Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

holycrackers

27 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 24–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:18pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Okay), Hebrew (Poorly), Yiddish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Let's see...amateur/wannabe outdoorsman and hiker, obsessive foodie, total beer geek, and unrepentant coffee snob. Pro-oxford comma, obviously. Actively trying to get into art, and my Whitney membership has been pretty helpful with that.

I successfully grew some (very hot) pepper seeds into a plant that yielded a grand total of 3 serranos. I made pico de gallo with them. My roommate now incessantly refers to me as an urban farmer.

I'm pretty into kickboxing and go quite often. It's basically exercise so I can eat all the things.

In order to correct my lack of world travel, I made a pact with a friend to hit up a new country annually. This past year, we went to Peru and did a 4 day, 40 mile trek though the Andes culminating in a painful, hour-long walk up a billion stairs to the entrance of Machu Picchu. Worth it.

MBTI is...well, you'll have to ask. I buy into most of it, some of it, and none of it. Suck it, ambiguity.

I don't believe in pickup lines, but if I did, this would be the only one I'd ever use:

"HAYYY GURL ARE YOU A BEAVER?
CUZ DAM!" **
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living by Ms. Frizzle's mantra: "Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!"

Taco quest.

I like to think my job is pretty meaningful...and I can walk to work! Can't wait until winter hits.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking things without a recipe...the more imaginative, the better.

Avoiding awkward situations.

Finding hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants serving amazing food.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Besides my sparkling personality and rugged good looks? Probably my sarcasm.

"Whoa, you're like, really serious about your coffee, huh?"

Yes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oy, reads. Confederacy of Dunces, Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins, The Giving Tree, New Yorker, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Movies? Pretty much anything directed by Woody Allen or the Coen Brothers. I know all the lines to The Big Lebowski, and Hook will always have a special place in my heart.

I listen to an awful lot of NPR. Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!, Freakonomics, and Morning Edition are constantly on my weekly listens.

TV: West Wing, Seinfeld, X-Files, BoJack Horseman, New Girl. Way too many to name.

Music: Chances are if it's not-ironically on vinyl, it's something I'd like. I'm stuck in the 60s and 70s, with a bit of 80s Talking Heads and Elvis Costello thrown in for good measure.

Food? Don't get me started. Indian, Thai, Ethiopian, anything from my CSA. It's a ridiculous list. Everything.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Six things?! Let's see:

1. hario v60
2. stand mixer
3. kickboxing gloves
4. internets
5. stinky cheese
6. hiking boots
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
All this mishegas.

How the hell do people eat apples from top to bottom?! There are indentations that fit your fingers perfectly. Weirdos.

How to get Carl Kasell's voice on my answering
machine.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sitting on the floor of my kitchen cleaning dishes with Highway 61 Revisited blasting on my record player.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I will probably determine our dating compatibility based on your affinity for cilantro.

People who find Kesha's music fun and entertaining to listen to should be ashamed of themselves. I know I am.

During the six weeks it took me to get security clearance for my job, I often spent one day a week wandering Park Slope trying to find Patrick Stewart. I wasn't successful. [Did not] engage.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I've piqued your interest and you enjoy indulging your inner-grammar Nazi. But seriously, what do you have to lose? Send a message!

Sidenote: Dull, generic messages will probably get deleted. It'd be nice to know you read my profile.

But really, if you're a witty, sarcastic, NPR-listening [potential] feminist with an affinity for words, theater, and anything outdoors, I suspect we'll get along famously.

** I did not come up with this pickup line (but I wish I did).