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honkeyotoole

31 / M / straight / Single

Amarillo, Texas

The Skinny

Last Online
Join Date
Ethnicity
White
Height
5' 9" (1.75m).
Body Type
Average
Looking For
New friends, Long-term dating
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
—
Sign
Pisces but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from college/university
Job
Other
Income
—
Kids
Likes children
Pets
Likes dogs and Likes cats
Languages
English (Fluently)

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Your Notes

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I am headlamp, linoleum, and pearl-snap.

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My Self-Summary

I am able to spell almost anything. I can run up trees in cheap sneakers. I once jumped over my house on a motorized television. I am able to withstand the most violent haircut. For my 31st birthday, I ate a dvd player. Once, on a bet, I played the piano with my shoe. My friends consider me to be an ottoman. My truck has 23 gears. I am of Icelandic descent, but you can't tell because of my tongue.

I am looking for a woman that can ride on fire-ant road trips with me (you will have to provide your own fire-ants.) The woman should also be able to lift her own body off the ground without using her legs, feet, arms, or hands. Tongue is ok, though.

What I’m doing with my life

I am training to perform hamster vaccinations. If that were to fall through, I feel that I would make an excellent hot-air balloon gondola weaver and maintainer.

I’m really good at

Duh...hamster vaccinating. I can fake the gondola weaving until I get good at it. Just don't attach my first one to a hot-air balloon, dumbass.

The first things people usually notice about me

People usually notice my complete lack of the ability to fly. Also, I can no longer bend time and space with my wristwatch.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Book - anything that is made into a movie
Movie - anything made from a book
Music - I like the music in movies (but only the ones made from books.)
Food - I usually just eat whatever the characters in the book or movie are eating

The six things I could never do without

Air
Water
Food
Shelter
Earth
Sunlight

I spend a lot of time thinking about

The damn dirty bastards that run the traffic light system in my town. If I could just get my hands on one of those people, God help him.

On a typical Friday night I am

Reading orphans to books; however, it can sometimes be difficult to find children with writing on them. If no children are available, I have also noticed that books enjoy deep tissue massages (but don't use oil, they prefer pancake batter.)

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

Once, I caught a mer-man while fishing for trout. We only made-out a little, though, so it wasn't gay. I mean, come on, it was a friggin' mer-man! His name was Steve. Or Larry. I can't remember.

You should message me if

Lord Zanu has commanded it. All hail Lord Zanu. But not his brother, Larry. Oh yeah.. THAT'S right. Lord Zanu's brother is Larry. The mer-man's name WAS Steve. Or Tom. Fuck! What was that fish-guy's name?

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