Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


34 M Portland, OR

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 28
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid
Likes dogs and has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.

But now, well, now, birthdays, anniversaries, and funerals go by, all while we're all just looking for someone to cry when we die.

That's why we're on OK Cupid, right? RIGHT?

But, I digress...

I grew up a poor black child. And, eventually, grew into being an over-privileged, middle class, white boy that listens to way too much hip-hop and watches way too many gangsta movies. I mean, how many times have I seen Boyz in the Hood, anyhow? Too many.

Besides that, I kicked around in the minor leagues for awhile. Dreaming of the day I would get called up to the show.

It never happened, but in the mean time I had some bit parts on some TV shows, a few failed pilots, and a development deal for my band.

Always a day late and a buck short.

Now, I'm getting back on the saddle, if you will, out there looking for THE ONE. Or, you know, a pretty good time while I chase the high of that said one.

English is my first language. Actually, it's my only language, unless you count sarcasm. Then... it's my only language, too.

I still dream of hitting it big on the silver screen, but in the mean time, I sell snow cones out of a mobile unit to kids that chase me down the street like I'm a dog they want to tug at it's tail and pet way too hard.

Hey man, it's living! At least it pays the rent.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Slinging snow cones and helping the children of American become diabetics.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Closing down bars, over analyzing everything, and throwing tantrums in my agent's office. I mean, I should have got that bit part on that crappy TV show, right? I mean... I nailed the audition!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I like to throw banana peels out of my car, while I drive.

I call it real-life Mario Kart!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Sassparilla, The Replacements, Paul Westerberg, Tommy Stinson, Butch Walker, Marvelous 3, Goldenboy, Water Tower, Kenny Feinstein, Crown Point, Russell Stafford, Jon Davidson, McDougall, Brothers of the Last Watch, Hillstomp, Star Anna, Massy Ferguson, Fleet Foxes, 3 Bit Bourbon, Perhapst, Luke McCain, Freshkills, The Railbenders, The Dry County Crooks, Vinny D., Fugazi, New York Rifles, The Oohlas, Alien Crime Syndicate, John Grant, The Meices, Leigh Marble, Chris Robley, Perhapst, Rachel Taylor Brown, Richmond Fontaine, Hillstomp, The Lonely H, AM, Dead Rock West, Mishka Shubaly, Beat the Devil, The Replacements, Paul Westerberg, Suffrajett, Matt Sharp, The Rentals, Dinosaur Jr., I Can Lick Any Sonofabitch in the House, John Doe, X, Pete Townshend, The Who, The Maroons, Sean Croghan, Brady Brock, Alex Dezen, The Damnwells, No. 2, Elliott Smith, In Music We Trust Records, The Trash Brats, Fountains of Wayne, Tommy Stinson, Bash and Pop, Cursive, Filter, Pavement, The Jicks, Stephen Malkus, The Clash, Flaming Lips, Beulah, Gerald Collier, Supersuckers, Otis Redding, James Brown, Hank Williams, Minus 5, Young Fresh Fellows, Best Kissers in the World, Ruth Ruth, Ultra V, The Jealous Sound, Crackerbash, Hazel, Heatmiser, Pond, Sprinkler, Thrillhammer, Patsy Cline, Otis Redding, John Prine, Husker Du, Goldfinger, Bob Schneider, Social Distortion, Perfect, No. 2, The Goo Goo Dolls (early stuff)...

Comedy: Mitch Hedberg, Doug Stanhope, Brendon Walsh, Robert Schimmel, Auggie Smith, etc.

Movies: Shawshank Redemption, Blow, South Park, One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest, To Kill A Mockingbird... ummm... gosh, so many more. Hard to say.

Television: Benson, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Soap, The Shield, Webster, 21 Jump Street, Renegade, Scrubs, Forensic Files, Masterminds, Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, Cheers, Growing Pains, Three's Company, South Park, Forensic Files, Crank Yankers, Simpsons, The Sarah Silverman show, Da Ali G Show, From the Files of Dayle Hinman, Family Guy, Grounded for Life, and probably some other stuff...

Books: Robert Schimmel's "Cancer on $5.00 a Day (chemo not included)". Anything by Willy Vlautin. And, everything by Mishka Shubaly.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Lifetime TV (had a few roles on that channel, the royalty checks keep me fed, you know?)
2. My agent
3. My lawyer - who is currently suing my agent
4. My snow cone business; gotta do something while not acting
5. Every bad relationship I ever had. It all taught me something.
6. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Don't ask...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lifetime movies, but only the ones I starred in.

It was a good time, I just didn't realize it then.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Checking email.


An Arabic prince says he's going to give me his fortune as an inheritance.

I can't wait!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes you have to do gay porn to "break into the industry."

It's just the nature of the business.

My agent told me this. At a young age.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You LOVE Tyler Perry movies.

How does he do it?