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holycrackers

27 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Okay), Hebrew (Poorly), Yiddish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Quite often, I can be stupidly loud, but I am rarely, if ever, loudly stupid.

I'd describe myself as a cross between outdoorsy, cultured, and adventurous. I love biking and hiking (and rhymes, apparently), craft beer (I really know my stuff), single-origin coffee, and all things food-related. I will try anything...more than once.

This week's CSA: mini tomatoes, lettuce, sweet peppers, eggplant, beets, soy beans. Winning.

I successfully grew some (very hot) pepper seeds into a plant that yielded a grand total of 3 serranos. I made pico de gallo with them. My roommate now incessantly refers to me as an urban farmer.

Personality is ENTJ, if you're into that sort of thing (I am). It basically means I'm outgoing and can't stand inefficiency. Politically, I'm liberal, but not pushy...far more concerned with people being well-informed than having the same views as me.

Random things...I'm an NPR fanatic, can't stand people who are passive-aggressive, and my sarcasm borders on offensive (occasionally). Also: when I was a baby, my parents threw chicken curry in a food processor and fed it to me. Besides automatically giving them the title of "coolest parents ever", it started my horribly wonderful journey down the road to foodie-dom.

I don't believe in pickup lines, but if I did, this would be the only one I'd ever use:

"HAYYY GURL ARE YOU A BEAVER?
CUZ DAM!" **
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Following the Ms. Frizzle mantra: "Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!"

Taco quest.

Job? Working for Big Brother, and doing work I think is pretty meaningful. Related: if you work for any bank in any capacity, we probably won't get along.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking all the things.

Making bloody marys (from scratch, of course).

Averting awkward situations.

Finding dumpy ethnic restaurants that serve fantastic food.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Besides my sparkling personality and rugged good looks? Probably my sarcasm.

"Whoa, you're like, really serious about your coffee, huh?"

Yes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Reads: A Confederacy of Dunces, The Giving Tree, Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Jerusalem (Ottolenghi), New Yorker, Bon Appetit

Shows: Jeopardy!, Orange is the New Black, The Good Wife (SO GOOD) , Iron Chef (originals), West Wing, The Wire, Curb, Louie, Seinfeld, Wilfred, Breaking Bad, Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!, Radiolab, Fresh Air

Film: Big Lebowski. Annie Hall. Bananas. Hook. Mostly, anything directed by the Coen brothers or having a combination of Woody Allen and Diane Keaton.

Music: I'm a not-so-in the closet Deadhead (less the drugs). Others: Dylan, The Band, Van Morrison, CCR, The Band, Neil Young, Trombone Shorty, Lady Gaga, Talking Heads. Oh, and The Beets.

Food: Indian, without question. Others: Ethiopian, Mexican, Thai, Middle Eastern. Dark Chocolate. Anything painfully spicy. I never learn.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
People didn't get my previous joke. So, 6 things:

1. internets
2. hario V60
3. well-worn cast iron skillet
4. wooden spoons
5. stand mixer
6. weekly CSA box

I <3 cooking.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
All this mishegas.

My CSA. Seriously! Every Monday, I spend my day fanatically refreshing my inbox to see what's in that week's haul. Basically, I get nothing done until around 4pm.

How to get Carl Kasell's voice on my answering
machine.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Beats me. Like everyone, it varies.

Examples: Checking out awesome taplists, exploring neighborhoods for fantastic ethnic noms, plays, movies, etc. It's never the same, but it's occasionally raucous!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Anyone who thinks Kesha is fun/entertaining to listen to should be ashamed of themselves. I know I am.

I will probably determine our dating compatibility based on your affinity for cilantro.

I give exactly zero fucks about the sport of baseball.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're interested, intrigued, and think we'd get along? Honestly, I don't send out many initial messages, because I know how many you're inundated with on a daily basis. Believe me, it's way easier for me to manage the messages I get than the ones you receive.

Besides, a girl who messages first? That's some really attractive shit right there.

Sidenote: Dull, generic messages will probably get deleted. It'd be nice to know you actually read my profile. Just sayin'.

ANYWAYS:

You think Brooklyn is the best borough (or Queens, because it's pretty fantastic as well).

You want to go exploring ethnic restaurants in some random part of the city. The more hole-in-the-wall the place, the better.

You think your beer knowledge can rival mine. Disclaimer: It can't.

Otherwise: you're a progressive, sarcastic, NPR-loving foodie with an affinity for words, theater, hiking, biking, or just aimlessly walking around at all hours of the day, we'll probably get along really well.

** I did not come up with this pickup line (but I wish I did).