holyinstantrice
24 Los Gatos, CA
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holyinstantrice
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My self-summary
i like to indiscriminately make good conversation with people in a way that makes them feel listened to and challenged at the same time.

trying to be as sincere and honest a person as possible. doing my part to fight irony culture (and so should you!!).

kind of a monk-like person but with an affinity for good jokes and perversion (like, in the zizek sense and more).

if you don't wanna take my word for it: "basically you are really extraordinary. extraordinarily considerate and gentle and deeply curious and thus unbelievably knowledgeable, and funny and you fit in nowhere cause you have so many faces and i know that causes you pain but it's also a really magnetic and good thing for a lot of other people but i know that isn't always enough, or what you might want at all."

pretty lukewarm endorsement
What I’m doing with my life
graduated from swarthmore. used to work in labs researching emotional neuroscience, then decided I wanted to work with asian american high schoolers on the bay area suicide epidemic. still doing that but main gig now is somewhere in the intersection of public journalism and artificial intelligence.

right now I read and think a lot about organizing asian american communities, how that's bound up with black liberation, feminist praxis, machine learning, and computer science.
I’m really good at
reading facial expressions and body language. listening to shit people say. thinking through difficult things. staying conscious of my position in the world. downplaying my karaoke ability until it's too late
The first things people usually notice about me
are probably the stark contrast between my smile and resting asshole face, and maybe the fact that my wardrobe limits me to dressing like some kind of korean popstar ninja. (is that really a limitation tho?) i also type in all lower-case online because capitalization and punctuation often feels so rigid and pretentious, like you have to read things exactly how i intend them. but i fully realize that what i'm doing is also rigid and pretentious

(and probably my boobs. [note: this was true some months ago when i was a lean 200 lbs. i was huge, man; i felt like Dwayne The Rock Johnson and had a shaved head and older white ladies crossed the street to avoid me at night. being all thick and bald was fun af but precluded a lot of meaningful social interactions with strangers. i've since dropped close to 15 lbs and learned to manage my life as a high-functioning swole person.])
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
currently reading:

manufacturing consent

the quran

between the world and me

--also, I don't watch much tv at all but I'm always down to watch either rick and morty or louie. still haven't seen the fifth season.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
HI THIS IS THE FUN PART OF MY PROFILE. i like thinking a lot. at any given moment, my mind is likely to be on at least one of these topics (because I mapreduce my thoughts): cognitive computing, the role of a/theism in community organizing, asian american gender and sexuality, colonialism, geopolitics, queer theory, and neural networks.

here are some specific questions from my brain.

how has sincerity come to be such a radical act?

what is the fundamental emotional basis behind victim-blaming? like it's got nothing to do with you bro

why is metal gear solid the greatest game series ever made? is big boss the most prominent example of an anarcho-communist in video gaming?

do I want to get hy00ge or $uper $hredded this spring bruh?

how problematic is it for me to identify as a straight cis-male feminist online? (sometimes people think I'm being snide with this one but I'm not)

why do white people say the darned-est things?

is it valid to take strong materialist views on issues of international relations? do personalities matter or is it just systems and material interests?

where does backpropagation live, man? like what's going on like whaat??

how can we juxtapose love and anger for political mobilization?

am I the person my ex wants me to be? (jesus christ i'm kidding about this one, most of the time)
On a typical Friday night I am
reading. or coaching weightlifting. or being straight patrick bateman with my neopets stock portfolio yeeeeeeeeee mayne
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
just admitted I play neopets like an aggressively anglo-american millionaire psychopath soooooooooooooo

also, not a very private thing as it's a pretty prominent occurrence should you ever meet me in person, but years after I started lifting I've still never been able to reconcile my newfound width with my ability to turn. so in a zoolander-esque quandary, i can't fuckin turn for shit and always bump into things that happen to be within six feet of me. it's all grace until you make me walk around things
You should message me if
--you think capitalism/racism/sexism/-ism-ism-ism isn't a fun time and like to make human connections that make life feel like a less terrifying proposition

--you are critical of your dating politics and your preference isn't for "white guy with a beard"
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