone to YouTube.
Ok, that last one was a lie. I don't have an iPhone....
I probably need an attorney.
- Girls who like guys
- Ages 21–35
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
I'll close my profile this way. Life is totally worth the trouble. If you don't believe that, then you're fucked.
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