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34 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Apr 16
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid
Likes dogs and has cats

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My self-summary
Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.

But now, well, now, birthdays, anniversaries, and funerals go by, all while we're all just looking for someone to cry when we die.

That's why we're on OK Cupid, right? RIGHT?

But, I digress...

I grew up a poor black child. And, eventually, grew into being an over-privileged, middle class, white boy that listens to way too much hip-hop and watches way too many gangsta movies. I mean, how many times have I seen Boyz in the Hood, anyhow? Too many.

Besides that, I kicked around in the minor leagues for awhile. Dreaming of the day I would get called up to the show.

It never happened, but in the mean time I had some bit parts on some TV shows, a few failed pilots, and a development deal for my band.

Always a day late and a buck short.

Now, I'm getting back on the saddle, if you will, out there looking for THE ONE. Or, you know, a pretty good time while I chase the high of that said one.

English is my first language. Actually, it's my only language, unless you count sarcasm. Then... it's my only language, too.

I still dream of hitting it big on the silver screen, but in the mean time, I sell snow cones out of a mobile unit to kids that chase me down the street like I'm a dog they want to tug at it's tail and pet way too hard.

Hey man, it's living! At least it pays the rent.
What I’m doing with my life
Being the greatest motherfucker you will ever meet.
I’m really good at
Making you laugh 65 percent more of the time.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I like to throw banana peels out of my car, while I drive.

I call it real-life Mario Kart!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Sassparilla, The Replacements, Paul Westerberg, Tommy Stinson, Butch Walker, Marvelous 3, Goldenboy, Water Tower, Kenny Feinstein, Crown Point, Russell Stafford, Jon Davidson, McDougall, Brothers of the Last Watch, Hillstomp, Star Anna, Massy Ferguson, Fleet Foxes, 3 Bit Bourbon, Perhapst, Luke McCain, Freshkills, The Railbenders, The Dry County Crooks, Vinny D., New York Rifles, The Oohlas, Alien Crime Syndicate, John Grant, The Meices, Leigh Marble, Chris Robley, Perhapst, Rachel Taylor Brown, Richmond Fontaine, Hillstomp, The Lonely H, AM, Dead Rock West, Mishka Shubaly, Beat the Devil, The Replacements, Paul Westerberg, Suffrajett, Matt Sharp, The Rentals, I Can Lick Any Sonofabitch in the House, John Doe, X, Pete Townshend, The Who, The Maroons, Sean Croghan, Brady Brock, Alex Dezen, The Damnwells, No. 2, Elliott Smith, In Music We Trust Records, The Trash Brats, Fountains of Wayne, Tommy Stinson, Bash and Pop, Cursive, Filter, The Clash, Flaming Lips, Beulah, Gerald Collier, Supersuckers, Otis Redding, James Brown, Hank Williams, Minus 5, Young Fresh Fellows, Best Kissers in the World, Ruth Ruth, Ultra V, The Jealous Sound, Crackerbash, Hazel, Heatmiser, Pond, Sprinkler, Thrillhammer, Patsy Cline, Otis Redding, John Prine, Husker Du, Goldfinger, Bob Schneider, Social Distortion, Perfect, No. 2, The Goo Goo Dolls (early stuff)...

Comedy: Mitch Hedberg, Doug Stanhope, Brendon Walsh, Robert Schimmel, Auggie Smith, etc.

Movies: Shawshank Redemption, Blow, South Park, One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest, To Kill A Mockingbird... ummm... gosh, so many more. Hard to say.

Television: Benson, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Soap, The Shield, Webster, 21 Jump Street, Renegade, Scrubs, Forensic Files, Masterminds, Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, Cheers, Growing Pains, Three's Company, South Park, Forensic Files, Crank Yankers, Simpsons, The Sarah Silverman show, Da Ali G Show, From the Files of Dayle Hinman, Family Guy, Grounded for Life, and probably some other stuff...

Books: Robert Schimmel's "Cancer on $5.00 a Day (chemo not included)". Anything by Willy Vlautin. And, everything by Mishka Shubaly.
The six things I could never do without
1. Air
2. Water
3. Food
4. Family
5. Laughter
6. Love
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Lifetime movies, but only the ones I starred in.

It was a good time, I just didn't realize it then.
On a typical Friday night I am
Checking email.


An Arabic prince says he's going to give me his fortune as an inheritance.

I can't wait!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I don't see dead people.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You LOVE Tyler Perry movies.

How does he do it?